


Keep Yourself Alive

by BambiRex



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Sexual Assault, But we'll get there, Depression, F/F, Family Issues, Happy Ending, Insecurity, Pregnancy, Racism, Racist Language, Smut, a little tamer than the ones i usually write, but still watch out, designer!Regina, eventual poly!queen, fem!queen, graphic artist!freddie, king!au, like very eventual, mechanic!joan, mixed POVs in the last chapter, non!famous au, other tags will be added later on, poly!Queen, professor!brianna, so don't expect a very quick tempo, the first few chapters are basically introductions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:48:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 66,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21986182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BambiRex/pseuds/BambiRex
Summary: Freddie, Regina, Brianna and Joan never formed a band; they all live their lives as "regular" people, but dreams are not easy to achieve even if you're "just" a designer, or a mechanic. Oh, and falling in love is always a complicated thing, no matter what your job is.
Relationships: Brian May/Freddie Mercury/Roger Taylor, Brian May/Roger Taylor, John Deacon/Brian May/Freddie Mercury/Roger Taylor
Comments: 155
Kudos: 88





	1. Regina

**Author's Note:**

> I received some nice headcanons on my Tumblr about what if the girls weren't rockstars but they still met and fell in love with each other: how would that happen? How would they meet, what are their jobs?
> 
> I got really inspired, so i decided to write my thoughts into a full-blown fic; hopefully something good can come out of it :D
> 
> Bear with me, becaue it'll take a few chapters until we get to the actual poly stuff (but we'll get there, trust me).
> 
> Feedback is very much appreciated, so I can see if anyone is interested! :DD

_"What do you want to do with your life?”_

_"Not this. Definitely not this. I don’t want to be a fucking dentist. I’m only here because my asshole of a father forced me to. He said I need to get a real job. That I shouldn’t waste my brain.”_

_"Doing something you like is not wasting it.”_

_"That’s not what he thinks.”_

_"What do you think?”_

_"I don’t know…”_

_"Of course you do. What do you want to do, instead of being a dentist? What is your dream?”_

_"I…_

_Fashion. I want to work in fashion.”_

Having a conversation about what she wanted to do with her life, what her dreams were, basically equaled being asked what she thought the meaning of life was.

There was simply no good answer.

Because what she wanted and what she could actually achieve, were two completey separate things.

Regina Taylor never wanted to be a dentist. She knew that ever since she filled out the application form, ever since she walked through the gate of the large, intimidating building. She has always been a smart kid, the smartest one in her class, always admired by her teachers. She was the epitome of those kids that rarely did any actual studying, but they were so damn clever they still aced everything. That’s why her father wanted her to "put her brain to good use.” And what’s a better use, then going to med school and becoming a dentist?

Regina wanted to throw a tantrum, like a toddler, screaming and fighting tooth and nail against it. No, that’s not what she wanted. She wanted to design clothes, she wanted her own fashion line, she wanted models sashaying down the catwalk wearing her collection, she wanted to be the next Donatella Versace, or Coco Chanel, she wanted her name to become well-known, for people to say "aha, the famous Taylor fashion-line! Everyone needs a piece designed by Taylor in their wardrobe if they want to look astounding!”

Her father called it "bourgeois bullshit.” He always said you didn’t need brains, you didn’t need actual talent for that. Everyone could be a fashion designer, but not everyone could be a dentist.

Even Regina’s mother, who tended to be much more supportive of her and her choices than her father was, agreed that she’s way too smart for that. "We’d be so proud of you! Imagine it; dr. Taylor.”

"And you wouldn’t be proud of me, if my clothing line became the most famous in the entire world?” Regina asked, teeth gritted together in frustration, cheeks red, hands balled up into fists against her sides. Why couldn’t they just understand, that she had her own thoughts and dreams, and was fully inclined on following them? Why was it so bloody hard to see that she’s never going to be truly happy if she has to make her parents’, and not her own dreams come true!?

Even through the fog of her rage and disappointment, she could see there was no point in going against her father’s will. There was no point in turning her entire family against herself just because she preferred camisoles over cavities. Not to mention, her father was damn good in emotional manipulation, twisting everything until Regina really did feel like she would destroy her family and her own spirit if she didn’t follow his orders.

_Maybe I’ll learn to like it._

She never did. There wasn’t a single part of her education that she enjoyed; dry, stuffy material, too much studying and not enough fun, too many pretentious professors thinking they were above everyone else in the world just because they had a degree, looking down on the students –especially the female ones, thank god Regina also had to deal with that on top of everything else – and honestly, how could anyone truly want to finish this school and become an actual dentist was beyond Regina. She was more than one-hundred percent sure that no matter how hard she tries, no matter how much his father barks and how much her mother cries, she won’t be able to fulfill their wish.

There was only one thing that spiced her life up a little bit, the only thing she could be thankful for while struggling through this shitstorm of an education.

Her school was a joint building, sharing space with another university that was specialized in the ,,even more boring side of science” according to Regina, Maths and Phyics and Astronomy. At first she thought of it as another burden, having to share her dorm room with someone that didn’t even attend the same classes she did, but she learned to love it pretty quickly.

Her roomate was quite the eminent student, always buried in her books and notes. They didn’t even talk more than just a few words in passing in the first week when they moved in.

Regina was currently lying on the bed, smoking, watching the clouds flying up from her cig and curling towards the ceiling. She has disabled the fire alarm (basically trashing it into pieces) the first day she got here so she could at least have some serotonin, since smoking was the only thing that she could rely on here. The other girl was hunched over her book again, her messy curls almost completely covering her face. It was kind of funny, to only be able to see a dark brown bush, though the girl underneath was pretty, if a little tense.

"What are you studying?” Regina perked up nonchalantly after an out-stretched period of silence. She decided to skip her class today, not feeling like being teased by her asshole teacher again. She could tell she was bothering the other girl in her studying, but she sure as hell didn’t feel like going out either. It was uncharacteristically cold for early September.

The girl looked up, shaking her curls out of her face with a surprised look. Regina rarely iniated conversation with her, or anyone, really.

"I’m reading a chapter about interplanetary dust. It’s truly fascinating. I think I’ll write my thesis on this one.”

Regina chuckled in disbelief before she stubbed her cigarette on the "Don’t Smoke Inside The Dorms!” sign on the wall, scrambling up into a half-sitting position.

"Are you so sure already that you’re going to finish here?”

The girl –Brianna, that was her name if Regina remembered correctly, it was hard to keep track here with all the people that flooded the huge building- raised an eyebrow in question, turning in her chair to face her properly.

"What do you mean?”

Regina shrugged, inspecting her nails with a frown. She could see that she burned the end of her finger with the cig, and she didn’t even feel it. God, she hated this place so much, she was so damn melancholic. She wasn’t being herself at all, and only one week has passed. Maybe it was a sign from above, that she really shouldn’t try and follow a path that wasn’t truly hers.

"Maybe you’ll realize you actually hate it. That you want to do something else completely.”

"I’ve wanted this forever.” Brianna admitted with a soft smile. "Ever since I was a kid, I knew that this is what I wanted to do.”

Regina hummed. "Damn, alright. Good for you.”

Brianna’s eyes softened even more, taking in Regina’s grey, exhausted face. "What about you? You don’t feel like being a dentist is the road you have to take, huh?”

"How could you tell?” Regina chuckled. Alright, maybe this girl wasn’t even that tense. She seemed really nice, at least.

"Your face. You always look like you’ve completely burnt out already, and only a week has passed. You keep skipping your classes, smoke two packs of cigarettes each day and you doodle in your textbooks all the time. Only people who don’t care about the subject at all do that.”

Regina hummed again, her lips curling into a small smile.

"Guilty as charged, I guess. No, I don’t think that’s what I want to do with my life.”

Brianna nodded, getting up from her chair and walking over to Regina’s bed, lowering herself a little awkwardly. She was so tall, her long limbs took up half the place, and for some strange reason, it made Regina’s heart all warm.

"Well…what do you want to do with your life?”

Regina snorted, staring down at her fingers again. She hated conversations like that. Everytime she talked about what she truly wanted, it ended badly. Though they only did when she was talking to her parents, and this was Brianna, a seemingly friendly girl her age, who definitely didn’t look like she was going to chew off Regina’s neck.

"Not this. Definitely not this. I don’t want to be a fucking dentist. I’m only here because my asshole of a father forced me to. He said I need to get a real job. That I shouldn’t waste my brain.”

Brianna rolled her eyes at that, and yes, she definitely seemed to be on Regina’s side.

"Doing something you like is not wasting it. Doing something you hate, however, definitely is.”

"That’s not what he thinks.” Regina murmured, ripping off a hangnail in frustration, wincing in pain. God, she really needed to stop fidgeting with her hands so much. If she keeps this up, she won’t have hands by the semester ends.

"What do you think?” Brianna asked softly, her eyes gentle, searching, boring deeply into Regina’s. She had really pretty, hazel eyes with long lashes, and Regina could feel herself flush slightly.

"I don’t know…” She mumbled, barely intelligible as she chewed on her bottom lip nervously. Her lazy confidence from before was nowhere to be seen now that they were at this godawful, akward topic again. Brianna tutted softly.

"Of course you do. What do you want to do, instead of being a dentist? What is your dream?”

Regina swallowed thickly. Should she start talking about her biggest dreams to a complete stranger? Does this conversation even make any sense? Would it change anything?

But Brianna seemed different, like she genuinely cared about what Regina thought and felt. Not at all like other people on campus who were only friendly if they wanted to borrow something. She didn’t seem to be like that. Maybe Regina was too vulnerable in this godforsaken place, but there was something about this kind stranger that made her feel like she could finally trust someone.

"I…” She started, then trailed off a little. Brianna was watching her intently, waiting for her to finish the sentence patiently, and when she oh so lightly but still encouragingly squeezed Regina’s hand, her mouth opened and started talking before she could stop herself:

"Fashion. I want to work in fashion.”

It felt so liberating, finally saying it out loud. Her father made her feel so stupid and ashamed of this, that she couldn’t help but think that everyone else thought about it that way. But seeing Brianna’s gentle eyes and her caring smile, she couldn’t help but relax and think that maybe, maybe, it wasn’t that stupid of an idea after all.

"There you go.” Brianna said, grinning, gently patting Regina’s knee. "You know exactly, what you want. I only have one question, then.”

"What?” Regina asked, raising a curious eyebrow.

"What the hell are you doing here?”

Regina burst into laughter at that. It wasn’t even that funny, but there was something about this entire situation, about opening up to someone she barely knows and letting her in on what she actually wanted, and that person acting fully supportive made all her insecurities and doubts fly away; it was like as if the walls her father has been building up around her for years, were finally crumbling a little.

Brianna just watched with a smile as Regina kept laughing, wiping at her tears that spilled out as she wheezed, throwing herself back on the bed. She must have looked like a fucking fool, but she couldn’t care.

After a while, Regina finally stopped, letting out a deep breath, staring up at the ceiling with a giddy grin.

Really, what the hell was she doing here?


	2. Brianna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was a meteor, an unstoppable force aiming towards her goal, shining brightly and blinding everyone who even dared to question her choices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After we covered what Regina has been dreaming and hoping for, and her struggles, it's time to do the same for Brianna!
> 
> Feedback is very much appreciated, and Happy New Year to everyone!! :))

_’’What are you gonna do, if it doesn’t work out?”_

_’’You don’t think it will?”_

_’’That’s not what I said. But life is not always a fairytale, you know that. So, what are you going to do, if you don’t manage? What’s your B-plan?”_

_’’I don’t have one.”_

_’’Daring.”_

_’’I know. But I can’t even imagine doing anything else. If it won’t work out for the first time, I’ll just try again.”_

Brianna was only five years old when her father has taken her to the Planetarium. She didn’t have a lot of clear memories from before the age of six-seven, but this one was ingrained so deeply into her brain, nothing would have been able to delete it from there.

Her little face was all but shining in awe as she took in the sight of constellations, listened to the fascinating stories of astronauts and scientists who discovered new stars and hidden planets, who dedicated their life to get to know the unknown, to try and solve the seemingly unsolvable secret of the entire Universe.

Brianna was only five years old when she decided that no matter what happens, this is what she wants to do too.

And when Brianna has put her mind to something, literally nothing and no one could deter her from achieveing her goals.

She had immense luck, because she was brilliant in Maths and Physics and general sciences; she clearly had the brain, and the enthusiasm at the same time. Her parents were always supportive of her, thank god. They were extremely happy for their daughter when she has won her first decathlon, and they never shyed away from putting her up on somewhat of a pedestal.

But there was no need for modesty about it: Brianna was smart, and she was determined, ready to burst through any wall that might try and come up around her to keep her away from getting what she wanted.

She was a meteor, an unstoppable force aiming towards her goal, shining brightly and blinding everyone who even dared to question her choices.

Most people at least had some sort of doubts, some second thoughts about their choice of career, about whether they were on the right path; Brianna never had any of those. She decided to conquer the stars when she was five, and she never changed her mind, no matter what she went through as she grew up, no matter what other people said.

University was a wondeful root for self-doubts, though, able to make even the brightest meteors unsure of themselves.

Brianna was soaring in her first years like she has always done before, strong and relentless, taking no prisoners whether it was just a quick test, or an important exam: she was getting closer and closer to reaching her destination.

She has also found a bright star for herself to keep her on the road no matter what.

Regina was her polar opposite: coming from a family that never truly supported her and cared for her actual dreams, pushing their own agenda onto her, she was an already burned-out, sad shadow of herself as she struggled with dentistry, hating the world around her big time. Brianna could see it right away, how her eyes never had the same sparkle Brianna did, her very being rejecting the idea of learning something she never had any interest in whatsoever.

Brianna cared about her. She wanted to protect her, wanted to show her how to live her dreams and go against the odds like Brianna did, even if it meant pissing her parents off in the process.

Regina didn’t need much encouragement, though. She gave herself an ultimatum, that she gives one last try, finishes her first year, and if she still hates it, she leaves immediately.

A wonderful friendship blossomed between the roommates, that quickly escalated into something else, kisses tasting of cheap wine they sneaked in from the store, bodies flushed and heated under the blankets as they explored every nook and cranny of each other, murmuring sweet nothing into the other’s ears. They never explicitly stated that they were in a relationship, but there was no need for that. They were young and so full of dreams, and they could beautifully release some of their youthful energy with each other. It was just keeping it fun and leisure, as Regina once said. Nothing wrong with that.

Still, after Regina finished her first year and decided it was time to go, Brianna had an uncomfortable lump in her throat. Regina seemed to have the same problem, packing her stuff agonizingly slowly despite wanting out so much.

’’Where will you go?” Brianna asked as she watched her folding her clothes. God, Regina was awful at folding, so it was more like crumpling them, and Brianna was thinking about offering to help, so they could be a little closer to one another one last time before she leaves. Because Brianna was sure, that their small romance is gonna end once Regina steps out of the building and takes off to turn her own dreams into reality.

’’I’m not sure.” Regina admitted, fidgeting with a skirt in her hands. ’’I’m not going home. I can’t. I’m pretty sure I’m already disowned.”

Her voice came out on a bitter little chuckle in the end, and Brianna couldn’t resist walking over to her and wrap her in a hug. Fuck the folding. She could be close to her like this, and it would mean so much more for the both of them. Regina melted into the hug, tucking her face neatly into the crook of Brianna’s neck.

’’Probably gonna look for some cheap flat. Look for a flatmate to pay the rent with me.”

Brianna nodded, hiding her own face in Regina’s hair, breathing in her sweet scent. She always smelled like peaches, and it made Brianna’s head swim.

’’I’m gonna miss you.” Brianna admitted, her chest tighetning uncomfortably. Regina was quiet for a few minutes, before she looked up at her, her eyes sad.

’’I’m gonna miss you too.” she said quietly, her hands coming up to cup Brianna’s cheeks. ’’But I have to go, you know that. I can’t stay here, it’s like I’m in prison here.”

’’I know.” Brianna said, gently stroking her cheeks. They were sure getting sentimental for ’fun and leisure’.

They were silent for another few moments, neither of them knowing what to say. Regina had to leave, Brianna knew that, and she supported her fully. Still, there was that selfish little part of her that didn’t feel like letting her go.

’’What are you gonna do, if it doesn’t work out?” Regina asked, looking up at her again. ’’You were so inspiring, telling me to follow my dreams, but what if it won’t work out for you?”

’’You don’t think it will?” Brianna asked with a little chuckle, and Regina lightly swatted at her arm.

’’That’s not what I said. But life is not always a fairytale, you know that.” she took a deep breath, seemingly rethinking her last year here, before she continued.

’’So, what are you gonna do, if you don’t manage? What’s your B-plan?”

Nothing. Brianna never had a B-plan, and she knew it could be potentially dangerous, but she never felt the need to have one. She was sure, one-hundred percent, and even though Regina was right about asking, she couldn’t even comprehend the question.

’’I don’t have one.” she admitted eventually with a small smile. Regina chuckled, but there was a smile playing on her lips as well.

’’Daring.”

Brianna laughed. ’’I know. But I can’t even imagine doing anything else. If it won’t work out for the first time, I’ll just try again.”

Regina smiled, standing on the tips of her toes to drop a little kiss onto the tip of Brianna’s nose.

’’I really wish it will work out for you.”

Brianna smoothed her thumbs over Regina’s cheekbones, looking deeply into her eyes. She wanted to make sure the moment lasts and that Regina will truly understand the meaning when she said:

’’I wish the same for you.”

They kissed, all their hopes and dreams and insecurites pouring over from between their lips, and Brianna’s heart broke for the thought that this is the last time they’ll ever kiss.

She was wrong.

Regina called her regularly after she moved out of the dorms, keeping her informed about everything that was going on with her life since she left dentistry behind, and they also visited each other a lot.

Fun and leisure definitely wasn’t the right word for their relationship now, and none of them seemed to mind that despite the distance, their love for each other only grew.

It was the saving grace for Brianna when she hitted her roughest patch after her last year, still staying in the institute to complete the last ’mission’, getting her doctorate.

They seemed to be switching roles, because while Regina was flying in her new life studying fashion and design, Brianna started doubting herself.

Her dissertation that she worked so hard on was a ’piece of trash’ according to her consulant who demanded a complete rewrite, and Brianna felt like all of her dreams were turning into dust, everything she was building so hard up at this point crumbling down. She wasn’t used to failure. She hopped over the walls like they were nothing in her whole life, and now, when her goal was almost just a heartbeat away, she didn’t seem to be able to climb this one.

’’You were right, I should have had a B-plan.” she said into the phone brokenly, rubbing at her face like she wanted to tear it off. She has been up all night, trying to figure something out, but that one rejection was enough for her to completely freeze, unable to come up with anything.

’’It’s not working out, Regina. I’ve been working so hard, and what for? To have my dreams called a ’piece of trash’? Maybe I never belonged here. Maybe I never truly had it in me.”

’’This is not true, and you know that.” came the soft reply from the other end of the line. ’’Look how fare you’ve gotten. You can’t back down now.”

’’I never accounted for this to happen.” Brianna admitted, blinking hard to hold back her tears of disappointment.

’’ I thought I could manage.”

’’You can, and you will.” Regina said, her voice more determined than ever. ’’Brianna, listen to me. You would have never gotten this far if you didn’t have it in you. You had to face some difficulties now, and I know that it sucks, but you’ll get through it. Because you always had. Your situation is not like mine was. I was never meant to be a dentist, but you were always meant to be an astrophysicist. You were always meant to give lectures to students like you are now, nursing their dreams. You were always meant to be solving equations and discovering life on Mars or whatever you freaks like to do.”

Brianna laughed, tears stinging her eyes. That’s why she loved Regina so much. She was always honest, and even if she didn’t fully understand everything Brianna liked, she still supported her with all her might.

’’You can’t give up, Brianna.” Regina continued, her voice much softer this time. ’’You’re not allowed to give up.”

Brianna was silent for a while, contemplating everything Regina said, chewing the words and digesting them like a heavy meal. She was right. She couldn’t give up. She thought back on the little girl, sitting on her father’s lap, eyes wide in awe in the Planetarium, the excited child thirsty for knowledge as she read books upon books about everything that had anything to do with space, the teenage girl stargazing and imagining what it was like up there, in the big, dark unknown that fascinated her to no end, her eagerness to learn and discover and teach others about the very same things that made her so happy.

If she gave up now, the little girl and the dreamy teenager and every single part of her that has been built into her very core as she got older would die, and she would just be an empty shell, grey and exhausted, missing all the things she never truly got to experience because she got scared of failure.

She was not allowed to give up.

’’Regina?” she perked up after some silence. It was a wonder Regina didn’t hang up on her in the meantime while wating for her to answer.

’’Yes?”

’’I love you.”

She could practically heard Regina’s smile in the phone as she said ’I love you too.’

Her dissertation was thrown back two more times, but Brianna transformed into a raging bull, and instead of curling up on herself, she became relentless and pushed forward. And pushed, and pushed, until she received the green light.

Brianna May, that stubborn girl with the dreams of getting to know every single star in the Galaxy, burst through the last wall again.

Brianna May didn’t give up, even though that for a while, that seemed like the most clever thing to do.

And dr. Brianna May could thank her own little lucky star for that.


	3. Freddie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But what if she didn’t want to break through? Or couldn’t? What if she has never meant to be any of those big things her parents tried to force onto her?
> 
> Why couldn’t she just be Freddie?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to take a look at what Freddie was struggling with, because let's be real...everyone is fucking struggling in this story lmao
> 
> Comments are appreciated!! :))

_’’I’m not smart enough.”_

_’’You are. You are plenty smart, aziz-am.”_

_’’No, I’m not. And you know that too. I’d never make it the way you’d want me to.”_

_’’Is this really what you want?”_

_’’I don’t know what I want. But this is the only thing I’m good at. Sorry, for being a disappointment, Mama.”_

Ever since she was a kid, her parents kept repeating the same thing over and over again: ’’you’ll have to work twice as hard as anyone else.”

So, Freddie was off to a good start right away. Of course, she knew what her parents meant: being a woman of color, there was always the possibility of being denied the same oppurtinities as her peers. And her parents seemed to have some sort of agenda about it; they wanted Freddie to prove herself. To prove that she could rise above all odds.

But the problem was, that Freddie didn’t really feel like proving herself. Not in the way her family wanted her, anyways.

They used distant relatives as great examples of ’’you can be anything you want to be”, and obviously, those relatives were lawyers, accountants, real big dogs in the business world. They made it. They turned their dreams into reality, spat in the face of anyone who laughed at them and told them they wouldn’t make it.

A real fairytale, truly, and Freddie understood why her parents were so amazed by it. So was she.

But for a long, long time, she was just sailing on the water of youth without any real ambition. She never believed she was smart enough to be a lawyer, nor she wanted to be. Boring documents? Horrible years at uni, consuming all that dry material? Thanks, but no thanks.

What did she want to be, then?

Well, she really wished she knew. Everyone has fever dreams about being rockstars or conquering Hollywood, becoming an astronaut and flying amongst the stars, or discovering the cure for cancer.

Freddie never really had any of those. She was completely fine in the comfort of her own home, skimming through fashion magazines and listening to loud rock & roll, and daydreaming, always daydreaming about some unechiavable, romantic scenario where a beautiful, strong and rich woman comes along, and she could happily live her life as a spoiled sugar baby.

Because, of course, she was gay too, another thing her parents used as their reason as to why Freddie just had to do big things, had to break through.

_Too much handicap, something has to come out of it. Something big. Like in movies, where the loser rises to the top and blows everyone’s minds._

But what if she didn’t want to break through? Or couldn’t? What if she has never meant to be any of those big things her parents tried to force onto her?

Why couldn’t she just be Freddie?

When she changed her name, abandoning Fareeda and transforming into Freddie, her family thought that this was it, here’s her breakthrough. She’s abandoning her traditional life (much to her family’s disdain for a while, but that was besides the point) and ready to take on a new one. This might be a little disrespectful to them, but at least she will do something about her life.

But Freddie just wanted a nickname that sounded more Western. Her white peers in school made a big show out of pretending they couldn’t pronounce her name, despite it not being that difficult at all, and Freddie was getting real fed up with it.

She still wasn’t planning that much awaited breakthrough, and as much as she tried to act all nonchalant about it, it soon started eating away at her from the inside out.

She was a disappointment. She was making her family sad. She was making those relatives, who fought tooth and nail to get where they are right now, disappointed as hell.

Freddie couldn’t be the protagonist of that fairytale her family created, because she didn’t feel like one, couldn’t be one. And seeing her mother’s disappointed face everytime she responded with an ’i don’t know’ to the question of what in the hell she was planning to do with her life once she has to choose was nothing but disheartening.

At least she could draw, she thought with a bitter little chuckle after a particularly nasty fight with her parents, again, about her plans.

_’’You’re gonna study, or you’re gonna work, I don’t care, but we’re not going to keep a roof over your head forever! You have to do something with your life, daydreaming doesn’t pay the bills!”_

Whenever she was upset, Freddie drew. She retrieved a piece of paper from the drawer of her bedside table, pencils and charcoal, and got to work.

She never really had an exact plan about what she wanted to create: she just let the artistic flow take her wherever it felt like. Freddie let the feeling take the lead, and she just merely flew after it.

Her father didn’t like it that she used her heart more often than she used her head, but Freddie had no problem with it at all. She could use her head, of course, she definitely wasn’t as stupid as she claimed and believed herself to be, but she saw what always using their heads did to other people. To her parents too, that were just empty shells of what she has seen of them when she was just a little girl. Always work, work, and more work. No fun. Grey faces and a barely surviving marriage that was only kept together by routine and comfort. 

Freddie didn’t want that. She may have been a dreamer, frustrating her parents to no end with her indecision about her future, but she sure as hell was happier than them. When she wasn’t worrying about breaking her poor mother’s heart, of course.

So she was dreaming onto the paper, her hand sliding on autopilot, making the fuzzy pictures in her mind slowly come together into one big whole, coming alive on the paper in front of her.

Freddie’s parents always tried to make sure she kept some Indian traditions despite her refusal, trying to teach her about Zoroastrianism and Zarathustra and Ahura Mazda and ’’all that jazz’’ as Freddie jokingly called it (which earned her a glass of cold water being poured over her head by her mother), but it never really worked with her. Freddie wasn’t particularly religious; her dreams could only go that far.

Though on that day, she had an experience that could have been easily described as religious, because there was just no other explanation about it.

After she was done drawing, she looked over the paper with a little hum, and suddenly, she felt a burst of motivation surge through her whole body, something she rarely ever experienced before.

Why couldn’t she be an artist?

She had the talent, it was a nice hobby, she had the imagination too-so why not?

Her parents almost simultenously got a heart attack when she suddenly burst into the room, a huge smile almost splitting her face, still waving the paper, her newest creation that seemed to open up her eyes, in her hands.

’’I’m going to be an artist!” she announced, and before either her mother, Jer, or her father, Bomi could question her and ask for an actual explanation, she strodded back up the stairs again, pulling out another piece of paper.

It was well into the morning when she fell asleep, as she spent the whole night drawing. She absolutely had no idea where the sudden inspiration came from, but she certainly didn’t mind it. Finally, finally, there seemed to be a light at the end of the dark, proverbial tunnel.

It wasn’t that easy, of course. Nothing ever is.

After her sudden revelation, she decided to apply to an art college, much to her parents’ satisfaction. Bomi still had some doubts, and would have preferred a job for his daughter where she could actually ’’go against the odds and show the world who she really was”, but at least she wasn’t just lazing on the floor of her room anymore.

And Freddie was optimistic, perhaps a little naive as she stepped out into the real world, so full of motivation and hopes; there she was, turning a lazy hobby into an actual job! She has been led by her heart all her life, and look where it has lead her!

Freddie was now finally ready to take on the world in her own way.

She’s finished school with pretty nice grades, and she couldn’t be happier. Here she was, about to become a graphic artist. And as they say, if your job is something you like, than you never truly work a day, right?

Oh, how lovely.

Except, after Freddie got her degree, she struggled to find an actual job. It seemed like all those stories about people getting a job practically anywhere with an art degree and doing exciting freelance stuff, were just a bunch of empty promises.

No one seemed to be interested in young Freddie Bulsara, no matter her good grades and her nice portfolio, and the only dream she had seemed to be shattering into a million pieces now.

Freddie literally applied to anything that had something to do with drawing for someone, humiliating jobs of making a portrait of a rich family’s ugly daughter, receiving absolutely ridiculous payment in return.

She has also experienced the harsh reality of what was it like to be a young woman full of hope and looking for a job, because the job description said ’’designing tattoos” which sounded pretty great to Freddie, but when she got there, it was just a huge guy, built like a shit-brickhouse, that grabbed Freddie and tried to put his hand under her skirt, asking her if she wanted to work naked. Freddie didn’t, and she was lucky that she managed to break free and ran away.

After that, she got wary of job applications, but this way finding anything seemed even more hopeless. She got a few more jobs like that, more rich people asking for either stupid portraits or some ’’interior design advice” which consisted of getting her boobs grabbed by sleazy businessmen, and when she protested, they called her a ’’disgusting immigrant that should just be a janitor anyways.” Oh, and of course, she didn’t even get paid after a fiasco like that.

Freddie couldn’t help but think that those long years of having no ambition weren’t even accidental. Maybe it was a sign. A sign that she shouldn’t even bother, because it was pointless.

She had that sudden rush of motivation on that afternoon, but she was losing every ounce of it now. Not having a real job, and living in dirty motels was never a part of her daydreams.

At least she could solve the living problem when she stumbled upon a flyer that advertised a small, ratty-looking little apartment, recently sub-leased by a young girl spending her last year in fashion school that had to move out of her dorm room because of her asshole roommate, and couldn’t find a better place to live. And now she was in desperate need of a flatmate, because she couldn’t pay the rent alone.

Freddie decided to give it a try; it sounded much better than having to spend one more night in that disgusting motel. She called the girl, and they agreed Freddie could come over and check out the place, while the girl checks out her potential new flatmate.

They hit it off quite well and quickly; Regina had a really fun personality, smart and witty, dropped out of dentistry to follow her dreams and become a fashion designer.

’’So, we’re both artists in a way.” Freddie mused, and Regina grinned with a little shrug.

’’It seems like it.”

Though Regina definitely had it better. She at least had a dream that she could fulfill, or at least had a bigger chance to. Or who knows, maybe the stories about fashion degrees being needed so much was just another lie, like about her own degree.

She called her mother on the evening she moved in with Regina, her heart clenching uncomfortably as her mother asked, excited:

’’Do you have a real job yet?”

’’No, Mama.” Freddie sighed, her hand quickly growing clammy against the phone. ’’Just those little gigs I talked about.”

Jer sighed softly into the phone.

’’Maybe if you tried something else…a law degree could get you anywhere.”

The old song again. Freddie groaned, rubbing at her eyes tiredly.

’’We’ve talked about this. I’m not smart enough.”

’’You are. You are plenty smart, aziz-am.” Jer tutted, and Freddie had to swallow back her tears that threatened to spill out.

’’No, I’m not. And you know that too. I’d never make it the way you’d want me to.” she said, her voice smaller and weaker than usual. God, she was so tired of this whole thing. She couldn’t achieve anything, not even that one thing she put her mind to.

’’Is this really what you want?’’ Jer asked, her voice full of concern. ’’Being a graphic artist, if it causes you so much trouble?”

’’I don’t know what I want.” Freddie replied, her voice shaking awfully. Those tears started to sting her eyes harder, ready to make their way down on her cheeks freely. ’’But this is the only thing I’m good at. Sorry, for being a disappointment, Mama.”

She faintly heard Jer saying something akin to ’’no, you are not”, but she hang up mid-sentence. She couldn’t handle hearing her mother’s worrying voice, reminding her of her own stupidity and naivety.

Freddie wiped her tears away, letting out a shaky breath. She jumped slightly when a hand touched her shoulder, causing her to whip around.

Regina smiled at her softly. ’’You know, once I finish school, I want to open a small boutique for a start. With a few clothes I made.”

Freddie stared at her, confused. Why is she telling her this?

’’I think I might know a job for you.” Regina said, and Freddie immediately perked up.  
’’Really?”

’’Yeah. I know, that it’s at least still half a year away, but it’s something.”

Freddie nodded eagerly, the premise of luck finally finding her filling her with ecstasy.

’’What kind of job?”

’’The boutique would need a lot of promo.” Regina explained softly. ’’You could help me with that. And, eventually, it’d need a logo too.”

Freddie couldn’t help the wide grin that spread out on her face at that.

Maybe it was still some time away, but right now, Freddie was satisfied even with the possibility.

Because she has always been a dreamer, as we know it.


	4. Joan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe you were just meant to exist and follow the steps, fix things when they start to malfunction and then move on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to look at Joan's background, with a tiny bit of foreshadowing of how she'll fit with the rest of the story. Be patient about it, though! :)
> 
> Feedback is very much appreciated!

_’’What do you mean?”_

_’’I mean I can’t do this anymore. I need someone that can actually provide for me.”_

_’’I can do that.”_

_’’I’m not just talking about the money. I have certain needs that aren’t getting satisifed.”_

_’’I’m not sure I follow…”_

_’’I’m saying that we’re on very different intellectual levels, and I’m losing my status for it.”_

Little Joan Deacon had ’’strange” and ’’different” practically plastered onto her forehead ever since she had the ability to speak fluently and articulate what was going on in her tiny mind.

She always had a hard time to fit in, and it was an inexplicable phenomenon, because in her own words, she wanted nothing more than to blend in, to get lost in the crowd, not even thinking about standing out and becoming extraordinary. It was exhausting, energy-draining, too many people and too much noise, a shitstorm of sensory overload for someone who didn’t handle it so well. The world was big and sometimes scary, way too scary, and staying grey and leaning against the wall saved her a lot of trouble. But maybe it was her adamant desire to blend in and live her life on energy-saving mode that made her stand out against her will, that made her peers throw strange glances in her direction and label her as a weirdo.

’’Joan is unable to make friends.” Her parents had heart this sentence over and over from the school counselor, all worried and concerned about the mental well-being of their little girl. 

But tha fact of the matter is that Joan was perfectly fine. She wasn’t depressed, she didn’t avoid social interaction deliberately; maybe she just wasn’t wired that way, being loud and flamboyant and unabashed. Maybe she was fine with those one or two friends with their similar mindset. She wasn’t unfriendly, she just didn’t like it when society tried to push her over her limits because that was the acceptable form of existing. Because if you’re not always on your one-hundred and ten percent every single day in your life, you’re probably a lowlife or a social outcast.

This mentality, the mentality Joan hated so much and never truly understood, followed her through her entire life, casting a shadow on her personality, looming over her from every corner like a sleep paralysis demon with red glowing eyes and rows upon rows of sharp-knife teeth.

’’The problem is, that you have no personality.” One of her classmates said in high school, frowning as Joan highlighted a paragraph in her textbook, barely listening to what she was saying.

’’You want to fit in so much because you’re scared of the attention. But this is exactly how you bring the focus onto yourself all the time. You’re like, on the other side of boring. When you’re so boring that people just feel the need to find out why the hell you are so boring all the fucking time.”

’’Thanks.” Joan said simply, brushing her hair out of her face as she finally looked back at her friend –or, a slightly nicer companion, perhaps- , scrunching her nose up in something akin to disgust.

’’I do have a personality, thank you very much. I just don’t feel the need to perform and put on a show for everyone. If I’m grumpy, I’m grumpy. Why should I pretend everything is fine when it’s not? If I’m happy, I’m happy and go around smiling. Not everyone has to be a cuckatoo.”

But despite her feeling quite comfortable with the way she was, she couldn’t help her darkest insecurities from bubbling up deep inside her as other people clearly didn’t appreciate her way of thinking. People tended to be uncomfortable with what they don’t understand, and they didn’t understand Joan. She was unabashed in her opinions about everything, and as she said, she never felt the need to mask what was going on inside her. She was unapologetically herself with all her quirks and quiet persona that was almost always mistaken as being shy, and people around her were frustrated, because they constantly wanted pshychoanalyze her to find the root of her behavior, and then they never found anything. Because this is just how Joan was.

Joan was never really a dreamer. Never wanted to be a princess nor a knight. She had a very rational way of thinking from a very young age. She always knew she has to find a job one day, something that hopefully pays enough to make a comfortable living out of it; that was just the way of life. You’re born, you grow, you go to school and learn useful things and useless things, you get a job, you get paid, you probably get married along the way and have kids, you grow old, you retire, you die.

It was all so simple, and Joan liked simple things: that’s why she liked Maths. For other people, numbers and equations were confusing, but not to her. She has found a certain solace in the way a scientifically proven formula could be used, how the seemingly chaotic, jumbled up mess of numbers and letters all blended into one big logical solution if you just followed the right steps and used your rational way of thinking. That’s what Joan enjoyed: things being rational and logical. Life worked that way in her mindset. You followed the steps, checking off every part of the equation and then you have the result. Easy peasy.

It was probably the beauty of logical thinking that made Joan decide to study engineering: you just put the pieces together like in a puzzle, and then everything will work out. No need for long philosophical talks about the meaning of life, no need for having a rich imagination that would create art, no need for big dreams and performing and putting yourself out there all the time, proving everyone that despite being a small piece of dust in the cosmos, you still had purpose. Maybe you didn’t have purpose, Joan thought. Maybe you were just meant to exist and follow the steps, fix things when they start to malfunction and then move on.

She never admitted to herself, but deep down, in her unconsious, she knew the death of her father left too much of an impact on her way of thinking. Sure, she has always been the ’’silent observer” in general, but after her father passed away, right around the time she desperately needed support in navigating her life in her early teenage years, finding herself and moulding her own personality through drastic changes in her body and mind, most of her thoughts became that much darker. Her father didn’t die after retiring and growing old; he didn’t follow the steps, and it has made Joan’s own little beliefs about how life works crumble around its bases. Maybe life was meaningless, after all. Maybe there was no logic anywhere, and that scared Joan, and just made her all the more desperate to find that much craved rationality in everything she did. She wanted to follow those steps, in the hope that maybe she could get some logic in her own life at least.

Of course, nothing is ever that simple, and in the grand scheme of things, life is possibly the least logical equation out of everything else.

Her studies went well, really well: she was one of the only two girls in her class, being constantly leered at by their male counterparts, and to be completely honest, it made Joan quite amused inside. She never felt that sudden surge of motivation, like she had to prove something, proudly showing everyone that girls can do just as well in that heavily male-dominated field; she just continued being her nonchalant but extremely smart self, beating her classmates’ self-esteem down into a bloody pulp as she kept marching forward, being better than any of them.

Joan’s insistence of fulfilling her grey little role in life suffered from a little stag; she fell in love. To be honest, for a while, she thought she was incapable of that. She never really had that pink-cloud moment where her stomach was filled with butterflies and her heart was pounding loudly inside her chest, where all she could think of was another person that held her mind and heart captive.

Of course, this could have been just a ’’symptom” of being gay, since it was clear that boys never moved anything inside her, whether we’re talking about romance or sexuality. She did experiment, as everyone would, but it wasn’t working out. It was boring, and more of an obligation than genuine interest. She soon made peace with the fact that she found girls way more attractive, and she did feel sexual desire towards them, but the romance part…she probably wasn’t wired that way either. Just her being her general weirdo self.

Then she met Holly.

Holly wasn’t nearly as good at engineering as she was, but she was smart, and she marched along with Joan, though always a few steps behind. She was pretty much unapologetic in her own beliefs, louder and more of a ’’performer” than Joan was, but she did find herself infatuated with her. This was the first time she truly fell in love someone, and albeit Joan never really believed in the changing power of love, she found herself opening up bit by bit. Holly has brought the best out of her, beckoning her out of her little shell and perhaps proving to her, that life didn’t need to be all about rational, meticulously planned steps and staying in your own lane at all times.

It was the first time in years after her father’s death that Joan truly felt happy. All the cliche bullshit seemed to be true, even the sun was shining brighter, and that pang inside her chest that was always there but she did her best to ignore it, was dissipating. Holly has took her hand and led her out of a darkness that surrounded her without her noticing it.

Their relationship didn’t falter, not even after Holly has decided engineering bored her to no end and decided to go to med school instead. It was all fine, Holly finally living her dreams to become a doctor, and Joan could become a mechanic, still following the steps she wanted, but with her head held up much higher and with much more enthusiasm in general.

But again, life is not that simple nor rational. 

Everything was supposed to go easy after that, with Holly becoming a cardiologist, the youngest in that field, breaking through barrels, while Joan could fix broken washing machines, humming softly under her breath and enjoying her life more than ever. But it all turned to shit soon.

Holly has changed. She changed so much, but Joan tried to ignore it. She was a doctor, after all, her attitude was supposed to be a little more high and mighty, right? That’s how it works.

Except, Holly was a completely different person now. She seemed to develop a chip on her shoulder, becoming quite arrogant about the fact how she broke into this field so quickly and how respected she already was. The fact that most of their bills had to be paid by her, thanks to Joan’s nearly not as high income, also did nothing to change her behavior.

Joan could sense the dark clouds, but she tried to ignore it. It worked to an extent, until one day, it didn’t work anymore.

Coming home to see Holly’s stuff packed up, and her girlfriend standing in the middle of the room with a determined look on her face caused alarms to raise inside Joan’s head.

’’What’s going on?” she asked, trying to mask the panic in her voice. Holly sighed, her eyes almost looking sorry for her poor devil of a soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend.

’’Joan, I’m leaving you.” she declared, and Joan felt her heart drop. Everything that she has been building up so far seemed to be crumbling thanks to that one sentence.

’’What do you mean?” Joan asked, her mouth going dry. Obviously, she knew what Holly meant, but she didn’t feel like believing it.

Holly let out a bitter chuckle. ’’I mean I can’t do this anymore. I need someone that can actually provide for me.”

Joan didn’t even contemplate why a cardiologist felt like she needed to be provided for, her only thought was somehow stopping this shitfest, grabbing onto the only sense in her life and not letting her go.

’’I can do that.” She was faintly aware how desperate her voice sounded, but she couldn’t care. ’’I could take on some more jobs, maybe ask for a higher wage…I could even give you the tips, I get a lot of tips.”

’’I’m not just talking about the money.” Holly cut her off, her eyes going darker. ’’I have certain needs that aren’t getting satisfied.”

Joan frowned. What the hell was that supposed to mean? For all she knew, she was more than capable of satisfying Holly’s needs, in every sense of the word.

’’I’m not sure I follow…” she admitted softly, and the bitter laugh Holly let out at that made her stomach churn.

’’Of course you don’t.” Holly spat, and Joan shivered at her voice. It didn’t even sound like Holly anymore. She was talking to a complete stranger.

’’I’m saying that we’re on very different intellectual levels, and I’m losing my status for it. You’re…crouching under sinks while I’m saving lives, my parents think we’re a terrible match, and everyone else thinks so too.”

Joan didn’t even hear the rest of her explanation over the buzzing in her ears. She was shaking with anger; it wasn’t sadness anymore, it was pure rage.

’’We went to the same school.” Joan growled, her cheeks going red. ’’You could be crouching under sinks too.”

’’But I’m not. Because unlike you, I’m able to move on.” Holly snapped, causing Joan to raise an eyebrow.

’’What?”

’’You’re stuck in your own world, Joan.” Holly continued, her voice changing to an almost sad tone. ’’You don’t live. You just exist. You’re always satisfied with what you have, and you refuse to learn and step out of your comfort zone. I don’t think I can live with someone like that on the long run.”

So, life wasn’t logical. If it were, Joan and Holly would get married and have kids and live happily ever after.

But because life wasn’t logical, as Joan seemed to notice it day by day, her love has left her while stepping all over her, leaving Joan to sink deeper into the gray nothingness that dominated her life, fixing everything that was broken except for her heart, fucking tired and closeted housewives after she was done to take some of the aching edge off at least.

Life had no meaning, it has been proven again. It wasn’t logical, it was a mess, but there was still no reason for looking for a purpose in the chaos. You just let the tide take you because you have no control over anything. And true love? The one thing that might make it seem like it still had some meaning, some color and joy to it? That doesn’t exist either.

It took years and fixing a dripping faucet in a certain household with three women living together for Joan to finally change her view of it all, and for good this time.


	5. Strategy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are certainly bumps in the road, even when it seems the worst is behind their backs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're done with the introductions, so now we're jumping onto linear storytelling! :D
> 
> This chapter doesn't have too much plot, but I did warn you all about it not being a very quick story lmao
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated, as always!

Freddie rolled onto her back with a tired huff, wincing at the ache that shot through her neck and shoulders. She has been hunching over her sketchbook for almost en entire hour now, but all she managed to scribble down was a rough sketch, something that didn’t quite looke intelligible so far.

’’My brain is fried.” she muttered to Regina who just arrived back from their kitchenette, balancing two mugs of steaming tea, handing one over to Freddie.

’’No need to worry about it.” Regina said, and the bitter tone in her voice made Freddie perk up instantly.

’’There won’t be a boutique to have a logo for.”

Freddie sat up cross-legged, warming her aching wrist against the mug. It broke her heart to see Regina so sad, head bowed down and eyes full of worry and with dark circles under them. The blonde was up day and night, phoning around for the hope they might find the right place where they could open her dream boutique, with no luck so far.

’’Still nothing?” Freddie asked softly, and Regina shook her head with a deep sigh.

’’Nothing.”

They obviously couldn’t afford a completely new place, what with the tiny amount of money they had from Freddie’s few ’gigs’, as she called those awful requested jobs she had sometimes, and from waitressing in a nearby diner. Nearly not enough to kick off Regina’s dreams; she knew, realistically, that they had to settle for renting the cheapest place from someone, and while it was definitely not ideal for kickstarting a fashion line, it was still better than nothing. But every single offer she got just turned her off of the idea completely; old, nearly crumbling shops in the seediest and most hidden areas in Kensington. There was no way anyone would stumble into a boutique that was hiding in a dark alley way.

’’You know, I thought this was going to go so smoothly.” Regina chuckled bitterly, leaning back in their old, ratty couch, that creaked in protest under her weight. It was only a matter of time until it would inevitably collapse.

’’I noped the fuck out of dentistry, because I knew fashion is my dream. I got accepted to the school, I was sailing without a problem, I have a fresh, crunchy degree in designing, and yet, no one is banging on my door so they could wear my clothes on the catwalk.”

She swore a little under her breath as she burned her lips with the hot tea. God, how much she wanted to throw the mug away and smash it against the nearest wall. Anything and anyone was way over her tolerance-treshhold nowadays. Except for Freddie and Brianna.  
Regina was immensely grateful for having such a wonderful girlfriend as Brianna, and such a wonderful friend as Freddie. Without them, she wouldn’t have even gotten that far.

’’I thought I could set my foot so easily. But no one seems interested in my clothes out of the blue. Everyone wants me to prove myself, that I’m able to uphold a boutique and sell stuff. It’s all about touching the people of the streets first, before trying to charm the big dogs.” She rolled her eyes softly, blowing on her tea, having learned from her previous mistake.

’’But you agree with this mentality.” Freddie reminded her softly, and Regina couldn’t help but smile. Freddie was truly adorable, always so full of optimism despite the knowledge that if Regina doesn’t manage to come through with opening the boutique, then Freddie’s dreams of kickstarting her career as an actual graphic artist and not just a sad portray-painter would crumble as well. She would never be angry at Regina for not being able to snatch that oppurtinity. Everytime Regina was feeling down, she could still count on Freddie’s sunshine to light up her world.

’’I do.” She admitted, her lips curling into another smile. That was her whole plan, actually: designing clothes in all shapes and sizes, not wanting to exclude anyone. She was so getting fed up with ’perfect’ clothes for ’perfect’ people. If there was one thing Regina was one-hundred percent determined about, is that she wanted to design clothes for real people, not models. Of course, that kind of limited her chances of ever getting them on the catwalk, especially with the biggest agencies that still couldn’t let go of the narrative that you are not a human being if you are not a size zero, but she was very much stubborn about that part.

’’It’s a lovely thought, and this is what I want to do. I just…I kind of feel like everything is a little hopeless at this point.”

Freddie scrambled up off the floor, coming to sit next to Regina, frowning when the couch made a sound like one of its legs was about to snap. She gently wrapped an arm around Regina’s shoulders, careful not to spill tea on her.

’’It’s not hopeless.” she said softly, giving her an encouraging little squeeze. ’’We’ve gotten this far. You’re full of so many amazing ideas, there’s no way that the people wouldn’t love it.”

Regina smiled, squeezing Freddie’s hand softly. ’’What would I do without you?”

’’Am I interrupting something?”

They didn’t even hear the turn of the spare key in the lock, and now they almost jumped out of their skin when Brianna suddenly appeared in the doorway.

’’You scared the shit out of me.” Regina chuckled, laying her palm over her quickly beating heart. Brianna laughed softly as she walked over to them, leaning down to drop a kiss against Regina’s lips.

’’I didn’t realize I was that scary.” She murmured, turning to Freddie, giving her a kind smile.

’’Hello, Freddie.”

’’Hi.” Freddie greeted her, trying to ignore the blush on her cheeks. She knew she was inappropriate as hell; these girls were her best friends, and they were dating each other, for god’s sake! But Freddie was just human, after all, meaning she couldn’t exactly lie to her heart when she realized she developed a massive crush on Regina first, then on Brianna. As if one taken woman wouldn’t be enough. It’s not like she was jealous whenever Brianna came over to their flat to spend the weekend with Regina; not in the traditional way, at least. She didn’t want them to break up, no, they were truly a dream couple, Freddie just kind of…hoped, that there would be place for a third party. Which was so stupid and wrong, she knew that, Brianna and Regina definitely didn’t seem like the kind of people that would comfortable with a poly relationship, especially with her, and Freddie had to respect that. That didn’t mean her always romantic little heart didn’t ache a bit.

’’Have you found a place yet?” Brianna asked, seating herself on the couch. Both Freddie and Regian felt a little offended that the couch creaked under their weight, but not under Brianna’s. Lanky bastard.

’’Just the usual.” Regina chuckled, idly playing with Brianna’s fingers as they held hands. ’’Shops that are no doubt owned by the Albanian mafia and are used for money laundering.”

Brianna laughed softly, pressing a kiss onto her forehead.

’’I’m pretty sure it’s gonna work out.”

’’We don’t really have the money.” Regina sighed, leaning her full weight back against Brianna. ’’And nothing works out without money.”

’’Maybe we could ask Matt to raise our wages in the diner.” Freddie suggested. ’’Maybe we could try some night shifts here and there.”

’’I’m pretty sure Matt would raise our wages if we gave him a blowjob, but I don’t think any of us is up for that. That is the only way to get a raise with that old fart.” Regina replied bitterly, scrunching her nose up in disgust.

They were sitting in silence for a little while, contemplating what to do. Brianna’s heart truly ached for them; Regina fought tooth and nail to fulfill her dreams, and then something as mundane as money will get in her way.

’’I could help you out.” Brianna offered after a while, causing both Regina and Freddie to whip their head around at the same time, in an almost comical manner.

’’The university pays well.” She admitted, blushing a little. She felt really bad about the fact her lover and her friend were struggling so much, while she barely started giving lectures and was already paid better than Regina or Freddie.

’’Surely not that well.” Regina protested. ’’You worked hard, to get there, dr. May, I’m not letting you waste your first few payments on us.”

’’It wouldn’t be wasting it.” Brianna countered, looking at Freddie for help, but she seemed just as mortified as Regina did.

’’Look, we could all put together what we have. I want to help you out.”

’’You know I hate it when I can’t be independent.” Regina argued, clearly intent on trying to talk Brianna out if. She wanted this to become a reality, of course she did, but she would hate the feeling of climbing up on Brianna’s back while her girlfriend wouldn’t be getting much out of it; she had no financial interest in that boutique, it would matter to Regina and Freddie, since they would be the ones associated with it, not her. What kind of leech Regina would be if she accepted Brianna’s money and then acted like she achieved this on her own accord?

’’You are still independent, I’m just helping.” Brianna reasoned with her. ’’And as I said, we would all be putting money into it. It’s not just my wage, it’s yours and Freddie’s too. I love you, but I’m not that stupid.” Brianna laughed, and Regina stuck her tongue out at her playfully.

’’Well, it doesn’t sound too bad.” Freddie stated after a few moments of quiet consideration. ’’We really cannot let your dreams go to waste, Regina.”

’’Your dreams, too.” Regina reminded her softly, and Freddie blushed, that adorable, light pink color that Regina came to really enjoy seeing. ’’You always brush your own importance aside. You would be the one to design the logo, and you would be in charge of the promo. Don’t diminish your role in it.”

’’Awh, yeah, that…is not coming along too smoothly either.” Freddie told Brianna, glancing at the sketchbook that was still lying on the floor in a sad heap. ’’I’m usually so full of ideas when it comes to creating, but now I’m completely fucked.”

’’Maybe I could help with that too.” Brianna offered. ’’I mean, the students that I’m teaching are just a few years younger than me, I think I could get to them easily. We could make flyers or something, and I could hand them out.”

’’You really are a genius.” Regina grinned, kissing her cheek with adoration, and Brianna chuckled.

’’Guess I’m a professor for a reason.”

’’We still have some problems left, though.” Freddie chimed in, looking over the living room with a sour expression on her face.

’’The rent on this place is high as hell. Even if we ’put everything together’ like you said, most of it would still drain out on the rent. It’s such a nice idea, but I don’t think we can avoid taking on a loan.” She visibly shivered at the idea; she wasn’t very good at Maths, but she knew exactly paying that back would be a bitch, especially if –she hoped it wouldn’t happen, but she still felt like they had to take it into consideration- the boutique, and then Regina’s fashion line wouldn’t be succesful enough to bring enough money to the table.

’’Reg, you’re gonna kill me for saying this, but I guess I can help with that too.” Brianna said with a giddy smile, and Regina groaned.

’’We’re becoming your sugar babies with Freddie at this point. What are you suggesting?”

’’You know, I still live in an old dorm room. And while I have a lot in common with the students, I guess it’s a little too much.” She laughed, shaking her head at the memories of listening to her students tripping on weed for the first time in the room next to hers.

’’And you know, the more people the rent is divided in between, the less it is.”

Regina and Freddie gasped at the same time, and Brianna couldn’t help but laugh again at their expressions.

’’Are you saying that you want to move in with us?” Regina asked, her heart fluttering happily inside her chest. She always dreamed of living together with Brianna, and while the circumstances weren’t exactly ideal for three people in the same flat, at least that dream seemed to be coming true.

’’Yes.” Brianna replied, grinning when Regina all but flew into her arms. Freddie was practically glowing as she smiled gratefully at Brianna, and the latter couldn’t help but reciprocate the sunny smile.

’’We’re gonna work together, as a team.” Brianna said, voice full of sincere determination.

’’We’re all gonna make it.”


	6. First Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They seem to be getting on the right track.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a little bit of smut in this, so watch out if you don't like that!

There was an occassion when Regina woke up to hearing some ominous scratching on the walls, which made her scramble up right away, only to stare a tiny mouse right in the face as it happily munched on the tapestry. Honestly, in this godforsaken flat, it wasn’t even that big of a suprise. Regina just groaned and got up to shoo the animal out before it could eat the entire house away from above their heads.

Sometimes she woke up to the sound of Freddie making tea in the kitchenette, humming and sometimes literally singing. Well, that one was much more pleasant that realizing a mouse was in the process of demolishing the walls –Freddie had a really nice singing voice, actually, Regina could listen to it for hours- but not at six in the morning.

On an absolutely horrifying occassion she woke up to bed bug bites, only to become even more awake to the sound of Freddie screaming, no doubt discovering the insects herself.

Sometimes she woke up to a throbbing pain in her lower back; her mattress was an absolute nightmare, hard and bumpy and no doubt the one thing that is going to be responsible for Regina’s spine injury somewhere in the near future.

This time, she woke up to a quite pleasant feeling; no mices, no bed bugs, no singing at way too early in the morning, and no ache in her back.

She woke up to the feeling of slightly calloused fingers pressing lightly against her clit, rubbing it slowly, almost lazily. Regina let out a soft groan, cracking one eye open to see Brianna hovering above her with an almost michievous grin on her face.

’’Good morning, Princess.” She purred, leaning down to nuzzle Regina’s neck, nosing along the soft skin.

’’Did you sleep well?”

’’The waking is much better.” Regina croaked, voice hoarse with sleep and building arousal. Brianna chuckled softly, letting her fingers trail down from Regina’s clit to her entrance, teasing around it until Regina started trembling, her thighs falling further apart.

’’Oh, you’re definitely awake.” Brianna mused, pressing one finger in slowly, and Regina let out a soft gasp. She reached up to pull Brianna down into a kiss, but her girlfriend pulled away with a frown.

’’I won’t kiss you, your morning breath is hideous, especially if you drank the night before.”

They had a few beers last night to celebrate Brianna moving in with them, and Regina couldn’t deny she did transform into a little bit of a stink bomb, though that didn’t stop her from pouting.

’’You’re so shallow.” She whined, and Brianna laughed softly. ’’If you were a good girlfriend, you would kiss me now too.”

’’Shut up.” Brianna snickered, and Regina’s lips curled into a dangerous little smirk.

’’Make me.”

Brianna grinned, then pushed another finger inside, hooking them until they were sitting neatly against Regina’s sweet spot, making the blonde gasp.

’’I hardly think this is going to help me shut up…” She moaned, rolling her hips against Brianna’s hand as she started pumping her with her fingers.

’’At least you will stop insulting me.”

Freddie stacked the tray with three steaming mugs of tea and as many biscuits she could find – she hoped they didn’t expire…could biscuits even expire?- humming softly under her breath as she padded out of the kitchenette. She struggled a bit with balancing everything, but she was determined to manage. So far, she only needed two deliver two mugs of tea for Regina and herself, but Brianna was here now too, and Freddie wanted to feel her as welcome as posssible.

She blushed a little upon imagining Regina and Brianna sleeping soundly in their bed. Freddie wondered what kind of position they would sleep in. She was pretty sure Regina liked to be a little spoon, with Brianna tangled all around her like a spider.

_Stop thinking about stuff like this, you idiot._

Freddie sighed, shaking her head a little as if to clear it from her weird romantic thoughts. It was so inappropriate, they were her friends, and they were dating each other for god’s sake! Why couldn’t she stop pining after them, why the hell did she need to fall for two women who are in love with each other, but not her!?

She took a deep breath, calming herself. There she was again, bringing down her own mood despite promising herself she won’t do that. She continued walking towards Regina’s room after a few seconds of breathing exercise, concentrating hard not to spill the tea or drop the biscuits.

The door was closed, but Freddie didn’t really have a free hand to knock with: she was pretty sure there were people that were able to balance a full tray with one hand, but she wasn’t one of them, so she kicked the door a few times instead. No answer. Maybe they were still sleeping, Freddie thought. Maybe she should just sneak in quickly and put the tray down before quickly escaping with her own mug. Who knows when these two will wake up to come out for breakfast, she sure as hell wasn’t gonna wait until her own tea goes lukewarm.

She should have known better, really; she was about to open the door to a couple’s room, but well. Freddie was anything if not rash. She pushed the handle with her elbow until the door opened the crack, and then she managed to push it fully open.

Freddie almost dropped the tray upon finding Brianna knuckles-deep in Regina, who was moaning happily until the point she spotted Freddie, then she let out an ungodly scream.

Freddie put the tray down quickly before she could cause more damage, then turned around in a flash, closing the door behind herself and running to hide in the kitchen again. Fuck. Fuck. She should have known they were fucking. Now she managed to piss them both off. What a lovely welcome for Brianna indeed, being walked in on during her first morning here.

Freddie buried her face in her hands, whining softly. She hated the fact that besides the embarrassment, she felt a little aroused too. This fucking bullshit again, lusting over her friends like a creep. She wanted to slap herself for being such a loser.

She wished she could just disappear when she heard socked feet padding towards the kitchen, even more so when Brianna was standing before her, smiling down at her like nothing happened.

’’I’m so sorry…” Freddie choked, her face going the color of a well-cooked lobster. ’’I didn’t mean to, I…”

’’It’s okay.” Brianna shushed her softly, giving her shoulder a little squeeze that had Freddie’s head spinning. ’’It happens.”

’’Are you not mad?” She checked carefully, and Brianna shook her head with a hearty laugh.

’’Not really. I mean, you did interrupt, but that’s fine.”

Except, not really, but Brianna wasn’t going to tell Freddie that the fact Freddie accidentally voyeured over them turned both her and Regina on so much, that the blonde came seconds after Freddie closed the door behind her, and Regina didn’t even get to push her own fingers inside Brianna, she was gone from just a few touches against her clit. 

Not the kind of thing you want to tell your friend when you just moved in with her, right?

’’I was thinking we could go for hunting for a place for the boutique.” Brianna said, deliberately turning her back on Freddie to look for the milk in the fridge, so she couldn’t see how red her face was. ’’I don’t have classes today.”

Freddie’s eyes lit up a little. She finished the logo yesterday, suddenly being hit with such a sudden burst of motivation, that she just kept creating and creating until she designed the flyers too, though they had to wait to hand those out until they find the right place. Freddie really hated this, but…there was a big chance her happiness over having both of her crushes so close managed to make her this inspired.

’’That sounds great! We’re really doing this, aren’t we?” Freddie asked, practically glowing, and Brianna’s heart swelled as she looked at her bright smile, unabashed, without covering her teeth.

’’Yes. Do you have anything for today? You could come with me, two pairs of eyes see better.”

Freddie blushed softly. ’’I don’t, not really. But Regina could go with you…?”

’’She took a shift today in the diner.” Brianna explained, a little disappointed that Freddie seemed to be backtracking. 

’’Oh, right.” Freddie said softly, her lips curling into another smile. ’’I’ll happily come with you, darling.”

Regina watched from the window as Brianna and Freddie walked away, and she couldn’t help but smile. Freddie was so tiny compared to Brianna, it made Regina’s heart melt. She didn’t really know what the hell has gotten into her, but she realized that she started to have feelings that she didn’t even know were possible; she was in a committed relationship, and yet, she couldn’t stop thinking about Freddie. But it wasn’t like cheating, like falling out of love with Brianna, she loved her with all her heart, but suddenly, she felt like she could share that heart between two people. She has been always fascinated by Freddie, but the fact that she was dating Brianna always held her back from acting on her feelings. But those feelings just kept growing stronger the more time they spent together, and at the same time, her love for Brianna never diminished. Maybe she could be in love with two people at the same time, she mused.

And for some reason, she thought that Brianna might feel the same way.

Brianna was like a damn businesswoman, Freddie could tell. She was negotiating, haggling, charming her way through, and what took months for Regina only took about a day for Brianna; they found a place, in the city center, nothing too fancy, an old vegetable shop, and the owner was quite happy about her shop not getting demolished even if she wouldn’t be there anymore to keep it up.

’’I can’t keep working here, I’m not exactly young.” She chuckled, pushing a cup of tea into both their hands. ’’But I don’t want it gone, you know? It’s like a child to me in a way, I’d hate to see it just crumble down without anyone trying to keep it up in a way.”

’’And there’s no one, who would like to continue with the business? Or any other offers?” Brianna checked, and Freddie was honestly amazed. She had no idea what kind of people Regina has been trying to negotiate with, but they definitely got luckier than she ever was while on the hunt. Maybe Brianna was their lucky star.

The old lady told them that no one seemed to care about the shop besides them, and Freddie and Brianna shared a happy, knowing look.

Maybe it seemed too good to be true, but it definitely looked like they were getting on the right track.


	7. Works

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't just fall into your lap like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, a more light-hearted chapter! A little short, but I definitely had fun writing it!

The little vegetable shop didn’t show too much on the outside either, but the inside was truly remarkable, if you can call a trashpile that.

Obviously, Regina was over the moon- they have finally found a damn place, something she has been hunting for for months- but she was pretty sure the mold on the walls was anything but healthy. And this place used to be a vegetable shop!

Neither Brianna nor Freddie could be blamed for not realizing the state of the place; it only became clear when they started moving everything out, and with every removed table, a new monstrosity showed up. Now it was pretty much clear why no one wanted to take the business from the old lady; they didn’t want to bother cleaning up the mess she left behind. Collateral damage, though, Regina has thought, because they finally had a place, the price wasn’t as outrageous as they imagined it would be, and it was in the city center, meaning there was a bigger chance for people actually trying to find it once the renovation was done.

Oh, that.

That one is going to be a pain in the ass, they could already tell.

’’I can feel the spores taking root in my lungs.” Regina winced, staring at the corner in distaste. Brianna nodded, scrunching her nose up when a strange smell hit her nose, no doubt a rotten vegetable left behind somewhere.

’’I don’t like to think people were buying food from here.” She said, shuffling around to try and locate the source of the smell. Freddie did it for her instead, shrieking in disgust when she managed to step right into a gooey mess of rotten onion.

’’What have I done to deserve this?” She whined, trying to wipe the bottom of her shoe with a tissue, but she only managed to have even that stuck to her boots. She let out another sad little whimper before deciding there was nothing to be done about it.

’’The old hag was tricky.” Regina huffed, putting her hands on her hips as she raked her eyes over the shop with a frown. ’’The rent may be quite decent, but the renovation is gonna cost us a fortune! She knew exactly how beaten down this place was, that’s why she didn’t dare charge higher!”

’’It’s gonna be okay.” Brianna said softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close until Regina relaxed against her side. ’’We’re gonna work together as a team, and we’re gonna get everything done in no time. Remember, you’re not alone. We have our combined salaries, we’ll be fine.”

Regina sighed softly, lolling her head back against Brianna’s shoulder. It sounded so nice and simple, something straight out of a fairytale; the three musketeers joining their forces and making their dreams come true. But was it really that simple?

’’We’re gonna need to repaint the walls.” Freddie announced, poking at the mouldering paint, frowning as a piece of plastering fell onto the floor with a sad little thud.

’’Any color ideas?” She asked, turning to Regina. The blonde hummed, looking around again. She closed her eyes for a second, picturing her dream boutique.

’’Light pink.” She said eventually, and Brianna chuckled softly.

’’Why am I not surprised?” She teased, and Regina lightly swatted at her arms, though she was grinning too.

’’Oh, hush, you. What can I say? Pink is the superior color.”

’’I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear this.” Brianna winced, pressing a quick kiss onto Regina’s cheeks to take the edge off her words.

’’Light pink sounds lovely.” Freddie chimed in, causing Regina to grin in triumpth, and Brianna to roll her eyes with a fond little smile.

’’Much better than this…darlings, what kind of color is that even supposed to be!?” Freddie gasped, shaking her head at the walls like they did something particularly nasty. Well, they did, nearly making the artist in Freddie cry.

’’Probably green, in its better days.” Brianna hummed, though frankly, she wasn’t sure about that.

The works here are going to be fun, that was for sure.

They were at the shop every damn weekend to make it look like something that was fit to accomodate humans in it. If Regina had to work a shift at the diner, Freddie and Brianna still came to work on it; if Freddie was at the diner, then Regina and Brianna did. There was no slacking here. They had to fix everything quickly, so Regina could have her dream boutique as soon as possible.

They started out with tidying, meticulously scrubbing every surface until it gleamed in the sunlight. There really was no better word to describe the place than ’dirty’; they had the suspicion the old lady didn’t like cleaning too much.

Removing the cobwebs was Brianna’s job, since she was the only one tall enough to actually reach them from the upper corners, and Freddie made it explicitly clear she will immediately have a heart attack if she has to so much as look at anything that have to do with spiders. Just tidying took an entire day, from the early hours of the morning to the evening, and all three of them felt near collapsing once they were finished. The shop was shining like a little diamond by the time they were done, every single corner so clean you could have eaten from the floor.

They trusted Freddie with the painting mostly, especially after Brianna arrived with a bucket of orange paint, claiming it was pink. Freddie and Regina gave her a lecture about colors and then confirmed she must be color blind, so Brianna felt it was better if she lets the other two deal with the more artistic side of renovating.

Freddie looked truly adorable in her paint-stained overalls, tongue poking out from between her lips as she concentrated on getting it perfect; a true artist creating, Regina has joked, and it wasn’t far from the truth. Getting that degree wasn’t for nothing, now was it?

Painting everything took another couple of days; in the end, they all looked ridiculous, baby pink (yes, actually baby pink after Freddie strodded out to buy the right color, not orange) paint covering them from head to toe. Brianna even had some in her hair, which definitely didn’t fail to make Regina and Freddig giggle like a bunch of schoolgirls.

’’We’re gonna need some furniture.” Regina declared. The shop was now starting to look like an actual shop rather than a danger zone, but it was very far from being complete. Regina and Freddie worked together on dreaming up the complete interior design: nothing too harsh to scare the costumers off, baby pink walls and white furniture, but popping enough to get their attention. Freddie actually drew a sketch of how it would look like once it’s done, and Regina was already in love with it.

’’Now that we definitely can’t afford.” Freddie said with a sad little tone, looking almost guilty, like it was somehow her fault. Between the rent on the shop and their own flat, buying buckets of paint and detergent, there was no way they could have enough money for buying brand new furniture, even with their combined salaries and all three of them working themselves done to the bone; Brianna substituted for as many other professors as possible, Regina and Freddie took longer shifts, and Freddie took on some more humiliating portray-painting jobs.

Thankfully, their resident genius Brianna had a solution to that too.

’’Why don’t we just get old furniture from home, and paint them?”

’’We don’t have spare furniture.” Regina protested, not feeling like baring down their ratty little flat even more, but Brianna shook her head with a soft smile.

’’That’s not what I meant. I could go over to my parents’, and get some stuff down from the attic. I could ask around for a few friends, see if they have anything.”

And thus, the ’’let’s collect as many old, but preferably barely used furniture as possible” mission was launched.

Brianna and Freddie both spent hours up their parents’ attics, looking for things they could use. Regina wasn’t slacking either, asking literally every friend and collegue from the diner if they had a commode to spare.

The girls carried the smaller ones inside, while Freddie’s and Brianna’s fathers and male friends helped them out with larger pieces. Regina was absolutely awestruck: the place, as she imagined, was soon coming alive. It was obvious it wasn’t exactly a designer shop, and the furniture was old just painted over with a generous amount of white paint, but it was building up. 

After long months of strenuous work, cleaning up and painting and planning, the boutique –Prime Jive, as Regina called it despite Freddie’s protests that it wasn’t a great name- was done.

’’I cannot believe this.” Regina said, honestly. She waited for someone to pinch her awake any second, but it didn’t happen; this was real. The thing she has been aching for in her entire life, was here, right in front of her. 

She couldn’t quite help it when happy tears welled in her eyes, nor when they trickled down her cheeks as Brianna and Freddie hugged her from both sides, enveloping her in a warm, loving embrace.

They have gotten so far; there really was no backing down anymore, was it?


	8. Celebration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After so much agony, time for some cheer and the celebration of the opening of Prime Jive: things take an interesting turn that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the pause, I'm back! There's a little smutty surprise at the end of the chapter, so warnings for that (though it's not very explicit).

Regina expected to wake up, to be pinched until she was sitting in her bed in her old dorm room, groaning as she realized she forgot to memorize the mechanics of non-intravenous conscious sedation even though Mr. Cook kept chewing on her ears about it; she expected to glance to the side and see her textbook open on the bedside drawer, an illustration of a molar glaring back at her, taunting her for ending up at a place she never wanted to, submitting to her father instead of standing up against him and following her dreams. She expected to be still studying dentistry, exhausted and depressed and aimless.

But none of this happened: Regina wasn’t dreaming, she was very much awake, looking around the Prime Jive, her heart swelling with unabashed pride. After long months of work, tears and blood and sweat being spilled (methaphorically speaking, of course, though there was sweat when they carried the furniture, and there were tears and some blood when poor Freddie stepped onto a nail), the boutique was done and ready. The thing Regina has been dreaming of ever since she was a kid, was right here, with soft baby pink walls and lovely white, antique furniture, the first clothes designed by Regina hanging off the hampers. It wasn’t a lot, between constant renovating and slaving away in the diner Regina didn’t have enough time to make too many clothes, but what was done was here, proudly fluttering in the breeze when the door was opened. She has started designing and creating them when she was still in med school, sometimes forgetting to sleep at all, spending the entire night sewing and cutting and bleaching, until the first waves of the morning sun poured in through the cracks of the curtain. She mostly made dresses and skirts, but she managed to squeeze a few blouses in, and though her very first clothing line may not have been very impressive, it was done, and it was set up in her boutique, ready to be tried on by the first costumers.

The logo was finally done, with Freddie getting a sudden surge of motivation, thanks to seeing the entire boutique coming alive under her hands; she spent nights creating, redrawing and coloring, her face covered in kohl and paint, her back and wrists aching, but finally, the paper was shining brightly with a phoenix holding a pair of stilettos in its beak, an intricate flower pattern framing the emblem beautifully. It wasn’t too flashy (Regina specifically forbade Freddie from doing it that way, and remained a firm no on the idea of the phoenix wearing the stilettos, though Freddie found it quite hilarious), but it was beautiful and just colorful enough to grab the attention of the passer-bys.

Brianna kept her promise of spreading the word, finishing every lecture with handing out the flyers with the logo, the address, and the opening date on it. Soon, the entire university was flooding with the flyers, and they have found themselves having to make more and more copies. It seemed like that finally, after so much agony and desperation, it was going to work out.

The ball was set to rolling: getting the permit and the name certificate was a little bit of a longer process (bureaucracy, Brianna has scoffed), especially since it was Regina’s first time opening a business, but they were adamant, seeking out legal and financial advice. That part was another thing Brianna handled a little better, being the one with the best knowledge with numbers and probably with the most rational way of thinking, making sure they weren’t going to get screwed over or stripped off their rights or money. And eventually, these steps were completed too, and Regina was holding up the name certificate with a proud smile.

Prime Jime was now officially, legally existent, there for everyone to see, ready to open.

But first, obviously, a celebration was in order.

Old college friends and collegues from the diner swarmed in immediately, offering to bring drinks and make this one a party of the century, despite Regina’s protests that it didn’t have to be a big deal, really, a few bottles of champagne and some sandwiches would be more than enough, but those protests were shot down. You finally opened your dream boutique, bitch, live a little!- as they have said, and okay, that was true.

Prime Jive was clearly a little bit too tiny for that many people, and Regina brought all the clothes back to the little secluded area they assigned as the storage room (it was just a tiny room, really) to make sure nothing will be spilled on the handmade clothes that she so precariously worked on. It would be quite the shame if she couldn’t sell anything right on the opening day because someone ruined the clothes with champagne.

’’How are you feeling, lovie? I hope you’re proud.” Freddie giggled, already a little tipsy, her cheeks rosy from the alcohol, and Regina had a hard time containing herself not to kiss that blush right off her cheeks.

Regina sighed happily, looking around the shop. It was a little bare withouth the clothes, but it was hers, theirs, it was alive, swarming with friends and family, and Regina would have lied if she said that seeing that much support didn’t bring a few tears to her eyes.

’’I’m very proud.” Regina said, smiling when she felt Brianna’s arms snake around her waist, pressing a kiss onto her cheek. ’’And I’m also grateful.” She continued, looking up at Brianna, then Freddie, shooting them a wide smile.

’’It would never have worked out without you two. I would still be hunting for an ugly, shady place, and would have never gotten anywhere. But you two were all along for the ride, and you helped even more than you imagine. So, thank you. Both of you.”

She kissed Brianna on the lips, and Freddie on the cheek, making both of them blush and smile at her like she was the absolute center of their universe.

Brianna’s heart was fluttering happily as she looked at her girlfriend: she was glowing, swelling with pride, her eyes shining like a thousand stars. Brianna was so happy for her. She finally got what she wanted all along, worked herself down to the bone to achieve it, and heavens knows, she absolutely deserved to have her dreams come true. Brianna thought back on that depressed, grumpy blonde girl hunched on the bed their dorm room, wincing at the dry material in her textbook, smoking three packs of cigarette each day, and eyeing everyone warily, and she gave a soft chuckle. The change was evident: Regina was shining with happiness, looking healthier and more carefree, her eyes sparkling, her lips constantly curled into a smile. Here she was on Brianna’s arms, in her beautiful red dress, looking over the dream she has fought tooth and nail for and that she finally achieved proudly, and Brianna couldn’t resist pressing another kiss onto her soft cheek.

Freddie was beaming next to them, equally beautiful and happy: she fought so hard too, Brianna knew that. She heard all about the humiliating and awful jobs she was assigned, the harrassment, the desperation that she will never achieve anything in her life and will go down the drain as a nobody, forever grey and tired and hating the world around her. And yet, here she was now, giggling when people complimented the logo that she designed, patting her on the back and telling her that she could illustrate a children’s book, because damn that phoenix looked fantastic. She looked just as happy, more relaxed and filled out than when Brianna first met her: she was such a grey little mouse, scrawny and exhausted, the perfect companion to an equally frustrated Regina. And now she was radiating happiness, looking like a little ray of sunsine in her yellow dress, and Brianna felt that familiar twinge of emotion inside her chest.

She shouldn’t be thinking about that. She was in a relationship with Regina, and she was supposed to love her only, right? And yet, she couldn’t help but feel like she was able to share her heart between the two girls. Her love for Regina never diminished just because of her newfound feelings for Freddie: if anything, it only grew. It felt like she was born to be around these two people, holding them close and loving them forever, cherishing them exactly how they deserved to be cherished. But would they want that? What would Regina say if she told her she loved Freddie too? Surely she would break up with her immediately. And Freddie? She would freak out, she would think Brianna just wants a threesome, just wants to use her body to spice up her sex life with Regina and then discard her, throw her to the side like a used rag. It was better if she kept her mouth shut, if she tried to forget about Freddie and only focus on Regina how she was supposed to: an incredibly hard task with living with the both of them, but she was a damn professor, she was pretty sure she could handle it somehow.

It really was the party of a lifetime. Honestly, Freddie was surprised nobody called the cops on them.

Another waitress from the diner, Crystal, was literally standing on top of the cash register, wriggling around in an attempt of a dance (though if she was personating the mating dance of some exotic bird, then she was doing a fantastic job), and she was only wearing her pants and her bra. Freddie was now mentally patting herself on the back that she didn’t invite her parents, only her brother, Kareem. That was only so much they could handle.

Regina didn’t invite her parents, obviously, following Freddie’s example of only having her brother, Clark around. Freddie’s heart broke for her: her parents might have been tough cookies sometimes, but it was nothing compared to Regina’s. Cutting their child out of their life just because she wanted to be a designer instead of a dentist? Absolute bullshit, if Freddie was being honest.

She watched as Brianna and Regina were making out against the wall, the guests long forgotten. Freddie felt her cheeks heat as she watched Brianna’s hand squeezing Regina’s hip- god, her hands were so big, her fingers were so long, and Freddie was such a gay mess-, watched Regina tilting her head back to give Brianna better access to her neck. Great. She was daydreaming again, but she could blame it on the tremendous amount of alcohol in her system. Because drunk Freddie was horny, and she was definitely in love with both of her best friends, and sue her, but there was nothing she could do to stop that. She couldn’t will her brain, nor her heart, to shut up.

Her heart almost leapt out of her chest when Regina suddenly looked at her, an unrecognizable emotion swirling in her eyes. Freddie was crimson red, but she found herself unable to look away, her heart pounding as Regina kept looking at her, and…was that a smirk forming on her lips? Was Freddie hallucinating now? Did someone slip something in her drink? When Brianna pulled away from Regina’s neck to look at her, with the same expression Regina was wearing, Freddie was convinced it couldn’t be real.

’’Do you think Freddie is hot?” 

Brianna let out a squeak, looking up from where she was pressing kisses onto Regina’s skin.

’’What?”

Regina looked back at her, unable to stop that stupid mellow smile from spreading on her face. Fuck, she was so drunk, way too drunk: she would never start this conversation sober, but she was barely standing on her legs, and she was so happy and hazy, and all she could think about Brianna’s kisses and Freddie’s ample cleavage in that damn dress.

Brianna looked utterly confused, and Regina could only giggle. She didn’t even feel embarrassed: the alcohol completely made her lose all her composure.

’’I think she’s hot.” She admitted, hiding her face in Brianna’s neck, giggling. ’’Her boobs are huge.”

She heard Brianna let out another little sound, and when she looked up, she could see how red her cheeks were. She reached up to touch her heated face gingerly.

’’I saw you staring at her.” Regina slurred, and Brianna tensed. ’’I know you think she’s hot. I know…you…you love her, don’t you?”

Brianna spluttered, shaking her head, her eyes big and panicked, looking like a deer in the headlights. ’’No, Regina, I love you…”

’’I love you too.” Regina snorted, nuzzling Brianna’s neck. ’’And I love Freddie, and I want to fuck her and I know you do too.”

There was a pause, a tension in the air, and Regina –even through the alcohol-induced fog in her brain- was momentarily scared that she fucked everything up. Maybe she has misread the signs, and Brianna wasn’t feeling the same way she did. Maybe she got it all wrong, and now Brianna thinks Regina wants to cheat on her.

She opened her mouth to say something, to explain herself or play it off as a joke, but Brianna beat her to it.

’’Are you serious, Regina? Or is that just the alcohol speaking?” Brianna asked, cupping her cheeks. She didn’t look horrified, she didn’t look angry: there was a spark of excitement in her eyes, her lips twitching.

’’Because I do, I…I love her. And I love you. But I need to know if you’re serious.”

Regina nodded, stroking Brianna’s cheek. ’’I am. I am serious. I’ve been in love with her since we moved in together, but I never stopped loving you. I want both of you.”

It felt like a huge weight has been removed, like she was allowed to breathe again; she has been nursing this feeling inside for so long, keeping it hidden, locked away, for only herself to see, and now it was out, it was known, and Brianna wanted the same thing. The question was, did Freddie want it too?

She turned her head just as Brianna went back to kissing her neck, and she caught Freddie’s gaze. She was flushed, licking her lips as she watched them, and Regina felt herself grew flushed. She didn’t look away, and neither did Freddie.

’’She’s watching us.” Regina purred, and Brianna followed her eyes, taking the sight of Freddie in, standing there with her cheeks pink, fidgeting with her hands; she seemed positively hungry as she looked the smaller girl up and down.

’’Good.” Brianna breathed, and maybe, just maybe, she was drunker than she admitted too, because she dragged Regina over to Freddie before she could stop herself.

Everything was a blur: maybe they drank too much, or they just got too excited, but one moment they were having their celebratory drinks in the Prime Jive, and the next they were back in their flat, tearing off each other’s clothes and kissing each other like there was no tomorrow.

It wasn’t exactly gentle lovemaking; they waited for too long, wanted this for too long, and they were happy, floating on cloud nine, and they all wanted the same thing, so why the wait?

Regina was kissing Freddie sloppily, just barely able to catch her mouth as Brianna fucked her from behind, her fingers quick and merciless, jabbing straight into her G-spot. Freddie was tight around her own fingers, moaning and rolling her hips against her hand, her nails digging into Regina’s back desperately. She let out a beautiful whimper when Regina took her nipple into her mouth, sucking on it until it was sore, fucking Freddie at an almost animalistic pace, matching the one Brianna was thrusting into her with.

It felt scarily natural, like they have done this before, like they have been doing this for ages: Regina murmured quiet endearments to Freddie as she came, squeezing down around her fingers hungrily and crying out. Regina followed soon after, thrusting her hips back against Brianna’s hand and moaning, baring her throat to Freddie as she tossed her head back, and she latched on, sucking a mark right above her pulse point.

She was laying against the pillows, panting, watching idly as Freddie ate Brianna out, sloppy and hungry and impatient to finally taste her, and Brianna moaned loudly, louder than ever before, tugging on Freddie’s hair to keep her close.

They all but passed out in each other’s arms after, and the cuddling felt just as natural, with lanky Brianna lying in the middle, wrapping her arms around Freddie and Regina and hugging them close to her chest, and Regina and Freddie lacing their fingers together over her stomach.

No questions were asked that night: they just lived and loved in the moment, not even thinking about regret or insecurities.

Though something told them there was only a very slim chance of them regretting this.


	9. Rocky Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are never that simple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a filler chapter before we dive into more interesting waters; though this is neither as light-hearted as the earlier two chapters were.

It was almost ridiculous how natural it all felt.

Brianna expected the most awkward time of her life upon waking up and seeing Freddie and Regina lying next to her naked, expected guilt wash over her now that the effect of the alcohol was gone, but the only thing she felt was a warm solace, her heart fluttering happily as her eyes landed on them curled up against each other, snoring softly like two little kittens. She kissed first Regina, then Freddie on the forehead, and it still felt natural, like she was been waking up the both of them with kisses for ages now.

Freddie stirred awake, cracking one eye open, blinking up at Brianna coyly, a small smile tugging at her lips, and Brianna couldn’t resist kissing her again.

’’Good morning.” Brianna greeted her softly, chuckling when Freddie wrapped an arm around her neck to pull her in closer. ’’Did you sleep well?”

Freddie hummed in response, only burrowing closer, tucking her face away in the crook of Brianna’s neck. Regina reached over Freddie’s hip, sliding a hand up Brianna’s arm.

’’What time is it?” She slurred, voice groggy from sleep; her eyes were still closed as she blindly caressed Brianna and Freddie, clearly not feeling like leaving their bed just yet. Brianna squiented at the clock on the wall.

’’Just past nine.”

’’Shit!” Regina exclaimed, all sleep immediately leaving her. She jumped off the bed, nearly tripping over their discarded clothes on the floor.

’’Prime Jive should be open in 10 fucking minutes!”

That did it for Freddie, who sat up so quickly she nearly headbutted Brianna, scrambling off the bed hastily. She did trip over their clothes, muttering an exasperated ’’fuck” before she managed to gather her dress. There was no time for looking for an outfit, yesterday’s clothes had to make do.

The rush finally reminded Brianna that she was supposed to have a morning class, and she rolled out of bed with a sad whine, damning everyone who came up with the concept of morning classes. She felt more sorry for her students than ever before.  
The flat was crawling with panic by the time everyone managed to put on some clothes and brushed their hair hastily, trying to look like a human being despite feeling like one.

Brianna wanted to give a longer monologue, trying to encourage her lover(s?) on the opening day of Prime Jive, but she only had time to wish them good luck, kiss them quickly on the cheek before she drove away with full speed, hoping that she could still make it to her class in time.

They jumped out of the car at 9:09, and Regina opened the door with record speed. Sure, it was a little unlikely that people would swarm their boutique in the morning, but it was their first day, and it was important to make a good first impression. Opening later than it was advertised was a little bit of a dick move. Freddie got the clothes from the back room and put them out with record speed, kicking empty plastic containers behind the counter as a hasty attempt of tidying after last night’s party.

Regina leaned against the counter, panting. There was really no reason to brush her hair, it was already standing on end. Freddie didn’t look much better; Regina was pretty sure her dress was inside out.

’’God, what a rush.” Freddie chuckled, brushing her hair out of her face. Just as she finished the sentence, the little bell above the door rang, indicating a costumer has arrived.

’’Early bird.” Freddie mouthed before turning around, putting on her brightest smile. They agreed to sort of run the business together, switching each other behind the counter if one of them had a shift at the diner, or, like right now, both of them could be here to welcome the costumers. Even Brianna offered to stand in for them if she didn’t have classes.

’’Welcome to Prime Jive!” Regina chirped, standing beside Freddie. The elderly lady gave them a look, clearly taking in their slightly ragged appearance with a frown.

’’Who owns this shop?” She asked instead of greeting, and Regina felt her stomach churn at her tone. She decided to keep the smile on her face for now. This was the first day of Prime Jive, she couldn’t allow herself to be rude to a costumer even if the costumers were.

’’I do.” She said, straightening her back. The lady scrunched up her nose.

’’Aren’t you a little young to have a boutique? What are you, 17?”

Regina let out a forced laugh, hiding her hands behind her back that were balling up into fists. ’’I’m 26, actually. I just have a baby face.”

The woman looked around the shop, wearing that frown that seemed to have stuck to her face constantly.

’’Isn’t this dangerous to human health? It looks dirty.”

Well, they didn’t really have the time to clean up, but it was far from dirty. Freddie and Regina shared a look, and Regina could tell Freddie was thinking the same thing: they already stumbled upon a problematic costumer.

’’It is absolutely perfect to accomodate costumers.” Freddie chirped. The woman finally spared her a look, raising her eyebrows.

’’How can you tell?”

’’Quality control has been here yesterday afternoon. They found everything okay.” Regina explained. They were a little cranky about a spot on the wall that the paint couldn’t cover, but other than that, they gave them the green light.

Ms. ’’elderly white lady who knows everything better” didn’t feel like giving them a free pass, though.

’’This used to be a vegetable shop, didn’t it?” She asked, walking around the boutique. She reminded Freddie of a vulture, circling on the sky, looking for a corpse to dig her claws in.

’’It used to be, yes.” Regina said, frowning. Did this woman only come here to insult their boutique?

The woman muttered something under her breath, but didn’t elaborate. She held up a blouse, and finally she looked a little more satisfied.

’’What brand is this?” 

’’I made it, Ma’am.” Regina replied, feeling her chest swell with pride. ’’All clothes here are made by my two hands.”

She seemed impressed at least, humming as she run her hands over the smooth material.

’’Not bad. You’re surprisingly crafty for someone so pretty.”

Regina’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline. How the hell were these things mutually exclusive?

The woman has seen her confusion, and she gave a condescending little tut.

’’Oh, you know how that is. You pretty youngsters only care about partying. It’s good to see someone with values.”

She turned her back on them to skim through the skirts, and Regina looked at Freddie in utter disbelief.

’’I hate her.” She mouthed, and Freddie snorted softly before forcing another smile on her face, hopping to the woman’s side.

’’Let us know if you need help with anything.” She chirped, and the woman gave her a look like Freddie was an especially hideous insect. She didn’t even reply, just turned back to browsing.

Freddie gave Regina a look of desperation, and Regina shook her head. She wasn’t any wiser on why this woman was acting like she owned the world, and why she couldn’t spare them a kind word, but well. The costumer’s always right, huh? What fucking bullshit. Regina wanted to grab her by the scruff of her neck and throw her out, but she knew that would be the end of her boutique before it actually had the chance to propely exist.

The woman took the blouse and the skirt, not seeming too bothered about knocking a pile over, and Regina’s skin crawled as she watched her step aside like nothing happened. Freddie gritted her teeth as she showed her the way to the dressing rooms (it was actually a screen, but they had to make do with what they had), and of course the lady had to make a comment about that.

’’Why don’t you have real dressing rooms?” She frowned, looking at Freddie like it was specifically her fault.

’’We are a small business, Ma’am.” Freddie said in a honey sweet voice, trying to ignore the bile rising up in her throat. Who the hell was this woman to talk to them like that!? ’’Don’t worry, it’s just as closed as a ’real’ dressing room. No one can see inside.”

The woman scoffed and marched in, and Freddie’s smile immediately turned into a sour frown when she walked back to Regina.

’’What a fucking asshole.” She growled, and Regina chuckled, pulling her into a hug.

’’This is going to be a long day, I can already tell.” She sighed, giving Freddie a chaste kiss on the lips. She wasn’t sure if she was allowed to do that, they didn’t really have a talk about what happened last night, but Freddie just smiled, a beautiful pink blush suffusing her cheeks.

They separated in time (god knows what kind of hysterics would that woman burst into if she saw two women kissing –the horror!) as she ducked out from behind the screen. Freddie gently patted Regina on the back; it was better if she dealt with it. Regina had a shorter temper, and she was already boiling.

She sauntered over to the screen, smiling down at the woman.

’’May I help you?”

’’The zipper’s stuck.” The woman said, yanking on the skirt. ’’Call the blonde one over and tell her to help.”

Who the fuck are you to order us around like that, Freddie thought, but she just smiled all the same.

’’I could help. I’m right here.”

The woman snickered, looking her up and down. ’’I don’t want you to help.”

Freddie felt a familiar twinge in her chest, but she tried to ignore it.

’’I can help, I work here too.” She said through gritted teeth, and the woman nearly growled.

’’I don’t want an immigrant touching me.”

Oh. Yeah. Freddie could tell this was where it was going, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less. She swallowed thickly, blinking rapidly.

’’I’m not an immigrant.” She said as calmly as she could. ’’I’ve been living here for 10 years.”

’’Whatever.” The woman growled. ’’Just call the blonde here.”

’’I’m here.” Regina practically snarled, emerging from behind Freddie, unable to resist wrapping a protective arm around her shoulder. She glared at the woman, her eyes all but shooting arrows at her.

’’Would you please stop insulting my collegue?” 

’’I wasn’t insulting her.” The woman spat. ’’I just told her I didn’t want her to help.”

’’Right.” Regina said in a mocking tone. ’’Because you are a racist piece of shit!”

’’Regina!’ Freddie yelled, swatting her on the arm. But Regina saw red at this point; she was willing to knock this worm flat, damn the consequences.

’’What a lovely thing, insulting the costumers.” The woman huffed, dragging off the skirt and her pants back on, suddenly not caring about the modesty that she was so worried about when she saw the screen.

’’I’m going to make sure to tell everyone how you treat your costumers!” She dumped the rest of the clothes back on the floor and stormed out, slamming the door so hard behind her the shelves rattled.

’’Regina.” Freddie sighed, turning back to her. ’’You can’t lose your temper like that with the costumers.”

’’Oh, I was pretty polite.” Regina scoffed. Freddie shook her head, grabbing her hand and clutching it against her chest.

’’You don’t understand.” Freddie said softly. ’’This hag will go around town and tell everyone you called her a piece of shit. And she will blow up the details, she will claim an illegal immigrant works here, she will say the shop is dirty and there are no dressing rooms at all. She will make it look much worse than it is, she will lie and she will hold back everyone from coming here. We have to swallow.”

’’I’m not going to swallow people insulting you.” Regina perked up, cupping Freddie’s cheek.

’’I’m not going to let them.”

’’If you want to keep your boutique, we have to.” Freddie said, kissing Regina’s knuckles.

The rest of the day was spent in a sour mood, and to make things worse, no one else came into the shop.

Brianna only had to take one look at their faces to know they didn’t have a good day. She sighed deeply, sweeping them up in their arms and hugging them close.

’’That was fucking awful.” Regina whined, and Brianna shushed her gently. She was planning on a ’’what are we?” kind of conversation for tonight, but that obviously needed to be delayed.

’’It will get better.” Freddie chirped, ever the optimist, though her smile was definitely strained.

They were quiet for a while, just hugging, basking in each other’s comfort. Freddie frowned at the dripping sound she heard, looking up at Brianna questioningly.

’’Please tell me it’s not the faucet.”

Brianna groaned, rolling her eyes. ’’It is. It still is.”

Regina scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. Just what they needed after a day like that. That damn faucet has been dripping for days, and it was clear they couldn’t ignore it anymore.

’’Fantastic.” Regina huffed, slumping against Brianna.

’’If this continues, we will need to call a mechanic.”


	10. Repair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stupid faucet still hadn't stopped dripping...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter Joan Deacon ;)

For what it’s worth, being a mechanic probably wasn’t one of the most stressful jobs out there. At least, Joan never really felt like she needed to bend over backwards to help and please people; no one relied on her as much as they would on a doctor or a lawyer. She wasn’t saving or guarding lives, her responsibility wasn’t through the roofs. Sure, a gas leak could kill someone, so she had to be careful when fixing boilers or radiators, but she had steady hands and plenty of practice. No one was going to suffocate as long as Joan Deacon took care of their misbehaving household appliances.

She wasn’t exactly buzzing with nerves today either, comfortably strodding up the stairs to the ratty looking little flat, swaying her tool kit in her hand and chewing on her gum. It was just a dripping faucet, nothing out of the ordinary.

Joan thought back on the voice of the woman who called her, warm and soft-spoken, and she smirked a little. Wouldn’t be the first time coming to a place to fix something and getting laid in the process. There were more sexually frustrated housewives around this area than she expected. At least her needs were taken care of, even if the void Holly left behind couldn’t have been filled, not since she packed her stuff and walked out of Joan’s life for good, elegantly stomping over her self-esteem in the process. Her chewing gum turned bitter in her mouth at the thought of Holly, and she spat it out into a tissue with a frown. It has been years since she left, and she still managed to bring her mood down. At least when Joan was fucking someone, she could stop thinking about Holly for a few hours: she could concentrate on the most primal urges of the flesh, chasing her and her partner –or partners’, she would have lied if she tried to be coy about it and said it had never happened before- pleasure. Her mind was deliciously empty in those moments, no Holly, no reliving the same thing over and over, hearing her venomous words when she subtly told Joan she was beneath her in every way. Joan could let her body take control and shut everything else off. It was a blessing that she was able to do that.

Who knows, she might get lucky today. She’s just gonna use her old tricks and see if the woman falls for it. If not, then she will just collect the money and fuck off. Either way, she would be satisfied.

The talk about their relationship went much smoother than Freddie expected: she was a little scared that it was only a one-time thing, that neither Regina or Brianna were interested in her that way. It’s not like it hadn’t happened before, getting her hopes up and falling for women that only cared about her body and then practically kicked her out once morning rolled around. Obviously, kicking her out would have been a complicated process, since she lived here, but it could have still happened in a metaphorical way, with her friends giving her the cold shoulder and growing distant. Freddie wasn’t sure she would have been able to handle it if that happened: she loved them way too much.

But it didn’t happen. A few days after their first night together (and the disaster of Prime Jive’s opening day), Brianna sat them down to actually, seriously talk about where they stood now. Turned out, they all wanted the same thing. Freddie’s heart was fluttering happily when both Regina and Brianna admitted that they fell for her, and they fell hard, and as much as they tried to deny it, they couldn’t anymore. And there was no reason to resist their feelings anymore: they all wanted the same thing, they all loved and were insanely attracted to each other- why should they step back now?

Freddie always expected to wake up, that it was only a dream and they were still just friends, but it was reality, and she was pretty sure she has never been this happy in her entire life before; the people that she loved so much returned her feelings, and she got not only one, but two fantastic girlfriends off the bat. What was this is if not insane luck?

And luck they definitely needed, because so far, Prime Jive hadn’t proven to be very popular. In the two weeks it had been open for, costumers only rarely came. At first Regina was worried she would need to produce more clothes, but it didn’t seem like a realistic fear right now. She had other things to worry about, namely the fact it seemed like no one gave a flying fuck about Prime Jive and Regina Taylor’s handmade clothes.

As smoothly as it started, they seemed to have hitting a large bump in the road right now. But Freddie was an optimist, and she wasn’t going to give up so easily. She had her two girlfriends now, and despite everything else, she felt like she could take on the world: everything was bound to end up exactly how it was supposed to be, right?

Regina was sitting at her sewing machine, mostly just staring at the material with a frown –Prime Jive’s unsuccesful state definitely dampened her motivation for making clothes-, Brianna was preparing lunch and Freddie was absentmindedly scribbling in her notebook when the doorbell rang.

’’This must be the mechanic.” Freddie said, scrambling up off the floor, quickly wiping her face. ’’I’ll go get it, do I still have graphite on my face?”

Regina looked up from her half-way done dress and shook her head, and Freddie pranced out into the hallway to open the door. She was practically giddy that that damn faucet was about to be repaired; it has been dripping for weeks, an absolute fucking nightmare that literally kept them up at night, because they sure as hell couldn’t sleep from the constant annoying sound. Honestly, Freddie would do absolutely anything to make it stop.

She opened the front door with a bright smile, that immediately faltered when she spotted the woman standing in the doorway.

She was hot. No need to be all cute and subtle about it, because she was absolutely smoking hot, with her hair in a messy ponytail, tall and lean and muscular, wearing those overalls with such lazy confidence it made Freddie feel several inches smaller. She looked Freddie up and down without shame, giving her a gap-toothed little smile, and Freddie was suddenly in dire need of chugging a gallon of water. They threw jokes around with Brianna and Regina about a sexy female mechanic who would come and ask them to pay in nature like in porn (and they certainly didn’t get extremely aroused and jumped each other’s bones like a bunch of wild animals after), and Freddie was now about to pass out, because holy shit, her little wet fantasy was standing right in front of her holding that toolbox, and even that was sexy as hell.

’’Hey, I’m Joan Deacon. Am I at the right place?” The mechanic asked, finally snapping Freddie out of her thoughts. She felt her cheeks grow flushed as the woman looked her over again, and she was positively smirking now.

’’Yeah, of course! Come in.” Freddie croaked, painfully aware how small her voice sounded. Joan nodded politely before stepping inside, her shoulder brushing Freddie on the way, and Freddie could barely hold back a squeak.

’’I’m Freddie Bulsara, by the way.” She said quickly, lamely holding her hand out for Joan to take. Joan shook it, gentle but firm, and Freddie felt a little dizzy when their fingers touched. Lord, did that mechanic have long-ass fingers competing with Brianna’s…

Regina and Brianna had popped out to greet the mechanic, and Freddie was honestly relieved that they seemed to be just as taken aback. Brianna went pale, looking like she was going to collapse right there, and Regina was blushing, something she rarely did. It was good to know she wasn’t too easy, and she wasn’t the only one affected.

Joan introduced herself to them, using the same soft but firm grip on their hands and that smile which was a strange mixture of shy and utterly confident, and Freddie could see her girlfriends nearly gaping at her.

’’So, where’s that misbehaving faucet?” Joan asked, brushing a stray piece of hair that broke free out of her ponytail out of her face.

’’Follow me, please.” Brianna said softly, trying to inject some confidence in her voice, but the way she shrunk under Joan’s intent gaze gave her away. Joan followed Brianna into the bathroom, and Freddie and Regina shared a look when they spotted the mechanic unashamedly staring at Brianna’s ass.

’’She’s fucking hot.” Regina mouthed, and Freddie could only groan in response as they followed the other two into the bathroom.

Joan opened the little cabinet under the sink that was precariously cleaned off and emptied by them the day before so the mechanic wouldn’t have to bother with it, and what hid the pipes. She hummed thoughtfully as she poked and prodded at one of them, hunched over to see better.

’’Shouldn’t take too long.” She announced, pulling back to look up at the three women hovering above her curiously.

’’I think I could be done with it in about an hour.”

With that, she reached into her tool kit and fished around for a screwdriver, and why was that simple movement so bloody hot?

’’Would you like a cup of coffee or tea?” Regina offered, and she was batting her fucking eyelashes, looking like her brain was just working on sheer autopilot.

’’No, thank you.” Joan replied with a polite little smile before disappearing under the sink again, and her fantastic, firm ass was the only thing poking out. Not like they particularly minded that sight, though.

Brianna ushered them out gently and into the kitchen, throwing a ’’let us know if you need anything”, and a ’’we’ll be just in the kitchen, we don’t want to bother you” over her shoulder.

’’Tell me I’m not the only one who’s about to roll onto her back.” Brianna groaned, and hearing reserved, gentle Brianna stating her attraction so crudely told a lot.

’’Definitely not.” Regina said, and she sounded a little out of breath. ’’God, she could fix me anytime.”

’’Did you see her arms?” Freddie moaned, trying her best not to drool. ’’Those muscles, fuck. I’m pretty sure she could finger like an animal.”

Regina bit her lip to stifle a quite embarrassing little whimper at the mental image.

’’Isn’t this…weird?” Brianna asked, sounding a little bit more sober now. Regina and Freddie seemed confused, so she cleared her throat and explained herself:

’’I mean…we decided to be together, and now we’re ogling that woman.” She sounded awfully uncertain, and Regian couldn’t help but coo, standing on the tips of her toes to kiss her cheek.

’’It’s okay. We’re not exactly in a very conventional relationship, right? Besides, being in love doesn’t mean you have to be blind from now on.”

’’She’s right.” Freddie said softly, slithering against Brianna’s side, wrapping her arms around her middle. ’’It’s not like you haven’t ogled me when you were still with Regina.”

Brianna blushed, but her lips curled into a little smile. ’’You’re right.”

’’So, wanting erm, Joan….that’s her name, right? To step over us is absolutely normal, if you ask me.” Regina chimed in, causing both Freddie and Brianna to chuckle.

’’This is how porn starts, isn’t it?” Brianna teased, earning some of her confidence back now that she saw her girlfriends were just as gone as herself. ’’Are we gonna pay in nature?”

Freddie all but purred, leaning up to nuzzle her cheeks.

’’I would love to. How about you? Would you want to invite that hot as hell mechanic to turn our threesome into a foursome?”

’’Fuck.” Regina groaned. ’’I think I know what kind of porn will we be watching tonight.”

Freddie snickered softly. ’’Did you know that ’the mechanic’ is actually a sex position? It’s when she licks your pussy and fingers your ass.”

’’God.” Brianna moaned, plastering her hand over Freddie’s mouth. ’’Stop saying things like that, or I will have you both against this counter while Joan is still here.”

They were far gone, Joan thought giddily. All three of them- yes, three, which surprised Joan but it was even better than one than she originally thought- ogled her like she was the most amazing thing they have ever laid their eyes on, nearly drooling over her. Good. Exactly how Joan liked her patrons. The black haired one –Freddie- was a perfect mix of adorable and sexy, with her bambi eyes and pouting lips, tiny and dainty but with the biggest fucking breasts Joan has ever seen. She could imagine that silky voice crying out as she sucked on them. The blonde, Regina, was a fucking angel with her blonde hair and blue eyes and plump curves, wide hips and thick thighs and an ass to die for. Joan would give good money to spank her just once. Brianna seemed elegant and sophisticated, but Joan knew from experience that those were the kinkiest fuckers. She could imagine pulling on that wild bush of hair and make her moan and lose her polite composure, those mile long legs trembling with want. All three was a different kind of gorgeous, all in different ’’flavors”, and Joan wouldn’t have minded tasting all of them.

Fixing the faucet really wasn’t that big of a deal: it only took some twisting and turning and fiddling, and it was good as new. Joan could see from the corners of her eyes that the three women lingered in the doorway again, watching her intently, and she had to duck back beneath the sink to hide her smug smirk. She made sure to flex her arms just right, making the firm muscles tighten under her skin, and she was pretty sure she heard a faint little gasp.

’’All done, ladies.” Joan announced, climbing back out and sending them a sunny smile. She rose to her feet, stretching out slowly, making sure every muscle popped out enough; she made a big show of bending over to grab her tool kit, gathering her stuff and packing them away very slowly, and the eyes of the woman nearly burned holes into her hips and ass.

She turned around to face them, and she nearly chuckled when she saw their blushes.

’’I’d advise some solvent for the rust to make sure it won’t happen again, but other than that, it’s perfect.” Joan couldn’t help but be a little smug. She knew she had great skills, why should she be all meek and coy about it? Not to mention, Freddie, Brianna and Regina seemed to be swooning over her prowess, so it was all the more reason to gloat.

Regina gave her the money and tipped her pretty generously –maybe a little too generously, considering the state of the flat they didn’t look like they were swimming in cash- but Joan definitely wasn’t going to complain.

’’Thank you so much.” Freddie chirped, smiling up at her coyly. Joan nodded and gave her another smile that had the shorter woman blush.

’’It was my pleasure.” She said, raking her eyes over them. They stared back, cheeks pink and pupils dilated. The tension was palpable in the air. Joan waited patiently to see if any of them are going to pounce, but they just stood their lamely, staring at her like she hung the Moon. Well, some people are shy, Joan thought, shrugging internally.

She bade farewell to the three gorgeous women, sending them a little wink over her shoulders before she strodded down the stairs, back to her car.

The minute the door closed behind Joan, Brianna grabbed Freddie by the hips and pulled her close, crashing their lips together in a bruising kiss while Regina buried her hand in Brianna’s curls, tilting her head to the side so she could kiss and nibble all over her neck.

Joan was a tad bit disappointed; with how much those women were drooling over her she kind of expected them to drop to their knees and beg for her to let them eat her out, but the cash was good, and they were awfully beautiful, so Joan took what she could get.

On that night, when she was touching herself, working a hand furiously between her legs, she fantasized about fucking the shit out of all three of them.


	11. Spark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brianna overcomplicates things, then she runs into someone and immediately stops, while Freddie has a very lucky day, and Regina is proud.

That mechanic left a bigger impact on them than they exptected, that was for sure.  
She came into their lives in her overalls and with her tools and her cheeky little smile, and now everything has changed. Brianna could have tried and be subtle about all she wanted, but that didn’t change the fact that they were constantly horny ever since Joan Deacon showed up; their minds were constantly filled with the young woman, and the fact that this didn’t freak them out, but instead just turned them on even more was quite telling. It’s not cheating when all of you want to fuck the same person, preferably all together, right? 

Freddie has been whining nonstop about how they should have pounced on her when she was still in their apartment, how they should have paid in nature and thanked her in their own way. And it’s not like Brianna or Regina hadn’t imagined that.

’’That woman is a witch.” Regina groaned one day, sitting up in their bed (they pushed together her and Brianna’s and Freddie’s bed: carrying the latter to their room took some struggling, swearing and bumping into things –creating a hole in the tapestry, even- but they managed, and now no one woke up dangerously close to falling onto the floor or with terrible cramps in their necks, though that mattress was still awfully hard) after about the fourth round of mindblowing sex, neck and breasts covered in hickies, cheeks rosy from the afterglow. ’’There is no other explanation as to why she wedged herself into our brains like that. We’re practically fresh lovers, the three of us like this, we should be focusing on each other, not a random stranger!”

Well, Joan Deacon wasn’t a witch, she was just bloody hot, and she tended to have that effect on other women.

Though they should have been focusing on other things, namely Prime Jive, that was practically no man’s land at this point: sometimes someone stumbled in, picked up a few clothes, asked a few questions then walked out without buying anything. It was truly disheartening to watch, as that dream that Regina has been nurturing ever since she was a little kid was crumbling before her very eyes, especially after things were going so smoothly at first. They went through so much shit just to find the right place, sweated like pigs until they could fully renovate it, fought with the bureaucracy and money, and Prime Jive was up, but it wasn’t running like it should be. Regina could practically hear her father snickering into her ears, telling her that ’’silly child, that’s what I’ve been talking about. Had you been a dentist like we wanted, you would get somewhere. This fashion business is ridiculous, and look where are you now, with your big, pink dreams? You’re nowhere, you’re a nobody.”

Getting up in the morning to open Prime Jive became somewhat of an effort. If no one aknowledges your work, all your motivation will dissipate, and Regina felt that in her very core. She has found herself thinking that maybe she should have stayed at dental school instead, she should be filling damn cavities; she would surely have a job right now, even if she hated it. Maybe Prime Jive was a dream, but dreams –especially empty dreams that stay just like that; dreams and nothing more- didn’t pay the bills too well.

Brianna’s mind was full of so many things that morning, and she nearly got hit by a car, almost stepped on a napping cat and knocked into quite a few people as she walked up to the university she was working at. She usually preferred going by car, but now she felt like a long walk was in order.

Her mind just kept whirring like a restless machine. Everything was so jumbled up in her head: she suddenly gained herself another girlfriend besides Regina, the one she already had, and as much as she enjoyed it, and as much as she was sure she loved Freddie, she did have second thoughts. Maybe they jumped into it too quickly. And then there was Joan, and they kept thinking about her, talking about foursomes, and Brianna did entertain the idea, but again, she felt anxious. It was hard impressing just one girlfriend and making sure Regina wouldn’t leave her awkward, lanky ass, now she should work on impressing a second one. Freddie and Regina were both so amazing and beautiful, and Brianna didn’t know how she managed to snag them. And now they are seriously considering calling the mechanic over for a quickie? So Brianna would have to impress not one, not two, but three beautiful women?

She was quite prone to being insecure, especially were things were happening at once. They barely made their relationship official, and now they want a one-night stand. Where was this whole thing going? Will they be going out having sex with other people? Will they have orgies where they won’t be able to figure where one person ended and another one started?

Maybe she was overthinking it –probably, she always did, she was a damn Physics professor, she would be incompetent not to complicate things-; maybe it really was just that simple, falling in love with multiple people at the same time, and having sexy thoughts. Maybe it was all okay, and maybe she didn’t have to impress anyone, she could just be. Regina and Freddie loved her, and that was the only thing that mattered. So maybe she should start womaning up and forgetting about her doubts and worries and just relax and enjoy the present, without dwelling on the past. She never really talked about it anymore because she thought she was ridiculous for not being able to let go, but her thesis getting rejected so many times back then, and being told she wasn’t going to make it, that she had the passion and the curiosity but lacked the talent burned a bigger hole into her self-esteem that she would admit. She constantly felt like she needed to prove something, to be utterly perfect, otherwise she would fail.

She looked up at the large building before her, and took a deep breath. No. She was here, she got this far. She gave lectures, her students loved her, and she loved teaching them. The past is in the past. She was here, as a professor, with two beautiful girlfriends. She wasn’t a failure, she wasn’t incompetent. She just had to keep repeating this mantra, and maybe one day it would permanently stuck in her thick head.

And if anyone should worry about getting somewhere, it was Regina and Freddie. Brianna’s heart clenched in sympathy when she thought about all the struggles Regina went through to get her boutique, and now she wasn’t making a penny with it. She thought about Freddie whose talent was forced to be wasted on stupid portraits and being sexually harrassed by sleazy men. She thought about her girls, who fought tooth and nail, and still didn’t get there where they wanted. If she thought about that, her own insecurities suddenly seemed minuscule compared to theirs.

Brianna straightened her back, held her head high as she walked inside the building. I’ve gotten this far, she kept repeating inside. She has gotten this far, and she was doing much better than she ever imagined she would. If only her girlfriends could achieve their dreams too…

She knocked into another person, but she managed to knock this one over, making them fall onto their ass, their coffee spilling everywhere. Brianna immediately snapped out of her thoughts, looking horrified.

’’I’m so sorry, are you okay!?”

She should have been suspicious the minute she noticed the overalls, really. But then the woman looked up, gave her a sunny smile, and suddenly Brianna felt like collapsing too.

It was Joan Deacon, the sexy mechanic who has been great masturbatory material for them in the past few weeks.

She was so dumbfounded she forgot to lend her a hand, but Joan hopped onto her feet, wiping the worst of the coffee off her overalls before grinning up at her.

’’Familiar faces.” She said, giving Brianna a shameless once-over. ’’You were one of the girls whose faucet I fixed a few weeks ago.”

Brianna nodded. Her mouth suddenly felt really dry, and she had to lick her lips to be able to speak. The way Joan’s eyes followed her tongue wasn’t lost on her.

’’Yeah…uhm, I’m sorry.” She croaked, pointing at Joan’s overalls. Her cheeks were flaming in embarrassment, but Joan just laughed softly.

’’It’s not that big of a loss, actually. The coffe here is awful.”

Brianna chuckled softly, ducking her head. ’’It is. But I’m sorry, Joan.”

Joan gave a little shrug before reaching forward, gently grabbing Brianna’s shoulder.

’’It’s okay, really. You don’t have to apologize. Brianna, right?”

Brianna didn’t really have the brainpower to speak, what with Joan’s hand gently squeezing her shoulder, thumb rubbing little circles into her skin through her shirt, as if to comfort her. She nodded lamely, and Joan smiled.

’’So you’re a professor.” She said, pulling back a little to look Brianna over once again, making her blush heavily. She would slap a man for ogling her so obviously, but now she just felt flattered, and also like the prey of an apex predator.

’’Impressive.”

Brianna was pretty sure she was going to be late from her class, standing here like an idiot and staring at Joan, but it felt like her legs were rooted into the tiled floors, and she couldn’t move away from her.

’’Thank you.” She croaked out awkwardly. ’’Uhm, you’re…how come you’re here?”

’’I was thinking I might need to take some Physics lectures, you could help me.” Joan winked, and Brianna’s chest nearly burst with how fast her heart was pounding. Joan saw her bewildered expression, and she laughed.

’’I’m just kidding. One of the toilets flooded, the one on the first floor, so it’s closed for the day.”

’’Oh…okay.” Brianna said, and she was pretty sure she looked utterly stupid. But Joan just smirked, patting Brianna on the shoulder gently.

’’Gotta go back to work. See you around, Prof.”

Brianna stared after her as she walked away, watched her firm ass and her muscular arms, and she came to the conclusion that maybe things really were just simple: Joan was hot, and they all wanted to fuck her. Nothing too complicated or insecurity-inducing here.

Freddie was half-draped over the counter, sighing as she stared up at the clock. Prime Jive has been open for three hours, and no one came in yet. She was the one on shop duty now, because Regina had to take a shift at the diner, and she was getting awfully bored. She honestly considered closing for the day; it’s not like anyone cared about this boutique they opened, right?

She nearly squealed when the little bell above the door rang, and she all but jumped over the counter to greet the customer. After weeks of radio silence, she would have been fine even with a racist hag like the one that came in here on the first day.

The woman who walked in seemed around her early forties, polished and sophisticated, and Freddie felt herself shrinking under the authority she seemed to be oozing. Her clothes were stylish, way more stylish than the offers of this boutique. Freddie wondered why someone like that would come into Prime Jive.

’’Welcome to Prime Jive!” Freddie made sure to inject some cheer into her voice as she walked over to the woman, keeping a polite distance.

The woman looked at her and gave her a small smile. ’’Hello. This is a lovely place.”

Freddie’s eyes immediately lit up, and she nodded eagerly. ’’Thank you! We spent days renovating.”

The woman hummed appreciatively, looking at the white furniture, running her hand over a comode. It seemed like she was more interested in the looks of the boutique than the clothes themselves, and Freddie was utterly confused.

’’I love the pink and white mix.” She said, looking up at the walls. ’’Very girly, just like how a new boutique should look like.”

Freddie just stood there, trying to figure out what was going on. Why would someone came into a shop full of clothes, only to get all aroused by the color of the walls?

She was about to open her mouth, to say something, to offer a piece of clothing, anything, but the woman continued:

’’May I ask who designed the logo? It’s gorgeous.”

Her eyes were full of appreciation, and Freddie was pretty sure she inflated to twice her size with the sheer pride she was feeling.

’’I did.” She said, straightening her back. The woman looked her over, and her kind of artifical smile turned just a tad bit more realistic.

’’What is your name?”

’’Freddie Bulsara, Ma’am.” She suddenly felt like a little kid about to be scolded by her strict teacher, but the woman just kept smiling, reaching her hand out.

’’I’m Robin Colvin. I’m the head of the Pink Fairy Design Studio.”

Freddie’s mouth went dry as she shook her hand. She heard about that one. It was a studio that offered mostly graffiti artwork, for places like schools and kindergartens; she remembered the compliment she got on the opening party, that she should illustrate children’s books, and she had to bite her lip not to scream.

She wanted to say something, compliment Robin on their work, anything, really, to not look like a total idiot, but Robin beat her to it again.

’’You know, I was just passing by and I saw that logo. What can I say? I fell in love with it. Though I think the phoenix should wear the stilettos.”

’’Right?” Freddie said, suddenly feeling giddy. ’’That’s what I said!”

Robin laughed softly. ’’Anyways, it’s beautiful. I just wanted to drop by and ask around if anyone knows the designer. I’m really glad to have found the the designer herself.”

Freddie blushed, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Was this real? Did someone really stopped here, only to look for the designer? Was her role really that important?

She stared in disbelief as Robin handed her a business card. ’’Call me if you’d be interested in working for us.”

Freddie suddenly felt dizzy, and she had to grip a rack next to her not to pass out right there.

’’Really?”

Robin nodded. ’’Really. It was really nice to meet you, Freddie.”

She turned around and started walking away, and Freddie finally snapped out of her haze.

’’Wait!”

Robin stopped, turning around to raise a curious eyebrow.

’’Would you…would you take a look at the clothes here, please? They are all handmade, made by my friend and the owner of this shop.”

She hoped she could tickle the artist in Robin. They really needed to sell something.

Robin was looking around a for a few tense seconds, before smiling again.

’’You know what? I might need a few new skirts.”

Regina practically tackled her down, smothering her cheeks in wet kisses with Brianna ruffling her hair lovingly.

’’You little genius, you.” Regina laughed, kissing Freddie’s nose. ’’You sold 8 skirts!”

’’I did.” Freddie laughed. It wasn’t a lot, but it was much more than they have sold before.

’’And you might get yourself a job at that studio!” Brianna chimed in, looking awfully proud.

’’Freddie, this is so amazing.”

’’It is.” Regina agreed, giving them her brightest grin. Maybe just maybe, this was the beginning of a lucky stride.

’’I think this calls for a celebration!”


	12. The More, The Merrier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina, Freddie and Brianna run into a familar face, and this time, they don't hesitate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's smutty time ;)

Since according to Regina Freddie was the true champion of that day, she was the one who got to choose the place of their celebration, and she went all out. She picked the loudest lesbian bar of the city where they had to stand in line for half an hour before they were let in, but it was definitely worth it. The music was surprisingly good, nearly not as trashy as Brianna imagined; women were dancing with their bodies pressed close to another, pure ecstasy and lust written over everyone’s faces. Exactly the kind of place that would give them a good time for tonight’s celebration.

The drinks could have been cheaper, but they were good, and they soon found themselves downing shots after shots, cheeks growing pleasantly flushed from the alcohol buzzing away in their system.

’’I’m so proud of you.” Regina slurred a little, wrapping her arm around Freddie’s shoulder and pressing a smacking kiss onto her cheek. ’’I knew you’re gonna get discovered!”

’’Hold your horses, I’d still have to take a job interview or make a portfolio or something. Surely I cannot just waltz in there and say ’I want this job, give it to me now’.” Freddie chuckled, fiddling with a piece of her hair. Brianna gave her an encouraging smile, kissing her other cheek.

’’Well, that Robin Colvin seemed very interested in you. I wouldn’t be surprised if she would just give you the job right away.”

’’Speaking of portfolios and jobs,” Regina started, leaning back in the couch they were residing on, ’’I think I’m gonna try and apply for a job at the Mirabelle Fashion Company. They are hiring.”

Brianna raised a surprised eyebrow at her over the rim of her glass. Just how many shots had she had? She lost count after a while.

’’But you would just be an intern at first, with bad payment, running around with coffee for the designers.”

Regina nodded, stirring her own drink with the colorful straw. ’’I know. But I have to give it a try. I have to start somewhere. I’d still have the boutique up and running, but it won’t get too much attention until I actually make a name in the industry.”

’’Didn’t you just say that your teachers said you should be reaching out to people of the street first? That you should start ramping up your own shop, and wait until you’re discovered?” Freddie asked, seemingly confused herself. Regina fought so hard for this boutique, following through with her plan of charming the costumers and only after then would she try for an actual gig, but the blonde seemed to have different plans now.

’’The boutique is not doing well. You were fantastic today, Freddie, this was our first breakthrough, but I have a feeling it’s not gonna last. Don’t give me that look, I’m not closing Prime Jive, but I need to stop sitting around on my ass and wait for a miracle to happen. I need to start this rocket off.”

Brianna and Freddie shared a look, then both nodded. It made a lot of sense, actually. Prime Jive was clearly not as popular as it was supposed to be, and Regina was right about trying to charm the big dogs first so her clothing line would actually have a chance to take off. Regina’s teachers gave her some really bad advise with trying for a boutique first; thank god Regina was smart enough to realize in time that dreams are truly lovely, but she needed to see things rationally as well.

’’But let’s not dwell on my ideas.” Regina continued, lifting her glass and giving Freddie a proud look. ’’I’m still very proud of you, baby.”

Freddie smiled, raising her own glass and clinking it to Regina’s, before doing the same to Brianna’s glass.

They spent more money on alcohol than they originally planned, but they were in a great mood after Freddie’s succes both in probably getting an important job and selling more clothes than they ever had before, and Regina’s announcement that she will try and corner a big fashion company besides working at Prime Jive, trying to make sure her dream will actually have a chance to become reality.

All three of them were absolutely wasted only a few hours later. Regina wobbled uncertainly as she rose to her feet to get them some more of the betrayingly sweet, but nonetheless strong as hell cocktails they had been sipping on before.

She leant against the counter while the bartender fix their drinks, and let her eyes roam the crowd. There were all kinds of women in all kinds of outfits grinding together, and Regina was giddy. She did cook up a nice little plan, and while working at Prime Jive as well as interning for a company sounded a little strenous, she wasn’t going to back down. So far, everything in her life had been strenous- she was well used to it by now.

Suddenly, something –or more like, someone- caught her attention, and she felt more sober than ever.

Was that…?

The woman was alone at a table, sipping on her beer, eyes scanning the crowd just as Regina did, her green eyes sparkling mischievously. She clearly came ready to play, and her hungry gaze stopped on Regina. Realization sparked in her eyes and she gave Regina a gap-toothed smile and a little wave, and Regina’s feet nearly gave out from under her.

It was as if she was pulled in by some invisible force as she walked over to Joan, trying her best not to collapse from her intense gaze. Seriously, what the hell was she doing? Fantasizing and masturbating to the image of Joan presenting them the mechanic position Freddie had been gushing about was one thing, walking into the dent of the lion was another. But then again, Regina had a tendency to think with her clit sometimes.

’’I knew you were familiar.” Joan smirked over her drink, unashamedly roaming her eyes over Regina’s blue lacy top and denim shorts.

’’It would be too hard to forget someone this beautiful.”

Regina felt her cheeks heat, and she had to clear her throat several times before she could speak again.

’’You’re alone here?”

’’Mhm. Though it seems like you’re seeking out company. Are the rest of your gorgeous flatmes here too?”

’’They are, yes.” Regina said, feeling her lips twitch into a smile. ’’And they are my girlfriends, actually.”

Joan whistled lowly, and her eyes turned even darker than before. She kind of suspected something, but it was never explicitly stated those three were an item. Well, well, well.

’’I could ask them to come over here.” Regina offered, and Joan’s grin widened. The blonde was a little flustered, but there was a hungry look in her eyes that Joan definitely liked.

’’Sure.” Joan said, taking another sip of her beer.

’’The more, the merrier.”

’’I thought someone kidnapped you.” Brianna rumbled when Regina arrived back to their table.

’’Where have you been?”

Regina licked her lips, giving them a look that was positively horny, and Freddie watched her face with great interest as she leaned in closer.

’’Joan is here. The mechanic.”

Freddie gasped softly and Brianna blushed, immediately looking around to try and locate her.

’’I met her earlier.” She said, craning her neck to see better. She hadn’t spotted her yet. ’’One of the toilets flooded at the university and she worked on it. We ran into each other.”

’’You haven’t even mentioned it.” Freddie said, her eyes hooded from the alcohol, and lust, probably. 

’’God, I missed that face and those arms.”

’’Well, she’s here now.” Regina said, a hint of impatience lingering in her voice.

’’I told her we’re gonna join her soon.”

’’You did what?” Brianna groaned, staring up at her in disbelief.

’’Reg…”

’’What?” Regina gave her a glance of confusion. ’’We all want to fuck her, come on.”

’’So, that’s the plan?” Freddie checked, looking from Regina to Brianna and then back again. ’’We’re planning a foursome?”

’’I’m not sure if that’s a good idea…” Brianna tried to protest, but Regina cut her off.

’’Come on, Bri. It’s okay. Don’t you want to try it? I do, and so does Freddie, and I’m pretty sure you do too. It’s just for one night.”

It was probably the alcohol that made Regina speak her mind again so much. The sexual tension in their household has been unbearable since Joan came over to fix their sink. All they did was talking about how hot she was, coming up with the wildest fantasies. And truly, what’s the harm? It’s not like they were asking Joan to marry them. Hell, they didn’t even ask her to go out with them. Regina was just getting tired of them –especially Brianna, with her thousands of insecurities- tiptoeing around it instead of jumping straight into it. Seriously, it’s not like all three of them wouldn’t cut off their own arms if that meant spending a night with Joan.

’’She has a point.” Freddie spoke softly. She licked her lips, reaching over the table to trace her fingertips over the back of Brianna’s hand.

’’Come on, darling. I know you want it too. You have been talking about it so much. What are you scared of?”

Brianna sighed, shaking her head. ’’Isn’t this like cheating?”

’’No.” Regina and Freddie said at the same time, raising her eyebrows at her expectantly. Brianna hesitated. Of course she wanted to have sex with Joan: the idea of a foursome was one of her wildest wet fantasies, and it was true that she couldn’t stop thinking about it. And didn’t she just promise herself a few hours prior that she would stop overthinking things and just live in the moment?

She downed her last drink before putting her glass down on the table, letting the liquid courage take over her rational brain. Fuck this. Fuck her insecurities. And fuck Joan, hopefully.

’’Alright, then. Lead the way, Reg.”

Joan looked up and gave them a sweet smile the moment they arrived, standing somewhat awkwardly around the table she was sitting at. She truly hoped Regina would manage to whisk the other girls over: Freddie seemed just as awestruck as the blonde did, so Joan figured she didn’t need much convincing. Brianna seemed a little tougher of a cookie, clearly more shy than the other two, but Joan was sure she would give in too. They were already hers, from the minute she showed up on their doorstep.

They were all fucking gorgeous, Joan honestly couldn’t decide whom she wanted to have first. Regina was beautiful in her blue top and shorts, easy and summery and soft, her blonde hair cascading down her back beautifully. Freddie’s yellow top was cut out so deeply Joan wondered how those huge breasts stayed in their place. Not like they will for long, obviously. She wore an obscenely short miniskirt, and Joan eyed her thighs hungrily. Brianna wore dark jeans that hugged her gorgeous legs and a simple grey tank top, but she looked amazing and so natural. Joan had a feeling she didn’t even realize how beautiful she was.

She was aware that she wasn’t half bad in her black shirt and ripped jeans, hair up in a ponytail, and sure enough, she could see them eye-fucking her already.

’’Hello, ladies.” She purred, leaning forward, ’’can I buy you all a drink?”

They haven’t said no, even though it was obvious all of them were drunk, but well. Who could resist Joan’s charm?

They haven’t talked for a while, just sipped their drinks while looking at each other, waiting for someone to make the first move. Joan grinned at them over her drink. They looked like sheep about to be devoured by a wolf, except for the obvious lust in their eyes. They clearly wanted her as much as Joan wanted them.

She was about to open her mouth to suggest they might need a quieter place to ’’talk”, but Freddie beat her to it.

’’Would you want to come home with us, darling?”

Brianna and Regina hissed, giving her a murderous look for ruining their moment with being so crude, but Freddie was clearly impatient, looking like she was about to burst from sheer arousal.

Joan gave her a smirk before reaching out to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, making her blush.

’’Thought you’d never ask.”

She looked back at Regina and Brianna, saw their dilated pupils and their flushed cheeks, and she chuckled softly.

She was about to have a great night.

It was somewhat of a blur how they made it back to the girls’ flat: the cab drive was tense, none of them daring to start making out right there in the back seat, but pure lust and anticipation was radiating off all of them.

Joan pushed Freddie against the wall the minute they closed the door behind them, earning a squeak from her and a gasp from Regina and Brianna.

She kissed Freddie hungrily, cupping her breasts and squeezing them possessively.

’’Wanted to do this since you opened the door the first time we met.” Joan drawled, rucking up Freddie’s top along with her bra, immediately latching onto a hard nipple and licking it, making Freddie whimper.

’’So fucking sexy, all of you.” Joan purred after pulling back, looking over at Regina and Brianna. They were both flushed, eyes glued to where Joan was pinching and toying with Freddie’s nipples.

She was surprised when Brianna spoke first.

’’We wanted you too.”

Joan grinned, twisting Freddie’s nipples, causing her to cry out and buck against the thigh Joan had between her legs.

’’Let’s move this to the bedroom.” Regina breathed, grabbing Brianna’s hand and pulling her along. Joan gave Freddie another smacking kiss before she grabbed her and followed the other two.

Brianna and Regina were already pulling on each other’s clothes, so turned on their kisses were reduced to panting into each other’s mouths. So hungry, so impatient, and Joan couldn’t wait to have them.

She made quick work of Freddie’s clothes before she unceremoniously pushed her onto the floor on all fours. There was no time for gentleness here: they were all riled up and hungry.

Freddie cried out as Joan pushed two fingers inside her right away, humming appreciatively at the awaiting wetness.

Brianna and Regina watched them, panting. Joan gave them a smirk.

’’Like the show, huh? She’s quite the sight on all fours, isn’t she?”

’’Yeah.” Regina moaned, watching hungrily as Joan fingered Freddie, hard and fast, her other hand squeezing her breasts.

Freddie was far gone, head thrown back, canting her hips backwards and near sobbing in pleasure. Joan’s fingers were long and calloused, stretching her out perfectly, and Freddie was sure she was going to turn into a puddle with how much she was gushing.

’’Regina, eat Brianna out. Make her cum.” Joan ordered, still watching them like a hawk. Regina didn’t expect to be ordered around like that, but there was something in Joan’s voice that sent shivers down her spine, and she dropped to her knees as if on autopilot, clutching at Brianna’s hips.

Brianna moaned as she felt the first lick of Regina’s tongue against her wet parts, and she clutched onto her hair to pull her close, hips thrusting against her face as she still watched Joan fucking the everloving hell out of Freddie, as if mesmerized.

’’Gorgeous.” Joan purred, pinching Freddie’s nipple again while she thrusted hard into her G-spot, making her whimper and clench around her fingers.

’’Look how beautiful they are.” She addressed Freddie this time, and she looked up, moaning as her eyes met Brianna’s lustful ones.

Regina was licking and sucking at Brianna’s clit like her life depended on it: god, she wanted to be a good girl for Joan, wanted to show her that it was worth coming over. That woman clearly put a spell on them.

Freddie came, crying out Joan’s name as she convulsed around her fingers, nearly headbutting the floor as she collapsed. Joan pulled out, sucking Freddie’s wetness off her fingers, eyes still glued on Brianna, who was clearly nearing the edge, thighs shaking as Regina fucked her with her tongue.

’’That’s it.” Joan purred, one hand casually fondling Freddie’s breasts as she watched them.

’’Come on, Brianna, come for me, beautiful.”

That was all Brianna needed, apparently, because she shouted, head thrown back as she gushed over Regina’s lips and tongue eagerly.

Regina was quite the sight as she turned to Joan, lips covered in Brianna’s arousal, eyes hooded with lust. Joan cooed to her softly as she took her place behind her, pushing her fingers inside her without further ado, making her cry out and push her hips back eagerly.

Brianna was now sitting on the floor with her lap full of Freddie, kissing over the shorter woman’s neck and chest, still in pure ecstasy. Joan gave them a wink before she strarted plowing Regina, sending her on all fours as well as she fucked her hard.

It was a miracle how Joan’s hands didn’t get tired, but again, they were quite skilled. She fucked like an absolute animal, knocking the wind out of Regina’s lungs, and the blonde couldn’t do anything just whimper and take it until she came, squirting all over Joan’s fingers.

Joan’s eyes met Brianna’s who was flushed, chest rising and falling rapidly, trembling with want. Joan wasn’t going to be cruel to her.

’’Come here, then.”

Brianna nearly tripped over her own feet as she rolled onto her back on the floor without any shame. This wasn’t the night for shyness, clearly.

Joan kissed her hungrily, tugging at her bottom lip with her teeth as she slipped her fingers inside, Brianna’s and the other two’s wetness on her fingers easing the way.

Brianna wrapped her thighs around Joan’s waist to pull her in closer, her moans eagerly swallowed by Joan who fucked her just as hard as she fucked Freddie and Regina, showing no signs of exhaustion.

She barely finished Brianna off before Regina and Freddie pounced on her, tackling her to the ground, making quick work of her clothes. Regina latched onto her hard nipples and sucked eagerly, while Freddie placed wet kisses all over her neck. Brianna took her place between her legs after she pulled herself together, wasting no time before sucking Joan’s clit into her mouth.

They spent the rest of the night pleasuring each other, the flat swimming with the heady smell of sex as they hungrily took each other without a break and without regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fact that the chapter filled with sexual tension and lesbian group sex is the longest one I've written for this fic says a lot about me I guess lmaoo
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at bambirexwrites, where I take requests about fem!queen and fem!borhap, so feel free to drop by and send me something! :))


	13. No Man's Land

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joan is so not prepared for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We examine Joan's feelings the morning after ;)

The first thing Joan had noticed upon waking up, was that half of her butt was hanging off the bed, and her body was getting numb from the uncomfortable position. The next she became aware of is that her hand was resting on a deliciously plump breast. She noticed her nose was tickled by frizzy curls, blocking her oxygen somewhat. She shook her head until she managed to whip Brianna’s hair out of her face, then she gave Freddie’s breast a light squeeze, making the shorter woman whimper in her sleep. Joan smirked, leaning down to press a kiss onto the tip of her nipple, hoping for some morning fun. Freddie stirred in her arms, but didn’t wake up, burrowing deeper into Brianna’s stomach. Honestly, this weird piled up position was uncomfortable as hell and Joan had trouble locating her own limbs. She suddenly realized the fourth piece of their little foursome was missing. Too bad, she would need some more added weight on top of her. No she wouldn’t. But she missed that pretty face.

She untangled herself from under the mess of limbs that covered her, hitting the floor with a low thud as her numb legs wobbled out from under her. She hissed, rubbing her poor, sore bottom before she managed to clumsily scramble up on her feet, stretching out. Her body was aching and sore, not just from sleeping in a bed that could only take three people comfortably, but from the memories of last night as well. Joan grinned at the thought. The three women were eager and beautiful, moaning in bliss under her ministrations and giving her pleasure that certainly blew her away. Joan was used to some of her patrons not reciprocating, and though she detested that behavior, at least she had some fun while fucking them. She didn’t need to worry about this here, as all three of them gave her pleasure numerous times. Let’s just say, Joan had a fun night.

She fished up her discarded shirt and jeans from the floor, throwing them on. She didn’t button the shirt all the way up, and she especially didn’t feel like bothering with a bra and underwear in general. Right now, she wanted to discover the kitchen and make herself a fresh cup of coffee before she went on her merry way. She wouldn’t be able to function today without her dear caffeine. Joan was sure her well-fucked girls wouldn’t mind if she served herself.

The kitchenette was occupied by the vanished blonde, and Joan couldn’t help but smirk at the sight of the dark hickies that littered her neck. She was only wearing a loose tee and leggings, and yet, she was just as endearing as she was all dressed up for the club (not to mention naked). Maybe she would have a chance at a quickie before she had to leave, Joan thought giddily as she brushed Regina’s hair aside to kiss her neck, her lips brushing over the marks she had left there. Regina shuddered, turning her head to see who was attacking her: she had a few options now.

’’Oh…morning.” Regina breathed, seemingly surprised to find Joan up- or more like, still in their apartment. She had a feeling the mechanic would fuck off early in the morning, having satisfied with the magnificent romp they just had, but apparently, that was not the case.

Joan only hummed in response, continuing to kiss all over her neck, one hand slipping under Regina’s shirt to cup her breasts, thumbing a quickly hardening nipple.

’’Ah…ehm, as much as I enjoy this, I’m kind of in the middle of something.” Regina stuttered, and Joan stopped toying with her nipples, but she left her hand on Regina’s chest as she looked over the surface of the table. Sure enough, it looked a mess: there was a huge piece of cardboard that nearly covered the entire table, several tubes of glue, scissors, a notebook, a pile of fashion magazines, some kind of patterned fabric, pins and needles and a half-done floral top. She even saw a tub of glitter.

Regina looked up and saw Joan’s confused expression, and she gave her a kind smile.

’’I’m making a portfolio. It requires a shit ton of stuff, as you can see.”

Joan had to admit, she was surprised that Regina was actually talking to her. She wasn’t exactly used to her one-night stands talking about their hobbies and aknowledging that she was around besides her hand, tongue and pussy, since those were the parts of her that people were mostly interested in. Regina seemed interested in other things as well.

’’Do you like being a mechanic?”

’’Well,” Joan started, pinching Regina’s nipple playfully, making her gasp, ’’I get a lot of tips.”

Regina pushed her hand away so she could actually concentrate, gesturing at Joan to take a seat, and she did, though not before she swept some glitter off the chair. Regina gave her an apologetic smile.

’’Have you ever wanted to do something else?” Regina asked, continuing to sew some lace onto the top she was holding.

’’What’s wrong with being a mechanic?” Joan knew she was getting defensive, but she was absolutely fed up with people looking down on her job and thinking she must have been stuck with it, her real dreams going down the drain, literally. Why does everyone have to be a doctor for other people to take them seriously?

’’Nothing.” Regina replied easily, swearing lightly under her breath as she stabbed her finger with the needle. ’’I’m just making conversation. You’re good at it. Our sink is good as new.”  
Joan smiled softly, picking up the piece of fabric to play with it absentmindedly.

’’Well, yeah. Guess I have skilled hands.”

She gave Regina a wink and the blonde blushed, but she was smirking too.

’’We certainly weren’t complaining.”

Joan hummed, looking over the messy table again. For some reason, she found herself quite interested in Regina- and the rest of them- too.

’’What is this for?”

’’Take a wild guess.” Regina laughed. ’’I want to apply for a job at a fashion company. I want to be a designer, I have a boutique too, but…it doesn’t sell too well. So I’m trying to have more legs to stand on now.”

’’So you’re all pretty fancy people.” Joan stated, not even trying to mask the disdain in her voice. She had quite the experience with those, considering Holly’s posh ass got tired of her overalls and screwdrivers.

Regina raised an eyebrow at her tone. ’’No, I wouldn’t say that. Does this flat look fancy to you?”

Joan took a look around, at the ugly walls and the old furniture, and she shook her head. 

’’Brianna is a professor though.” Joan added with a bitter chuckle. People with dr. before their name would never settle for someone like Joan. Not like she was thinking about that, as she only came here for a quick fuck. It just crossed her mind. For a milisecond.

’’Yes, but she’s definitely not a snob.” Regina said, her lips curling into a small smile at the thought of her girlfriend. ’’She’s a mess, like the rest of us. So we definitely don’t judge.”

Joan studied Regina’s expression in disbelief. This girl seemed to read her like an open book, and it was sort of frightening.

’’What about Freddie?” Joan asked, trying to shrug attention away from herself before Regina could have a chance to nag her more.

’’She sort of helps out in my boutique. She wants to be a graphic artist, she designed our logo. She just got discovered by a company yesterday, that is what we were celebrating at the club when we met.”

Joan hummed, putting the fabric back down again. A part of her wanted to know more, wanted to ask about their relationship, if they ever had sex with a random stranger before or she was the first lucky one, wanted to ask her more about her job, her dreams as a fashion designer-Joan was intrigued. Which was anything but comforting, because she usually wasn’t, not after just barely knowing someone. And she usually wasn’t intrigued in general. The last thing she needed is another heartbreak. She was just fine having casual sex with pretty strangers. This part of her made her shut up, and she just stared at the collage on the table.

’’Is a CV not enough?”

Regina laughed softly, her voice chiming like a little silver bell in the small kitchen.

’’No, well, they actually need to see what I’m capable of. So they need a piece designed by me,” she held up the floral top she was working on,

’’a piece of fabric that I’d like to work with more, which is chiffon, it’s the one you were fiddling with. I have to find pictures of outfits that I find inspiring, that’s what the mags for. I also need to write about what I’m aiming for, what kind of fashion line I’m planning, who those clothes would be for. You need to share personal info about you in general, what your hobbies are and stuff. I obviously snapped photos of the boutique and wrote about my struggles with it. I have the CV too, obviously, and I would need a reference from one of my teachers, I still need that.”

Just as Regina reached the end of her explanation, Freddie and Brianna padded into the kitchen, both of them looking adorably sleepy and well-fucked. 

’’Hello darlings.” Freddie purred, leaning down to kiss Regina, and to Joan’s biggest surprise, her as well. Fuck, why did this make her blush!? This is not going well with her reputation.

’’Oh, my lord.” Freddie gasped as she looked at the table, petrified. ’’Darling, how are we supposed to have breakfast like this?”

’’Just have it on the counter.” Regina shrugged, going back to her little project. Joan’s head was buzzing with everything that was happening around here, and she nearly jumped out of her skin when Brianna placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

’’Coffee?” She asked with that soft smile of hers and Joan could only nod, staring like an idiot as Brianna started the coffeemachine, humming under her breath. Regina kept sewing and cutting and crunching with the cardboard, while Freddie was eating cereal straight out of the box, munching away like an adorable little mouse, and Joan was honestly getting dizzy.

Why wasn’t this awkward? She sure expected at least Brianna to be awkward around her, what with her stoic personality, but she was making her coffee like she had always started her mornings like that. And Regina was happily sharing details about her dreams, and Freddie kissed her like she was one of her girlfriends. What the hell was going on here?  
This shouldn’t feel so natural, like she had been a part of their every day routine. They should be blushing and avoiding her glances, clearing their throat and making the most awkward small talk. And Joan should get her stuff and get the hell out of there, she already got what she wanted. Yet, she stayed like the idiot that she was, letting Brianna pour her hot coffee and gently ask her how she took it, adding the tiny splash of milk with a kind smile. She let Regina chitter some more about the fashion line she was planning and the portfolio that was soon building in front of her eyes, and Joan couldn’t help but listen on despite trying not to, despite trying to shut them out. She let Freddie’s robe brush against her as she leaned over the table, giving advice on the aesthetic look of the collage. ’’Do you need help with the drawings, darling?”

’’Fuck, the drawings! Thanks for reminding me. No, thanks, you’d be surprised but I can draw.”

Joan listened to their pointless banter, watched as Brianna scolded Regina gently for making a mess while they were having a guest, then asked Joan what she wanted to eat. Joan had no idea, she forgot the name of every food she had ever known. She forgot everything.

’’Bri makes a killer omelette.” Freddie said, leaning closer to her, her bathrobe slipping a little to reveal her collarbone, and Joan wanted to kiss it, caress it gently, not like the wild animal she was yesterday, fucking Freddie so hard she was still limping a little. She would make slower, sweeter love to them, if they let her. Just to try, just to feel what it was like.

Joan watched the domestic atmosphere around her, the relationship that seemed plenty balanced already, while she was awkwardly thrust into the middle, floating in no man’s land; she wasn’t a part of them, of course she wasn’t, they didn’t even have a proper date and it’s not like the girls wanted that, or Joan wanted that, for that matter, but she was treated differently than a one-night stand. Or was this the habit around here? Who was she in that fashion-graphics-Physics ruled, strange little world? And why was she even thinking about this at all, and why was she eating Brianna’s omelette like she belonged there?

Joan always considered herself a smart person, but right now, she couldn’t find the answers to her own questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Joan, Joan...


	14. Pink Fairy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie heads for her job intervew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You remember Robin Colvin and the Pink Fairy Studio? We'll see how Freddie's job interview goes.

’’Maybe the white blouse and pencil skirt combo is a little too much.”

Brianna laughed softly, stepping ove the piles of clothes scattered over the floor, a proof of Freddie’s indecision about her outfit. She wrapped her arms around her middle from behind once she reached her without tripping over something, and Freddie let out a small huff as she lolled her head back against her chest.

’’You’re going to a job interview.” Brianna reminded her gently, pressing a kiss onto Freddie’s cheek.

’’You’re supposed to look professional.”

’’Yes, but it’s such a modern company.” Freddie argued, looking down at the pencil skirt she was wearing, and the still unbuttoned white blouse. ’’Not to mention, we’re all artists there. We are supposed to be different, darling, outrageous, even.”

’’Why, did Robin Colvin look outrageous?” Brianna asked, and Freddie hummed. She thought back on the stoic, typical business lady looking woman. She didn’t look like an artist at all. Though she probably wasn’t, she was just the CEO and handled the projects. Still, Freddie didn’t want to look too uptight.

She was nervous about this job, for more than one reason. Obviously, working there would be like a dream- isn’t that what she wanted, what she dreamed of all along? Being an artist? Actually using her degree to something fun and interesting, instead of wasting it on portrays? Robin Colvin may have seemed interested in her and her art, but that didn’t mean she would be landed the job just like that. She called Colvin a few days ago, who sounded suprisingly cheerful and asked her to come in for a little interview, and Freddie was beyond ecstatic. But she knew how nervous she could get sometimes when meeting new people. What if she starts stammering? What if she freezes? What if she says something stupid? What if, what if, what if…

And then there was the fact that she kind of felt like she was abandoning Regina. She seemed truly happy for her, but Freddie couldn’t help but think that if she does get the job, she won’t be able to help Regina out in the boutique. Sure, it’s not like Prime Jive was very popular, so sometimes days have passed without anyone buying anything, but what if people start to flood in after Freddie had left? How will Regina handle it? She would need to quit working at the diner, probably (just like Freddie, though she didn’t dare tell Matt her decision just yet, not until she actually gets the job and the ink dries on her contract). God, her brain was buzzing, running a mile a minute. She was turning into Brianna, Queen of Overthinking at this point.

As if Brianna felt the nerves radiating off her, she pressed a small kiss onto her neck, nuzzling the warm skin.

’’It’s gonna be okay.” She promised softly, cupping Freddie’s jaw and turning her face to kiss her, smiling as Freddie finally relaxed into the kiss, humming softly against her lips.

’’So, professional, it is.” Freddie said with a resigning sigh once she pulled back, reaching for the lapels of the blouse to button it up. She was horrified to see the lapels wouldn’t even meet.

’’Oh my god…” She whispered, looking up at Brianna with terrified eyes, ’’I got fat!”

Brianna frowned, inspecting the blouse from closer, then burst into laughter.

’’This is mine, not yours.”

’’Oh.” Freddie said softly, before giggling, shrugging it off and handing it back to Brianna. This made sense at least, their chest sizes were on the two ends of the boob spectrum. It was another proof of how domestic they got with each other: their clothes were all over the place, mixing with one another. For some reason, it made Freddie feel giddy.

Though there was a feeling of something missing, and she wasn’t the only one who thought that way.

The sex with Joan was fantastic- of course it was, Freddie could practically still feel her fingers inside her- but it was more than that. It was supposed to be a one-night stand, giving into the temptation and having a much craved foursome, but that’s not how it ended. There was something strangely domestic and natural about cuddling with Joan in the morning, and then making coffee and breakfast for her in the kitchen, chatting with her about their plans for the day. Though it wasn’t much chatting, it was mostly them talking and Joan listening, but the fact she even cared about what they needed to say, and didn’t fuck off without a goodbye after she had her fill was enough to make the whole situation a little strange, so to speak.

They exchanged phone numbers, and that’s where the problem lied. They tried to call Joan a couple times, but she never answered. And Freddie wasn’t the only one who felt grumpy about it.

It was strange, because they didn’t include Joan to be a part of their relationship, and yet, it felt like one of their girlfriends just broke up with them. An absolutely ridiculous notion, after so little time of knowing someone (did they know her by the way? She didn’t talk much about herself other than her job). And yet, Freddie was missing her. And so did Brianna and Regina. The blonde was straight up furious about her disappearing off the face of the Earth, Brianna was just grumpy and made a lot of sarcasic comments, no doubt fueled by how hurt she was feeling about it, why Freddie tried to be optimistic, but her heart was aching. That wasn’t normal, pining after someone whom they didn’t even know, and yet, here they were.

Regina padded into the room just in that second, grinning when she spotted Freddie in only a skirt and a bra.

’’Is this what you’ll wear? I like it.”

Freddie chuckled, shaking her head. ’’You are the fashion expert. What should I wear to look professional, but like someone who actually has some artistic bones in her body?”

Regina smirked, planting a little kiss onto Freddie’s lips.

’’I think I might have gotten it covered.”

Freddie and Brianna watched curiously as Regina rummaged through their closet, pulling out a bag that Freddie didn’t notice. Freddie gasped as Regina pulled a beautiful burgundy blouse out with intricate golden floral patterns.

’’Darling, this is gorgeous!” Freddie said with awe, taking it from Regina. Regina laughed softly, though there was an adorable little blush suffusing her cheeks.

’’I made this for you.”

Brianna and Freddie gasped at the same time, just like how they said in unison:

’’You did!?”

Regina laughed again, nodding. ’’Don’t look so surprised.”

’’It’s not that, but you had to work on your portfolio.” Freddie said softly, looking somewhat guilty. Regina tutted, pulling her into a hug.

’’It’s mostly done, don’t worry about it. Why don’t you try it on? I didn’t dare putting buttons on it, because of the…”

She gestured at Freddie’s breasts, making her laugh. ’’Tell me about it.”

The shirt fit like a dream, and tucked into the pencil skirt it looked elegant but bohemian, and Freddie couldn’t help but coo at her reflection.

’’I love it! Thank you so much.”

She pulled Regina into a grateful kiss. Regina smiled as she pulled away, gently bopping Freddie on the nose.

’’Go, and get that job. I’m gonna go and pretend I can sell some clothes.” Regina joked.

Brianna dropped Regina off at Prime Jive before she drove away with Freddie to the Pink Fairy Studio. She laughed at the frown on Freddie’s face when she looked at their logo.

’’I get that it’s for children mostly, but they need to redesign their logo.”

’’Maybe you could do that later. Go, and charm them.”

She kissed Freddie goodbye, waving to her as she uncertainly stumbled out of the car. Freddie had half the mind to turn around and run away, but Brianna’s car was nowhere in sight anymore. She had to do this, now.

The inside of the building looked much more friendly than the outside (it just looked lik a blockhouse, sans the overly pink logo), with graffiti art covering the walls. Freddie took the sight in with awe, marveling in all the colors and patterns, from the bottom of the walls to the high ceiling.

Freddie took a few calming breaths as she reached Robin Colvin’s office. She could do this. She could do this.

She knocked on the door daintily, and for a few seconds, no one answered. She started to panic: what if she misheard the date, and she should have been here on another day? What if Colvin forgot about her altogether?

Just when she could feel an impending anxiety attack, a soft ’’come in!” could be heard fromt the other side of the door.

It was as if she stepped into a completely different world; it wasn’t colorful at all, but cold with neutral colors and minimalist furniture, but again, she wouldn’t expect anything else from someone like Colvin. The coldness of the room and the two more people, a man in a suit and a woman in a sharp blazer blinking up at her from where they were sitting besides Colvin at the desk did nothing to soothe her anxiety.

Colvin gave her a small smile, waving her over.

’’Ah, Freddie! Come, take a seat.”

Freddie nodded lamely, pulling up a chair before the desk to face the other three. She felt like she was back in school at an important oral exam.

’’These are Katja Melnyikov and Anthony Stevens, members of our board. We’re gonna ask you a few questions at first, and then we would like to take a look at the drawings you bought here as a reference.”

Freddie nodded, her grip on her notebook tightening. Why couldn’t these people smile? It was unnerving.

The first few questions were basically warm-up questions, about Freddie’s education. She had sent them the CV, so it was all written down, but Freddie wasn’t going to argue. She never had a real job interview before, how would she know how these things work?

Colvin sent her a few encouraging smiles, and Freddie could feel some of her anxiety melt away.

’’How are you with children?” Stevens asked, leaning forward to inspect her face from closer. ’’I’m sure you’re aware that we work a lot around them.”

’’I love them.” Freddie said, and she could see Colvin visibly relax. It never even occured to her she might be nervous her collegues wouldn’t want Freddie. This made her heart flutter happily.

’’That’s great. Are you planning on having kids?”

Freddie gritted her teeth. Oh, yikes. This is so typical. She supressed a smile as she saw Melnyikov rolling her eyes next to Stevens. Colvin didn’t seem too flattered either. They all knew it was such a stupid and lowkey sexist question, but it unfortunately had to be asked.

’’Uh…not in the moment.” Freddie replied, unsure of what to say. This idea hadn’t even crossed her mind, and she felt kind of at unease. If she said she wanted kids, would they deny her the job?

Thankfully, Stevens didn’t push it anymore, seemingly satisfied with her answer for now. All three women breathed a sigh of relief in unison, and Freddie nearly chuckled again.

Melnyikov asked her about why she feels like she would be good for this job. Freddie looked at Colvin who nodded encouragingly. She avoided Steven’s eyes –why was this man staring at her all throughout the whole intervew without blinking!?- and turned to Melnyikov.

’’Creating art had always been my biggest passion.” She replied, blushing softly. ’’I followed the work of your company, and I love what it stands for, uhm…I-I think what you do is simply amazing. Making kids happy via art. This is what I would like to do too, making people happy with what…with what I do.”

Her cheeks were flaming terribly. Shit, she stammered again. They must think she’s a total lost cause. Why would anyone want her anxious ass here?

Melnyikov hummed softly, Stevens continued to stare, and Colvin smiled.

’’May we see your work now?”

Freddie nodded, handing her notebook over. She chewed on her lip anxiously as the three board members skimmed through it, humming softly here and there.

’’I really like this one.” Colvin said, showing the drawing in question to Freddie, and she couldn’t help but smile. It was a drawing of Brianna sleepily slipping her tea, while Regina was on her phone, looking bored out of her mind.

’’It almost looks like a black and white photo.” Melnyikov said, and Freddie saw the first smile on her face since she had been here. ’’I love how warm it is. Are these two women important to you, Freddie?”

’’They are my…my best friends.” Freddie replied. She felt it was safer to lie at first. She didn’t know where this company stood about the LGBTQ community, and it was probably smarter if she didn’t push her luck.

The two women continued to coo at the pictures, praising Freddie at her usage of colors and shades. Stevens was still staring at Freddie. Freddie decided she hated him.

’’Alright, would you please give us a minute, Freddie?” Colvin asked, to Freddie’s surprise. She thought they would call her a few days later, or send her an e-mail, but she wasn’t going to argue. She left the office, pacing nervously around the hall. 

It felt like ages have passed when Colvin finally called for her to come back.

Freddie was nearly trembling in anticipation, shrinking under the eyes of the board members. Why are they doing this, why are they not saying anything!?

Then Colvin extended her hand with a surprisingly bright smile. ’’Welcome to the Pink Fairy, Freddie.”

She was pretty sure she looked insanely stupid with her jaw hanging open and her eyes wide, but she could barely comprehend it. She…she got the job? Just like that? Was she dreaming?

’’Congratulations, Miss Bulsara.” Stevens said, kissing the back of Freddie’s hand instead of shaking it, and that was enough for Freddie to snap back into reality. She couldn’t help but flinch. That wasn’t very professional…

’’Anthony.” Melnyikov sighed, shaking her head, but then she smiled and shook Freddie’s hand. ’’Congratulations. We cannot wait to start working with you.”

’’I…I cannot wait either!” Freddie laughed. She must have looked like a child at Christmas, utterly beaming. Colvin honest to god looked like a proud mother, even though she was probably only about ten years older than Freddie.

’’I love your blouse by the way.” Melnyikov said. ’’Where did you get it from? I have to buy one.”

Freddie’s grin widened. Time to get some victory for her girlfriend as well.

’’My friend made it.” She said proudly. ’’She is on that drawing, the blonde one. She has a boutique called Prime Jive where she sells hand-made clothes like this.”

’’She designed the logo for that shop.” Colvin explained. ’’And this skirt that I’m wearing right now is a ...sorry, what is the name of the designer?”

The designer. Freddie’s heart nearly burst with pride.

’’Regina Taylor. It’s a Taylor skirt.”

Melnyikov hummed appreciatively, smiling.

’’I must check out that boutique.”

Freddie nearly squealed.

Today seemed like a day for victories, big and small alike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Robin Colvin is not even a real person, but I love her so much.


	15. Ice-Cream And Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie confronts Joan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is shorter than usual, and I have to admit I'm hitting a bit of a writer's block with this particular story-I definitely won't abandon this, I just might need more time to figure out what the storyline of each chapter should be!

Freddie definitely felt like she deserved a big tub of ice-cream after that. She just waltzed in there, and got the job right away- that obviously called for a celebration!

She still couldn’t quite believe it. After all the struggles she went through concerning job-hunting, this was a resounding success. She kind of wanted to give Robin Colvin a hug, but that would have been probably very inappropriate- though the woman had sort of took her under her wings. Not to mention, she managed to spread word around about Regina’s boutique. All in all, Freddie was grateful.

Brianna had classes right now so she couldn’t come to pick Freddie up, so Freddie decided to take the bus home, but not before treating herself to a delicious dessert. She was craving one of those triple chocolate ice-creams, with the small pieces of brownie on top…

She must have looked like a fool, whistling and hopping around the shop like Christmas just came early. It kind of felt like it; she could finally, finally use that damn degree, and stop drawing stupid portraits. No, she could create art, actual, real art. And wasn’t that her biggest dream all along!?

She continued humming a made-up silly tone under her breath while she rummaged through the freezer, looking for a frozen treat that would suffice. Maybe she could even buy two tubs, or three, one for herself and one for each of her lovers. She knew Brianna was into fruity tastes, and Regina had and obsession with everything coconut, so maybe she could look for those flavors too…

Freddie was so caught up in her mission of finding delectable ice-cream flavors, that she didn’t even realize the woman standing next to her, only when she successfully managed to step on her feet as she turned.

’’Oh, sorry.” Freddie said, about to give the woman a polite smile; it quickly melted off her face, though.

Joan looked absolutely awkward, standing from one foot to the other; despite being much taller than Freddie, she looked quite small now, hunched on herself like a dog about to be scolded by its owner. She was in her overalls, so she must have taken a break from work, Freddie noted.

’’Hey.” Joan said quietly, fiddling with her own tub awkwardly. She avoided Freddie’s eyes and stared at her shoes instead. Something flared up inside Freddie, and her initial good mood vanished in the blink of an eye.

Sure, again, she shouldn’t be so worked up over Joan. She was just a quick fuck, wasn’t she? And yet, Freddie’s heart ached when all their calls went through unsuccessfully, and she saw that Brianna and Regina were equally dumbfounded. Joan clicked with them way too quick, and it messed with their balance.

’’You haven’t returned our calls.” Freddie scoffed, straightening her back. Even like this, and Joan hunched over, she was still much shorter, but she had to make good use of what she had to appear at least a tiny bit intimidating- if you can call an angrily huffing bunny intimidating, that is.

Joan bit her lip, still not looking Freddie in the eye. It was strange, how her demeanor changed since that night. She was all confident and dominant, ordering them around and teasing them, and now she looked like a frightened child who was caught stealing from the cookie jar. Even the morning after, as she was sitting at their table, eating Brianna’s famous omelette, she was completely different from how she was acting the night before: head bowed down, cheeks red, visibly embarrassed. This woman was truly confusing.

’’I know.” She said eventually, tapping her feet against the tiled floor, fiddling with anything in her sight just so she could avoid Freddie’s gaze.

Freddie sighed deeply, leaning her hip against the freezer. If it depended on her, this wasn’t going to be a short conversation.

’’Why?”

Maybe she seemed like an over-obsessive weirdo, demanding answers after a one-night stand, but she couldn’t help but feel like it was somehow different with Joan. The way she blended into their morning routine, the way she fit in so naturally…there had to be something more.

Joan gave an embarrassing little sound, something between a whine and a snort, before finally meeting Freddie’s eyes for a fleeting second.

’’I mean…I only got invited for sex, right?”

Freddie expected her voice to be teasing again, but it came out uncertain, and if Freddie’s ears weren’t deceiving her, maybe a little…hurt, too?

Alright, this was getting truly very confusing. Joan seemed all too happy coming over and fucking the shit out of them, and now she was acting like she was deceived by them. Something didn’t add up with her logic.

’’Well…” Freddie started, getting a little uncertain herself. She really wasn’t sure how to approach this topic now. ’’Initially, yes. But I guess, that’s what you wanted too, right? You wanted to have sex with us.”

Joan scoffed softly. ’’Obviously.”

’’But then…then it was a little different.” Freddie admitted, feeling her cheeks heating up slowly. Now she was the one avoiding Joan’s eyes.

’’You know…it kind of felt like you just clicked with us. I know it sounds strange, because we don’t even know each other for so long, but somehow it just…it just felt right. The way you were sitting at our table, eating breakfast with us…the way you listened to us talking, like you actually cared…”

’’I cared.” Joan said, so quietly it was barely audible, and yet it made Freddie’s heart flutter. Regina was right, this woman was a witch, crawling inside their minds and refusing to leave.

’’Regina and Brianna feels the same way, you know.” Freddie said softly, and she saw the disbelief written all over Joan’s features.

’’We talked about it. And they both feel the same, that somehow you just…fit in. It’s weird, because we haven’t been together too long, and things are kind of unbalanced, especially with all the stuff going around with the boutique and all that…and then you swooped in, and you made everything even more complicated.”

Joan chuckled softly, muttering a quiet ’sorry’ under her breath.

They were both silent for a while, contemplating their next move. Freddie felt like she bared her soul as well as Brianna’s and Regina’s, so it was now Joan’s turn to give an explanation.

Joan cleared her throat before she spoke, stubbornly staring at the floor still. ’’I don’t really…do emotions, so to speak. I’m used to casual sex, it’s all fine by me. You three, uhm…you three were really nice to me. You know, I…never really experienced being cared for, in any way, so…that was unexpected. And I didn’t really know how to handle this, okay?”

’’So, that was the problem? You got scared?” Freddie asked softly, stepping a little closer, not getting up in Joan’s personal space, but making sure she wasn’t keeping a distance, literally or figuratively alike.

’’I’m not scared.” Joan scoffed, and now she sounded like a petulant child, making Freddie chuckle softly.

’’I just don’t really do all that, that’s it.”

’’Is there a particular reason for that?” Freddie asked, but then immediately regretted it when she saw the look on Joan’s face.

’’It’s whatever.” Joan said, her voice taking on a slightly sharper edge. ’’It’s not like I want to psychoanalyze myself in the middle of a store, Freddie.”

Freddie nodded, blushing. She probably stepped over a line here, she already did by interrogating a one-night stand, but this one in particular seemed like a low blow for Joan. She was right, and Freddie didn’t have any reason to demand anything from her, after all.

’’Sorry.” She said quietly, shuffling her feet awkwardly. Joan’s shyness seemed to rub off on her today.

’’You’re right, I shouldn’t have come on this strong.”

Joan didn’t answer. She seemed to curl in on herself internally, and Freddie hated herself for doing this to her. She obviously had her own reasons, she was an adult who could make her own decisions, and if that decision was to not give a shit about the three women she fucked one night, then Freddie should have respected that. Damn her stupid dreamer heart.

’’I should have probably called you back.” Joan said after a long, out-stretched silence, making Freddie perk up. She was becoming sure that Joan wouldn’t answer her at all.

’’I’m just really not sure what to make of this.”

Freddie hummed thoughtfully. It all made sense, after all. But then again, Freddie was famous for not being able to let things go too easily.

’’Wanna find out?”

Joan raised a confused eyebrow, and Freddie blushed again. This woman was ridiculously attractive, even when she was making the weirdest facial expressions.

’’Maybe you could have dinner with us some day. As a …date, I guess.”

Now she was definitely stirring the muddy waters into a raging flood. Maybe it would have been smarter to just swallow it down and forget about Joan altogether; the last thing they needed right now is a confusing emotional rollercoaster on top of everything else. But Freddie had a feeling that she should try and hold on, because there was something in Joan that captivated them from the start, and not just her toned arms. There was more lying under the overalls clad surface.

Joan was staring at her, gaping like a fish out of water for a few seconds, and Freddie was about to play it off as a joke, or tell Joan that it’s okay, they understand if she doesn’t want to get involved, it’s way too complicated anyways, and just let Joan go on her merry way, but then Joan spoke again.

’’Uhm…maybe. I can’t promise anything, I have a lot of work, but…maybe.”

That didn’t sound too convincing, but at least she didn’t outright say no. Freddie nodded, giving her a weak smile.

’’How about Friday, at 8 in the evening? You know our numbers, and our address. Call us if you wanna come.”

She didn’t add the ’’but really call us, this time” part.

She left the still awkwardly staring Joan behind to pay for her already melted ice-cream. She may have made a big mistake here, or did something absolutely fantastic.

There was no in between.


	16. Portfolio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina applies for a job at a fashion company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We see how Regina's job interview goes after we've covered Freddie's!

Freddie’s resounding success at her job interview managed to hit Regina with a new wave of motivation, and she finished her portfolio in record time. Getting a reference from her teacher was quite easy- ’’of course, dear, you were one of my best students and I’d hate to see that talent go to waste”, and she put a really pretty top together, that she would totally wear if you asked her. All in all, her portfolio looked perfect.

Though she kind of wished she could just send a picture of it via e-mail or something, because carrying the huge cardboard with her was really uncomfortable and embarrassing, as she tried to scramble out of the car with it, trying not to ruin her precious work. But the Mirabelle Fashion Company insisted on the more traditional ways, meaning Regina- and others with big dreams of making it in the fashion industry- had to go in there and prove themselves in person.

Regina usually wasn’t the anxious type- that was Freddie’s or Brianna’s job- but now she couldn’t help it when her stomach twisted up into an uncomfortable little ball. This was her big chance: Prime Jive wouldn’t be able to stand on its own, she needed to try and branch out, to show the world what she was truly capable of. If she missed her chance, then she wouldn’t know how to stand back up and move on.

Her nerves just started buzzing even more as she spotted the other wannabe interns holding their own portfolios; the place was practically swarming with them. How did she even think she had a chance at such a huge company like that, especially when so many people were seeking out the same job as her? Who was she in the middle of that army, what was one struggling young designer compared to at least sixty more!?

She leant against the wall, trying to calm her nerves. She could do this. Freddie waltzed in there and got the job right away, Brianna was absolutely thriving as a professor: she could do this too. 

As the hours went by, her motivation started shrinking a little bit. People came and went, it was a total rush all around, and it did nothing to calm her nerves. A lot of people came out huffing and disappointed, and eventually Regina decided not to look at their reactions anymore. It just made her even more nervous.

She couldn’t help but wonder if she was truly good enough. Maybe the reason people didn’t come to her boutique was that she wasn’t that talented that she initially thought. Maybe she didn’t have it in her. Maybe she should just give up.

If you were a dentist, then you wouldn’t need to be playing guessing games, and you wouldn’t need to doubt yourself- she could practically hear her father’s voice in her ears, and she gritted her teeth.

No, fuck that. There was a reason she left damn dentistry: she wanted to fulfill her dreams, to become the person that she always wanted to be. She cannot back down.

She had been sitting there for at least three hours now, bouncing the giant portfolio on her knees while scrolling through her phone with her other hand. She smiled at the cute, encouraging texts she got from Freddie and Brianna, chock full of heart emojis and motivating gifs. If anything, at least she had her two perfect girlfriends to cheer her up.

Another message came in, and at first she didn’t really check the contact name; not recognizing the number straight away she thought it was from her ISP. Her heart started beating faster when she realized who sent it.

_Does tonight at eight still stand?_

_Joan_

She was a little surprised Joan sent it to her and not one of the other girls, but maybe it was because she was the one Joan bonded with first. Damn her stupid heart for beating so fast at the idea. When Freddie announced she invited Joan over for dinner, Regina was sure the mechanic wouldn’t show up. She was kind of making her peace with her dropping out of their life for good (though that didn’t mean she was too happy about it), and the fact Joan decided to take Freddie up on her offer after all was a very much pleasant surprise. She didn’t quite know how they all managed to fall for Joan so fast and so hard, but she realized questioning things didn’t get them anywhere now. She sent a simple ’yes’ to Joan, leaning back against the wall with a satisfied sigh.

A woman- probably an assistant, with round glasses and a tight bun- poked her head out, looking around the few people that left waiting.

’’Regina Taylor?”

Regina was so antsy she barely recognized her own name, and she needed a few seconds to gather herself. She was aware tripping over her own feet and nearly dropping her entire portfolio was not exactly the epitome of making a good first impression, and her cheeks were absolutely flaming by the time she managed to make it to the room. The assistant sent her an exasperated look before closing the door behind them and moving over to her own desk to mind her business.

Regina liked to think she wasn’t a person to be easily intimidated, but as Jack Saldana, probably the most popular and well-known young designer in Britain looked her up and down from behind his desk, she truly felt herself shrinking.

’’You’re not gonna stand over there all day, I assume?” Jack asked. His voice sounded completely neutral, and Regina couldn’t decide if he was cross with her or not. This might not go as smoothly as Freddie’s interview went…

’’Yeah, sorry.” Regina stuttered, trying not to trip again as she made her way to the desk, standing in front of it uncertainly. There wasn’t a chair placed for her, so she probably needed to stand. Not very soothing, because that way Jack could keep staring at her up and down like a naughty child about to be scolded.

’’Don’t worry about it.” Jack chuckled. ’’Nervous?”

His voice sounded more warm now, and Regina’s lips twitched into a little smile.

’’A little bit.”

’’No need for it.” Jack said, leaning back in his chair and lifting his mug to his lips to take a sip of his tea.

’’Blow me away, sweetheart, and then you’ll have nothing to worry about.”

I wish it was that easy, Regina thought, but she forced a smile onto her face and nodded. She had no idea where to start, or how to start, but luckily, Jack was much more friendly than she thought he would be.

’’Tell me about that portfolio. Pretend like you’re just talking to a friend, explaining why you put each items on it.”

Regina took a deep breath and nodded again. That could work. 

’’Okay, so these are the references that I used from fashion mags. I found them really inspiring, because instead of hiding the bodies’ ’’flaws”, they show how beautiful they actually are.”

Jack hummed, taking a closer look at the pictures.

’’These are very different models you display here. Who’s your target audience?”

’’Well…” Regina chuckled a little awkwardly, ’’would saying everyone would be a little weird?”

Jack laughed heartily. ’’Not weird, it’s definitely a wide category, though. Tell me more about this, I’m intrigued.”

Regina felt her cheeks heat, but not from embarrassment this time: it was the genuine happiness, talking about something she firmly believed in.

’’I don’t think putting models who all look the same on the covers and on the catwalk is very healthy. We raise very high standards, and it’s especially harmful for the youth. I’d try to make my clothes in a very wide range, from the smallest size to the biggest ones; no confectional sizes, no limits. I want my clothes to work on all different body types, and it doesn’t matter if someone is very thin or large, if someone is athletic, tiny, or tall. For me, all bodies are beautiful, and I think this is the message that we need to send. If I…if I’d ever get there, I’d like my models to be diverse too: plus-size women, women of color, disabled women, trans women…I want young girls to see themselves representated like that. They need to see that they are perfect just the way they are, that they can walk the catwalk and be on covers and wear beautiful clothes that fit them perfectly, that they don’t need to be stick-thin, white and tall, that they don’t have to fit into Western expectations of what an attractive woman should look like, if they don’t want that. That’s what I would try to represent with my clothes, that they are for everyone. I’m…I’m also contemplating making clothes for more masculine presenting women too, that would pretty much look like male clothes, just more fitted to their bodies so they don’t have to roll up sleeves and cuff jeans and all that. I just…I want everyone to have a chance at feeling beautiful.”

She didn’t even realize she ranted this all out with one breath until she nearly wheezed at the end, cheeks growing flushed in embarrassment. Jack, though…he was utterly beaming, his perfect white teeth shining like pearls as he eyed Regina almost proudly.

’’You know,” he started, his grin widening, ’’quite a lot has said the same or similar before you.”

Regina felt her heart drop. That basically meant she was nothing special, and now Jack will ask her to come up with something else; but how could she? That was what she wanted, that was her dream, her agenda, if you may.

’’But,” Jack continued, making Regina perk up, ’’it was painfully obvious they were doing it for brownie points. They didn’t have their heart in it, you know? But you…you, on the other hand, are either a very great actress, or you truly believe in this.”

’’I do.” Regina said, looking Jack in the eye intensely.

’’I do believe in this.”

’’See, this is the enthusiasm I need.” Jack grinned, and Regina deflated. He pointed at a picture of Prime Jive.

’’That’s a boutique there? I’d like to hear the story about it.”

Regina couldn’t help the bitter little sigh that left her lips, and Jack leaned forward on his elbows, listening intently.

’’I opened it.” Regina said, and Jack hummed appreciatively. ’’It’s called Prime Jive. I sell handmade clothes, but…it’s not very popular. My teachers at the fashion school said I should try with the boutique first, and only after then I should try with a fashion company. They said I should call out to the folks of the street first, but…it’s not working.”

Jack rubbed his chin thoughtfully, humming. ’’That’s a lovely thought, but a little bit too idealistic. See, people prefer to know what they are buying. And they don’t know with your stuff, because they have no idea who you are. You made the right choice coming here: we’re gonna help you set your clothing line off the ground- I’m loving that top by the way, it’s hella cute-, we’re gonna display a few of your clothes on models, people will see it, they will be into the boutique.”

Regina’s jaw dropped open. Did she hear this correctly? She was aware Jack was still speaking, but her mind was whirring so loud, she couldn’t help but interrupt.

’’Wait…you said you will help me…like…in a very certain way…”

Jack looked confused for a second before waving an almost dismissive hand.

’’Oh, that. Yeah, you’re in. So, what I’m saying is that…”

You’re in.

You’re in.

You’re in.

Regina nearly screamed, but she managed to moderate herself in the last minute and settled for a wide grin instead. It almost seemed to good to be true, but apparently, it was. She got the job.

’’Regina.” Jack said, waving a hand in front of her face. ’’Should I fire you already? Pay attention, sweetie.”

’’Right, sorry.” Regina stuttered, trying to keep the giggle out of her voice. This was officially the most amazing day of her life so far.

’’So, you’re gonna be a paid intern, all the while you’ll have to complete a course here where we teach you all you need to know about actual designing. Then, the clothes you made here will be displayed in the Gala Focus Magazine that we have a contract with it, it’s gonna be around the end of summer, so think of early fall clothing. I would advice closing your boutique in the meantime so you don’t have to pay unnecessary rent on it, and reopen it just after the issue comes out. ’Cause then if it was succesful, people will swarm it.”

Regina nodded, taking mental notes of everything. She couldn’t believe her luck.

Maybe after long months of -no, years, counting her misery in dentistry too- struggling, a little bit of light will shine on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? I'm not totally heartless with these girls.
> 
> Also can you tell I love mentor characters lmao


	17. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joan and the girls have a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup yup, a chapter with -almost- nothing but fluff.

This was ridiculous. Unbecoming, even. Joan has literally never prepared so much for a date in her entire life before. And for what? It’s not like those girls want anything more than a quick fling. Sure, okay, Freddie said that they liked her, like truly liked her, but she could have been lying just to have another great shag. It’s not like it has never happened before.

Joan sighed deeply, pressing her forehead against the cool glass of the mirror. She seriously didn’t know why she was so bothered by the idea that she potentionally didn’t mean more to them; that she was just quick, talented fingers, a clever tongue and a lovely, tight hole. She was so comfortable with this role before, so why was this any different now?

Maybe because she felt the same way, as Freddie explained. That they clicked. Sitting at their table and eating breakfast with them was the most natural thing Joan had ever experienced, and it scared her. It scared her, and it managed to jumble everything up in her head, quite successfully: on one hand, the idea of not having the chance to truly fit into this relationship was strangely terrifying. And so was the opposite of that, for some reason: it had been so long since she was in an actual relationship, and look how that one ended. Was she even ready for such a commitment? Settling down? Those girls were already far out of her league, a fashion and a graphic designer, and a fucking professor. And Regina was doing that portfolio when she was there, aiming further, and if she truly becomes a famous fashion designer, would she look down on her simple, mechanic ass? And Freddie, once she has her breakthrough? And what about Brianna, she was already the most intellectual one out of them, surely she was already looking down on her somewhat…?

All in all, Joan wasn’t even sure which outcome was scarier: never getting to eat Brianna’s omelette again, or cuddling up to them in the morning, or the one where she gets to have all that, and her girlfriends all turn into snobs, once they achieved their goals. Seriously, who was she compared to them?

She had half the mind to call this date off. It was already awkward, and she was still in her own flat, not even with the girls. She sighed, fiddling with the buttons of her shirt. She went with a white one this time, and simple jeans, and suddenly she felt horribly underdressed. She used to be aware that she looked good in anything (those three almost squirted upon seeing her in her overalls, for fuck’s sake), but now she wasn’t so sure anymore. A fashion designer and a graphic artist surely had eyes for these kind of things, and they must think how cheap those materials were…

It would truly be better if she stayed at home and forgot about it all. She was just stressing herself out. She should just stick to quick fucks and leaving immediately in the morning, then she wouldn’t have the chance to work herself up into a frenzy over ridiculously attractive and kind strangers.

But she promised Freddie, and for some strange, inexplicable reason, Joan didn’t want to imagine those mesmerizing, chocolate brown eyes filling with sadness, and those plump lips pouting in disappointment, nor did she want to imagine that adorable smile vanishing.

And she didn’t want to imagine the anger on Regina’s soft features, her rosy cheeks turning pale when she called it off. She didn’t want to imagine Brianna’s lips pursed, a frown creasing her face.

Joan groaned, quickly grabbing her keys and trodding down the stairs before she could change her mind.

She bought a bouqet of roses in the meantime- what the hell was she doing, she never bought flowers for anyone before!-, consisting of gorgeous red, yellow, and white roses. She didn’t know why she picked these particular colors, but they just felt right. She probably should apologize for giving them the cold shoulder, anyways, and they kind of seemed like they liked flowers. Not that Joan knew anything about that, she was never a fan of them herself.

She wiped her hand that was quickly growing damp with sweat on her jeans, taking a big, calming breath before pressing the doorbell. She stood from one foot to the other awkwardly. Realistically, she could still run away if she was quick enough. Just a turn, and then…

Joan didn’t have the chance to chicken out, because the door opened, revealing an utterly beaming Regina, and something warm spread in Joan’s chest.

’’You came.” Regina grinned, sounding almost in disbelief. Joan smiled a little shyly over the bouqet.

’’I told you I would.” She said, way too soft to her own ears, but Regina just smiled, standing on the tips of her toes to give her a gentle kiss on the cheeks. 

’’Is this for us?” Regina asked, petting the roses like she was petting a cute animal. ’’They are beautiful.”

’’Yeah.” Joan croaked, and Regina gave her an encouraging smile.

’’How did you know these were our favorite colors? I love red, Freddie is obsessed with yellow, and Brianna has this white aesthetic going on.”

Joan blinked in surprise. Honestly, she had no idea, she just chose almost blindly.

’’Uhm…”

Regina laughed softly, pulling her inside. Once the door closed behind them, a delicious smell coming from the direction of the kitchen hit Joan’s nose.

’’Spaghetti Bolognese.” Regina announced as she walked her to the kitchen, as if Joan hadn’t been there before.

’’I hope you like it. Brianna makes it really good.”

Joan nodded, spotting Brianna by the stove right away. She was wearing a cute, floral printed apron, and that warm feeling that she felt when Regina opened the door for her twinged inside her once again.

Brianna looked up, giving her a soft smile. ’’Hello, Joan.”

’’Hey.” Joan replied, feeling absolutely dumb. Regina took the flowers from her, grabbing an empty vase and filling it with water, placing the roses in them.

That was the moment Freddie walked into the kitchen, nearly squealing upon seeing Joan. She pulled her into a hug without further ado, and Joan’s entire body was now tingling with that strange warmth as she awkwardly reciprocated the hug.

’’Oh my god!” Freddie squealed after she let go of Joan, staring at the roses in awe.

’’What a beautiful bouqet! Joan, darling, you have fantastic taste.”

Joan bit her lip, but she couldn’t exactly suppress a proud smile as the artistic ones kept cooing over the flowers. Brianna finished the pasta, and she walked over to check them herself, as well as greeting Joan properly.

Joan was a little taken aback when Brianna pecked her on the lips quickly, but Brianna just smiled, leaning closer to inspect the bouqet.

’’It really is beautiful.” She said, and Joan suddenly felt dizzy from the attention.

She hovered, fiddling with her hands nervously as Freddie set the table and Brianna served the spaghetti. Regina filled all their glasses with red wine. Now that one Joan was in dire need of right now.

She felt the eyes on her as she dug in, and she felt herself physically shrinking. She put the fork into her mouth, trying to focus on the taste rather than the three gorgeous women staring at her intently.

’’It’s really good.” Joan said, and Brianna gave an almost tired smile.

’’Thanks. At least I’m doing something right.” Her voice sounded bitter, and it made Joan perk up.

’’Oh, come on.” Regina tutted softly, patting Brianna on the back. ’’There might be something good coming out of it.”

’’Maybe they are just going to raise your wages.” Freddie said with a soft smile, but Brianna just smiled, pushing her pasta around her plate.

’’Uhm…what happened?” Joan asked carefully, and Brianna sighed again.

’’My supervisor at the uni told me that the rector wants to see me on Monday.”

’’But this is not necessarily something bad.” Freddie offered gently. ’’You are a great prof, surely they won’t fire you, or something.”

’’I don’t know, Freddie.” Brianna said quietly, staring at her plate bitterly. ’’He seemed a little gloom…”

’’I hope it’s nothing bad.” Joan chimed in, surprising even herself with how genuine her voice sounded. She just really hated to see Brianna sad and worried, okay?

Brianna smiled at her softly. ’’Thank you, Joan.”

Joan nodded, returning her gaze back to her pasta. ’’How did your interview went? I know that both Regina and Freddie had one.”

’’It went really good.” Regina beamed. ’’I’m now officially an intern at the Mirabelle Fashion Company. And I’m closing Prime Jive in the meantime.”

’’Really?” Joan asked, and Regina nodded, shrugging.

’’Yes. My new boss said that it wouldn’t make sense to keep it up while I’m not a real designer yet.”

’’And she closed it just when I was about to send my employers in.” Freddie stuck her tongue out at Regina playfully, but she kissed her cheek gently, showing she wasn’t really cross.

’’But if that means finally getting onto the right track, then go ahead.”

’’Your employers.” Joan repeated, unable to stop a smile from spreading across her lips.

’’Does that mean you got the job too, Freddie?”

’’Yes!” Freddie said happily, utterly glowing. ’’I did.”

’’I’m…I’m happy for you.” Joan said softly, feeling her cheeks heating up. She turned to Brianna, giving her the most encouraging smile she could muster.

’’And I’m pretty sure it’s all gonna be okay with the rector. Maybe they really just want to raise your wages or something like that.”

’’I hope so.” Brianna said, and now her smile was a tad bit less sad.

The rest of the dinner was spent with mindless chatting, and if Joan wanted to be honest, she didn’t feel nearly as awkward as she thought she would. In fact, she felt totally at ease and relaxed, leaning back in her chair and listening to the girls sharing what happened to them in the meantime while Joan wasn’t around.

’’What about you?” Brianna asked, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin. ’’How’s work?”

Joan was still amazed these women actually cared about her, especially the fact that they were interested in her job, even though she was only crouching under sinks.

’’It’s good.” She said, swallowing her last bite. ’’I got a lot of tips again.”

’’Well, you certainly deserve it.” Regina said gently. ’’Our sink is good as new. You are seriously magical, Joan.”

’’So freaking talented.” Freddie added. ’’I would never be able to learn even the name of the tools, let alone what to pull or push to make things work. It’s such a hard job.”

’’You had to learn a lot, right?” Brianna asked, leaning over her elbows comfortably. ’’It sort of based on Physics too. Certainly not as easy as some people think. I’m always amazed by people who just…know how to fix things. It’s seriously amazing.”

Joan blinked rapidly, trying to comprehend what she just heard. They sounded so genuine. They seriously thought this much of her job? They were…amazed by her?

She looked over all of them, and she could see their eyes practically sparkling as they looked at her, and Joan was scared for a minute her heart will swell so much it would burst.

Brianna was the closest to her, so she grabbed her first to pull her into a deep kiss. Brianna gave a surprised little noise against her lips, but then she quickly relaxed into it, wounding her arms around Joan’s neck to pull her in closer.

Joan felt warm lips attached to her neck, and she turned her head to see Regina nuzzling along her throat, pressing kisses everywhere she could reach. Freddie leaned in too, on her other side, and Joan cradled her jaw to pull her into a kiss before giving one to Regina too, carding her fingers through her soft blonde hair.

The sex wasn’t as frantic and desperate as last time: it was drawn out, long and slow with soft, exploring touches, shuddering breaths and warm lips all over, and Joan felt like she was floating, and definitely not just from the wine she consumed.

She fell asleep in the middle of the bed this time, with Freddie tucked under one arm and Regina under the other while Brianna spooned Regina, her hand reaching over her to rest on Joan’s stomach, occasionally stroking her firm abs gently.

Joan drifted off, sated and happy, and without a care in the world- for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did Joan even stand a chance against her own feelings? I think not :D


	18. Crumbling Kingdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brianna finds out what the rector wanted to talk about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that my university is officially under quarantine, have some uni drama!
> 
> And...this is quite angsty.

Brianna’s stomach was twisting and churning with anxiety, and she was sure she was going to throw up if this continues. She couldn’t even stomach breakfast, no matter how hard Freddie insisted. ’’Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” She lectured her softly, and on other days, her concern would have been adorable, but now it just made Brianna even more anxious. Just looking at food made her feel sick.

She truly had no idea what to expect. Regina and Freddie- and even Joan- kept saying that they will just raise her wages, give her more job, or candidate her to some kind of fancy research trip. Sure, that could happen too- but Brianna couldn’t help but feel that the outcome of this conversation won’t be positive at all. The strange look on her supervisor, Josh’s face when he told Brianna that the rector expects her also wasn’t helping matters.

’’Why don’t you tell me what all this is about?” Brianna asked as they walked up the stairs. Josh sighed, looking at her like he was just accompanying someone before their execution. That was probably not even that far from the truth.

’’I didn’t get any details.” Josh said, scratching at his neck. He only did that when he was anxious, so this was not a good sign at all. Brianna’s stomach flipped again.

’’But Brianna,” Josh started, toning his voice down a little bit so the passing students wouldn’t hear them, ’’you need to be prepared for everything.”

Well, that didn’t sound comforting at all. Brianna felt all the blood rush into her head, and she got so dizzy for a second, she had to grab onto the railing of the stairs so she wouldn’t fall down.

’’Josh.” She breathed, her voice trembling pathetically. ’’Do you think they are going to fire me?”

’’I don’t know.” Josh said, shifting on his feet. He clearly didn’t like this whole thing any more than Brianna did.

The last few steps they had to take until they reached the rector’s office were somewhat of a blur to Brianna: she didn’t quite know how they ended up before the large mahogany door. It was as if she was drunk, forgetting bits and pieces. Once she was so wasted, she totally forgot about the way home from the club. She walked home on autopilot. Now, that was exactly how she felt like. Except now she wasn’t drunk, just on the brink of passing out.

Josh knocked on the door twice, trying to give Brianna an encouraging smile but failing at it quite miserably. He probably didn’t know much, really, but he still knew more than Brianna did, and if that made him this gloom, then seriously, what was awaiting her?

They heard a soft ’’come in”, and Josh pushed on the heavy handle, opening the door and politely letting Brianna in before him.

Brianna haven’t met the rector many times, but everytime she saw him, she noted that he was possibly the scariest person to ever exist. He was tall and very thin, practically skeletal, with his large glasses taking up half of his face. His face was sunken in and sort of greyish, his mouth always a thin line. Brianna always imagined death would look like this.

’’Mr. Hamish.” Brianna greeted him, trying to keep the obvious fear out of her voice. Hamish looked up, his eyebrows creased and his lips pursed even tighter, and Brianna swallowed thickly.

’’Miss May.” He said, his voice raspy as usual. Brianna didn’t like his voice: it sounded too gravely.

’’Please take a seat. You too, Mr. Fuller.”

Josh nodded, pulling up two chairs, one for Brianna and one for himself, and they sat before Hamish’s desk. He looked them over before his eyes stopped on Brianna’s face, giving her a frown that reminded Brianna of a disappointed father.

’’Do you have any idea why you’re here now, Miss May?” He asked, supporting his chin on his bony hands. Brianna shook her head. No, she didn’t. She had no fucking idea what was going on right now.

’’Nothing?” Hamish tried again, and Brianna felt her body tense up. This whole interrogation was weird as hell. She glanced at Josh, but his expression was unreadable.

Brianna shook her head again. The room was already spinning with her. Hamish hummed, scratching at the light stubble on his chin.

’’You are aware of our faculty’s policies concerning intimate relationships between the professors and the students, I assume?”  
Brianna felt utterly confused. What the hell did this have anything to do with her being here now?

’’I’m aware.” She said, looking from Hamish to Josh. Josh still didn’t look at her, he was staring at his feet.

Hamish looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to say something. Brianna swallowed, her gaze shifting. She was trying to put the pieces together in her head, but her otherwise quite smart brain was refusing to cooperate now when she needed it so desperately.

Hamish sighed, fiddling with some papers on his desk before speaking again, realizing that Brianna had no clue what she was supposed to say.

’’Look, Miss May.” Hamish said, pushing his glasses further up his nose. He seemed even more distressed than usual.

’’I’m aware that the age difference can be considered minuscule in this case. You are a young woman, only a few years older than our students, but you are in a position of power compared to them. You are an authority, Miss May. It’s a disconcerning balance.”

Her ears started buzzing so loud, Brianna was sure for a second that Hamish and Josh heard it too. Her heart started hammering inside her chest that seized up painfully. Her brain finally came to life, and the puzzle started to get complete.

She really, really didn’t like where this was going, and why this was going there.

’’You see,” Hamish continued, ’’it is technically an abuse of power. I know what the law says about the age of consent, and most students here are not minors, but there is a reason we made our own special rules. We decided that no matter if someone is legally an adult or not, as long as they are the students of this faculty, they cannot form intimate relationships with the employees, exactly because of this unhealthy power dynamic. We want to make sure to decrease the chances of the misusings of this authority. Now, Miss May, these special rules may not be legally binding, so we cannot make a legal case of it, but we are well in the position of deciding if we still wanna work with an employee who breaks our rules.”

Brianna gripped onto the edge of the table so hard it nearly broke. Her brain was screaming, white noise filling up her skull and her ear canals, throbbing and strobing, and for a second she was sure she was having a seizure.

Hamish saw her distressed state, and he sighed again. ’’I’m not going to lecture you about how inappropriate it is, Miss May, you are not a child, and judging by your reactions, your good conscience can tell that you made a mistake.”

’’My good conscience…” Brianna repeated numbly, her knuckles whitening against the desk.

’’I didn’t do anything!”

’’An anonymous source reported you.” Hamish said. ’’They said they saw you being inappropriate with multiple female students.”

Brianna nearly choked on her own spit. She looked at Josh for help, but he was still staring at his feet, sighing. He couldn’t protect her anymore, not in this case.

She turned back to Hamish; she was aware her eyes were full of tears, but that was the last thing she could care about right now. This all didn’t make any sense. She has never even looked at anyone the wrong way! Why would she? She was well aware of their policy, and she would never consider making a move on one of her students, rules or not. And she was happy with her girlfriends. She would never do anything like that, who would be so cruel to spread lies?

She tried to think of her collegues; some of them might have been a little jealous of her success, some of them might have been a little sexist and not too happy about a young woman on the field, but surely none of them would hate her so much that they would make up such terrible accusations just to weed her out?

’’Mr. Hamish.” She pleaded, her jaw aching as she tried to hold back the ugly sob that threatened to escape. ’’You have to believe me, I didn’t break the rules, and I would never compromise our students!”

Mr. Hamish sighed, tapping his fingers against the desk. It felt like hours have passed before he finally spoke again.

’’It’s not my place alone to judge this.” He replied calmly, and Brianna felt shivers running down her spine. Then whose was it?

’’I’m going to gather the head committee to argue your case. We will examine everything properly. You might be called in for hearings.”

Brianna let out a shuddering breath. Her pulse was thrumming so quickly she could practically hear it. This cannot be happening. She loved her job, and she was damn good at it. She worked so hard to get here, had her dissertation called a piece of trash and thrown back into her face, had her fair share of sexist comments and people not believing in her, and yet she pushed through. She fought tooth and nail to make little, awestruck Brianna May’s dreams a reality: to bring the stars a little closer, to help her understand the world at large, and to give this knowledge away to other young people, who were just as hungry for information as she was. And now, everything she dreamt and fought and bled for, was turning into dust in front of her very eyes.

’’I didn’t do anything.” It was like her brain was stuck in a loop: that was the only thing she could repeat. In other times, her brain was so quick to come up with a witty answer; she could always defend herself. Her father always called her a ’’verbal ninja”, because her words were her weapons. And they abandoned her now, reducing her into a desperately babbling mess, who was unable to defend herself, unable to convince other people that she was innocent, even though she really was, one hundred percent.

’’Your position will be suspended until we are done examining your case. You drop out temporarily, starting with tomorrow. Please, only come back to the area of the University when we call you in. I’ll be e-mailing you the details about your payment in the meantime.”

Maybe he said more, but Brianna didn’t hear it. She rose to her feet, wobbly and dizzy like it was the first time she tried walking. Once again, she didn’t know how she made it to the door, or down the stairs, or out the front door. Josh was close on her heels, talking to her, consoling her or lecturing her Brianna didn’t know, because she wasn’t really in her body anymore.

Once she reached the university’s park, she hunched over and vomited violently, not even caring that everyone saw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.


	19. Ponies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie works on her first project, and she is full of emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a lighter chapter after the angst I dumped on you all! :)

Freddie didn’t want to leave. She kind of wanted to tear herself in two, so one half could stay home, and the other could go out and work. She finally got the job of her dreams, and she got landed her very first project, and she couldn’t wait to work on it; but her heart seized up painfully everytime she thought about leaving Brianna’s side.

Their girlfriend was an absolute wreck, and honestly, Freddie didn’t blame her. Getting accused of misconduct with students, and the- unfortunately- very much realistic fear of losing her job brought way too much misery onto her. Regina mentioned that Brianna was prone to depressive episodes, and now Freddie could experience one herself: in the span of a few days, it seemed like some kind of erosion has attacked her, because the old Brianna was gone to be replaced by someone they could barely recognize. Freddie tried really hard not to break down sobbing everytime her eyes fell on their girlfriend, curled up on the bed, always with her back to them, her hair a tangled, greasy mess. She barely talked and she refused to eat, slowly shriveling away while refusing to be taken care of and to be helped. Regina had dealt with these before, but even she seemed helpless now, a barely veiled panic in her eyes everytime she looked at Brianna, or even when she came up as a conversation topic.

She seemed horribly stressed, her eyes sunken in with dark circles under them, and Freddie felt even more terrible for leaving. She should be here, trying to take care of Brianna too. How could she be so selfish, that she would put her new job before any of them…?

’’I know what you’re thinking.” Regina said with a tired smile, gently caressing her cheek. Freddie looked up, feeling her chest tightening again.

’’Maybe I shouldn’t leave today. Maybe I should call Robin, and…” Her protests were silenced by the shortest, but sweetest little peck on the lips. Regina rubbed her thumbs across her cheekbones comfortingly, sending her another gentle smile.

’’Baby, it’s your job.” Regina said softly, shushing Freddie when she tried to protest again. ’’You shouldn’t abandon it, especially your very first project. I’ll be fine. And Brianna is not a baby who needs watching 24/7. I know how to handle this.”

Freddie sighed, wrapping her arms around Regina’s neck, brushing a few tangled locks out of the way; the blonde didn’t even have time to brush her hair yet.

’’Are you sure?” Freddie asked, unable to mask the worry in her voice. Regina seemed utterly exhausted and emotionally drained, and Freddie didn’t want to abandon her, especially because Regina should be at Mirabelle too. She called her boss and told him that she will only be able to come in for the evening, and the company was welcome to take it off her wage, but Freddie hated to see her sacrificing herself for the sake of her girlfriends.

’’Reg…”

Right in that second, the doorbell rang, making the two women look at each other in confusion. Freddie gently pecked Regina on the lips before going to open the door. Who would come over here at 9 in the morning…?

’’Joan!” Freddie breathed when the door opened to reveal her, standing there in all her tall, muscular glory. She seemed to be not coming from work this time, wearing casual clothes. Freddie had probably never been this happy to see her before.

’’Hey.” Joan said softly, pulling Freddie into a kiss that made her melt. Ever since that dinner date, Joan came over regularly and sometimes she spent the night. They didn’t quite have a word for their relationship just yet, but they were comfortable with each other, and Joan fit in just perfectly. They told her what happened at the university too, and the worry around her eyes told Freddie, that she was probably coming over for this exact reason.

’’We didn’t expect a guest today.” Regina chuckled softly, letting Joan pull her into a kiss and a hug too.

’’How is she?” Joan asked, tucking a piece of hair behind Regina’s ear, making the blonde sigh.

’’Not good.”

Joan hummed, looking over the both of them. Freddie was sure they must have looked a sight, Regina in her pyjamas with the messiest hair ever known to mankind and a constant, grim expression on her face, and Freddie in painting overalls, a little bit more put together, but with the exact same exhaustion and worry on her face.

’’I don’t have to work today.” Joan announced, taking both of their hands into her own. She gave them a gentle look that had Freddie let out a dreamy sigh. Seriously, who was this woman and how could she steal their hearts so quickly?

’’Why don’t I stay here with Brianna? You two need a rest.”

Regina and Freddie let out a surprised little squeak at the same time, and Joan chuckled a little nervously, scratching the back of her neck.

’’You don’t have to…” Regina started, but Joan nodded, seemingly adamant.

’’No, really. I know both of you should be at work now, and it’s my day off. And since we’re…uhm…since we’re a little closer now, I guess…I want to help, okay?”

Her awkwardness made Freddie melt all the time. The flirty, ’’I’m gonna fuck everyone and their mothers too” attitude was a sexy side, but Freddie kind of preferred this softer, sometimes even shy one. It made her seem more real, and it made her fit with them better.

Freddie shared a look with Regina, and the blonde’s eyes softened, giving a tiny nod to Joan. On other days, she would have fought against it harder, but she was truly exhausted now.

’’Thank you, Joan.”

Joan scrubbed her shoe against the floor and sent them a wry smile. ’’Anytime.”

Freddie was about to give an entire litany as a thank you, when her phone pinged. She quickly checked it, and she gasped, horrified to see that she was pretty much running late already.

’’Shit.” She mumbled, quickly pulling on her shoes while trying not to fall over in her haste.

’’I gotta go. Thank you Joan, take care, good luck Regina, fuck, I’m gonna be late!”

She kissed both of them on the lips quickly before grabbing her bag and dashing down the stairs, running like a madwoman to catch the bus. She gave a quiet thank you to God or whatever higher force was up there that they didn’t live that far away from the nearest bus stop. They preferred going by Brianna’s car, but that was clearly not an option now, so Freddie had to make do with the crowded bus.

She squeezed herself up between the seemingly endless sea of people, muttering little ’’sorry”s, and ’’excuse me”s as she knocked into them with her bag. She kept tapping her foot nervously, internally screaming when the bus caught a red light or spent too much time at a stop. She cannot be late on her first workday, that was a terrible first impression!

Freddie practically flew off the bus at her stop; another light in the dark was the fact that the children’s hospital that gave place to her first project was close to this particular bus stop, and Freddie only had to run a few meters to get there. She saw other people in overalls similar to her own, standing around the entrance, and she could see Robin, as well as Melnyikov and Stevens. At least she definitely was at the right place.

’’God, I’m so sorry I’m late.” Freddie wheezed, nearly doubling over. Shit, she was out of shape. Maybe she should cut back on Brianna’s cooking.

Robin sent her a little smile, and Freddie felt herself deflate. She expected her to be mad at her, but she didn’t seem to be.

’’It’s okay, it happens. Anthony, Katja, would you bring them inside? You can start.” Robin said, gesturing at the other artists standing around. Melnyikov nodded, gently shooing them inside, and Freddie couldn’t help but smile. She reminded her of a nice grandma.

Stevens stopped at Freddie’s side, raking his eyes over her, and Freddie felt herself shrinking. She couldn’t quite place the dude just yet, but he was making her very uncomfortable.

’’You look good in overalls, Freddie.” He said, and Freddie couldn’t help but shiver, crossing her arms over her chest in defense. Robin rolled her eyes, stepping closer to sort of wedge herself between him and Freddie.

’’Please, sort out the newbies, Anthony.” Her voice was firm, and Stevens nodded, giving Freddie one last look that had her stomach twist before her went inside to help.

’’Don’t mind him.” Robin said, turning back to Freddie. ’’He always acts like that around young, pretty girls.”

Freddie swallowed thickly, feeling the goosebumps rise on her arms. She didn’t feel like dealing with this again, after being groped and called ugly things when she was scribbling portraits. She hated that job for more than one reason, but entitled, rich old men slapping her ass or staring at her breasts were the worst.

’’I’m gonna keep an eye on him.” Robin promised when she saw the look on Freddie’s face, and Freddie nodded, giving her a weak smile.

Robin gave her a strange look, before toning her voice down, even though no one else was around to hear them.

’’Okay, so Freddie, you’re one of the newbies. Like, the newest of the news. And I cannot help but see that something is off with you today.”

Freddie felt her heart seize again. Will she get fired on her very first day? But Robin seemed so unbothered about her being late…

She was about to open her mouth to explain herself, but Robin continued.

’’I don’t wanna pry, this is not my place. But I need to know if you’re okay enough emotionally. This is a children’s hospital. We are working somewhat separetaly, but we might see kids who are badly injured, or very sick.”

Freddie nodded. On one hand, she was relieved that Robin was simply concerned. Actually, it was surprisingly nice.

’’Thanks for checking in.” Freddie said, and her voice was absolutely sincere. It truly meant a lot: she never had an employer before who actually cared about her.

’’Of course.” Robin said softly. ’’Seriously, Freddie. If you feel like it’s too much, you don’t have to do this today.”

Freddie shook her head, giving Robin a smile. ’’I’m gonna be fine.”

Robin sent her one last look, as if expecting Freddie to back down, before opening the door for her. A nurse joined them and greeted them, handing them both masks and rubber gloves. She led them down a long corridor before they came to a halt before an empty room.

’’This one is very old.” The nurse explained, pointing at the peeling walls. ’’It would be great if you could make it look a little more friendly.”

They exchanged a few details with Robin, while Freddie looked around. The room was small, the walls an ugly mustard color. No wonder they wanted to paint this particular room, it looked way too depressive for children.

The nurse left, and Robin emptied their supplies on the floor. The room was already cleaned, the children placed into another room for the duration of the work; all they needed now was some magic to make it look like a place that children would more comfortably reside in.

’’So, it’s the two of us in here, considering how small the room is.” Robin explained. ’’But if you would rather work on the corridor or the aula, we could arrange that too.”

’’No, it’s okay.” Freddie said, popping off the lid of a bucket. ’’I didn’t know you would paint too.”

Robin chuckled softly, the sound a little muted behind the mask. ’’I’m not just a boring businesswoman. Sometimes I help too, especially our newest employees.”

Freddie laughed, crouching to mix two colors. She sort of already had a vision about the base, and then the rest would probably come naturally.

Just as she stood back up, ready to test the new color she just created, a pair of arms tightened around her leg, and she nearly slipped. She looked down to see a little girl blinking up at her curiously.

’’Hello, there.” Freddie said softly. She didn’t even realize the child coming in, and Robin seemed equally surprised.

’’I sleep here.” The little girl said, pointing around the empty room. She scrunched up her little nose in disgust. ’’Ugly.”

’’It is.” Freddie laughed, putting the brush down as to not smear paint over the kid accidentally. ’’We’re gonna make it look really pretty.”

The girl’s face lit up, grinning up at Freddie. ’’Really?”

Freddie grinned, gently ruffling her hair. ’’Yes. You’re gonna love it.”

’’What should we paint on the walls, sweetness?” Robin asked, bending down to be eye level with her. ’’What would you like to see when you come back?”

The little girl rubbed her chin thoughtfully, before her eyes widened. ’’A pony!” She said, flapping with her arms excitedly.

’’And flowers, I love flowers!”

’’Ponies and flowers it is, then.” Freddie said, saluting her playfully. The little girl giggled, ducking her head shyly.

’’Pretty hair.” She said, fiddling with a lock of Freddie’s hair, grinning. ’’Shiny.”

’’Thank you.” Freddie said, feeling her chest swell. She ruffled the girl’s hair again, making her laugh. ’’You have very pretty hair too.” She carded her fingers through the afro curls, and the girl grinned.

’’My Mum says that too. The nurse don’t know how to brush.”

’’Your Mum is right.” Freddie said, gently bopping her on the nose. ’’You are a beautiful little girl. What is your name?”

’’Jessica!”

’’It’s so nice to meet you, Jessica.” She playfully shook her hand. ’’I’m Freddie.”

’’That’s a boy name!” The girl laughed, and Freddie laughed with her.

’’Well, it’s certainly not as girly as Jessica. But there are some names that are girl and boy names at the same time. Like my name. Or Robin.” She said, pointing at her boss.

’’She is called Robin.”

Robin waved at her, and Jessica’s little mind was clearly blown. A nurse suddenly burst in, wheezing.

’’Jessica, I was looking for you everywhere! I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize she sneaked in.”

’’It’s okay.” Robin said, smiling behind her mask. ’’We just made a new friend.”

Jessica giggled, obediently taking the nurse’s hand as she led her out the room.

’’Bye Freddie, bye Robin!”

They waved her goodbye, both of them grinning. Freddie sighed, staring after the little girl, a strange longing inside her chest. She was so adorable and nice, and Freddie felt strangely comfortable with her around.

’’Developing baby fever?” Robin teased, and Freddie blushed, very grateful for the mask hiding it.

’’I don’t know.” Freddie admitted, shifting on her feet slightly. She would have lied if she said she never thought about it, never toyed with the idea of having kids. But everything was so chaotic now, and her love life was also a little bit messy with Joan’s undefined role in it, so she never thought about it for too long. But that didn’t mean she hated the idea, not at all.

’’You don’t have kids, do you?” Robin asked softly, and Freddie shook her head.

’’I do.” Robin said, her eyes twinkling. ’’I have a son. He’s 10 years old.”

’’That’s great.” Freddie said, dipping the brush back in the paint. ’’And considering you must work a lot, I assume your husband takes good care of him, right? I mean, I’m not calling you a bad mother or anything, I’m just curious.” Freddie stuttered, hoping she didn’t offend her, but Robin just laughed.

’’It’s okay, Freddie.” She said softly. ’’And, well. My husband doesn’t take care of him, but my wife does.”

Freddie nearly squealed. She did get a few vibes, but she didn’t want to assume anything. Her chest was bubbling with the need to overshare, but she managed to hold it back in time.

’’That’s so amazing.” Freddie grinned, and Robin ducked her head, though her eyes were still sparkling.

’’Yes, well…it took some time to get everything right, considering we both have to work a lot, but we manage.”

’’So, it’s a possibility?” Freddie wondered, carefully brushing over the wall. The color looked fantastic. ’’That…all of you, I mean, both of you work a lot, and you still can manage a baby?”

She felt her cheeks heat. Where did that sudden mental image of the four of them taking care of a baby come from…?

’’I’m not gonna lie.” Robin said, using her own brush for the base. ’’It’s not easy. But you can handle it, if you really want to. Why, having plans?”

Freddie quickly shook her head. The last thing she wanted was Robin to think that she was fantasizing about having kids, literally just after she got the job.

’’Not yet.” She admitted softly. ’’Maybe somewhere in the far future.”

They didn’t speak about it anymore, just worked in blessed, comfortable silence. Freddie’s heart fluttered happily as she watched the ugly, original color disappear to be replaced by a lovely lavender one. Now they just had to wait for the base to dry, and then they could use graffiti to make the ponies and the flowers.

While they were waiting for the paint to dry, they sat on a bench and munched on a few sandwiches, relaxed and comfortable. Freddie never would have thought she would find a genuine friend in her in her boss, but she definitely wasn’t complaining.

’’Now you know my private life.” Robin joked. ’’What about yours? You don’t have to share if you don’t want to.”

Freddie blushed softly, looking down on her stained shoes. ’’Well…I have two girlfriends, we live together. And there’s a third girl who might became an item with us.”

Robin whistled lowly, finishing it off with a laugh. ’’Wow, I sure didn’t expect this. But I’m not judging. Was your bad mood in the morning connected to one of them?”

Freddie sighed and nodded, fiddling with her napkin. She felt like she could trust Robin enough now, and so she told her all about Brianna’s case, all the struggles all of them went through, and Robin listened patiently.

’’And now you think you’re being selfish for working, instead of being with her?” Robin asked, and Freddie nodded.

’’I just want to make sure she knows we’re all there for her.” She said softly.

’’Believe me, she knows.” Robin said, patting Freddie on the back in a friendly manner. ’’You are allowed to take care of yourself too. All of you are. This is how you manage to maintain a healthy relationship. We have been together with my wife for 15 years, and we both work a lot and have our own problems, but we manage. Because we know that we all have dreams that we want to fulfill. And sometimes these dreams mean not being able to spend as much time with each other as you want, but we both know how important they are for us. The best you three, four, can do, is to support each other as much as you can.”

Freddie smiled, feeling the ache in her chest dissipate a little. ’’Thank you, Robin.”

Robin nodded, rising to her feet and grinning down at Freddie.

’’Now, let’s go back and paint some ponies.”

Freddie laughed, standing up too and following her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *chanting* I would die for Robin Colvin, I would die for Robin Colvin, I would...


	20. Pillow Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joan takes on the role of the caretaker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get a glimpse at Joan taking care of Brianna in the flat :))

Joan didn’t really know what she signed up for when she decided to stay with Brianna. It almost felt inappropriate, too intimate, maybe, to stay alone with her while the other two were out. But then again, Joan’s role in this relationship was still yet to be defined: she wasn’t sure what she was to the girls, or what the girls were to her. The only thing she knew is that she liked spending time with them, and after they let her in on what happened to Brianna, her protective instincts got kicked into overdrive.

Still, she felt kind of awkward hovering around Brianna, unsure of what to do to make her feel better. She didn’t know if she was even supposed to try and make her smile, or she was just sort of ’’babysitting”, making sure that she was in one piece. Regina didn’t have time to give her advice because she rushed to work right after Freddie did, and so now Joan had to make everything up as she went- well, as she stayed.

She started out with making tea to the both of them: at least she had something to occupy herself with rather than lingering by Brianna’s bed like a ghost. And, tea usually helped her when she was feeling shitty: she was never that prone to depression, definitely not as much as Brianna was, but she had her fair share of shit she needed to deal with. She added just a tiny splash of milk to the tea before carrying the two steaming mugs back into the room.

Brianna didn’t move much from her initial position: she was still curled up in a ball in the farest corner of the bed, her back to Joan, the blanket pulled up to her chin despite the heat. Joan wondered if she even processed when Regina told her that Joan would be on ’’Brianna watching duty” today.

’’I made some tea.” Joan announced lamely, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Brianna didn’t move. If Joan didn’t know any better, she would have thought Brianna was dead. She certainly looked like it.

Joan sighed. This wasn’t going to work like that. She could be sitting here, with her hands extended with the mugs for the duration of the whole day, if Brianna didn’t cooperate with her.

Joan put the mugs down onto the bedside table before crawling further up on the bed, placing a gentle hand on Brianna’s hip.

’’Look,” she started, gently caressing her through the fuzzy blanket, ’’I know it sucks right now. But you have to eat, and you have to drink, and you have to at least try and function somewhat. This is not going to help you.”

Joan cringed at her words internally. She had been told she was terrible at comforting people or giving pep talks, and it was painfully obvious now. But honestly, she didn’t know what else to say. She sure as hell won’t force the tea down Brianna’s throat, so trying to coax her into not giving up was the only thing she could do, even if her words weren’t so motivating than she intended.

And yet, Brianna finally stirred. She gave a soft huff before rolling onto her other side, turning to face Joan. Her face was awfully pale, her eyes red and puffy, and Joan’s heart clenched in sympathy.

’’What am I supposed to do?” Brianna croaked, her voice a little rough from not using it for almost days on end.

’’I lost my job.”

’’You didn’t lose your job.” Joan corrected her, brushing a curl out of Brianna’s face, trying not to wince too obviously at how greasy it was.

’’They just suspended you.”

Brianna scoffed, curling up even smaller, even though Joan thought this wasn’t physically possible, especially for someone so tall and lanky.

’’As if that’s so much better.”

’’I mean, it is, actually.” Joan chuckled softly, placing her hand back on Brianna’s hip, giving it an encouraging little squeeze.

’’You can keep going on from here. Nothing is lost forever.”

Brianna sighed, smushing her cheek against her pillow. She almost reminded Joan of a pouting child, and honestly, Joan kind of wished she was. She always knew how to take care of her brother’s kid, but she had no idea how to handle a depressed adult who just had a mental breakdown.

She fiddled with the blanket, drawing little patterns over Brianna’s hip with her fingertips.

’’You know,” Joan continued, ’’if they won’t find evidence against you, then they can’t fire you. These are serious accusations, Brianna. They will examine the shit out of it.”

She reached back for the mug, handing it to Brianna. Here goes take two. ’’Here, drink this.”

Brianna eyed the mug almost suspiciously, before giving a resigned sigh, heaving herself up into a half sitting position and taking it from her. Joan gave herself a mental high five as she watched Brianna taking a sip, her shoulders slumping slightly as the tea warmed her system.

’’Thanks.” Brianna mumbled into her mug, tapping her fingers against the mug absentmindedly. Joan grabbed her own mug, scooting up next to Brianna and wrapping an arm around her shoulder, letting Brianna mould into her side.

’’The problem is,” Brianna said, surprising Joan. She thought that was the end of their conversation, considering how silent Brianna was for a long while.

’’The problem is, that if someone went as far to accuse me of having sex with my students, then they could go even further than that. I mean, how long does it take for someone to use photoshop, or manipulate a video? They can even blackmail someone to give a false testimony against me.”

’’Watching too much crime dramas?” Joan joked, happy to see that tiny twitch of a smile in the corner of Brianna’s lips.

’’I don’t think someone would spend so much time making you look dirty, to be honest.”

Brianna ducked her head, staring down into her mug. Joan watched her from close: she seemed so strong, so confident and brave, and yet she was so insecure, so easy to break. It was an interesting mix, and Joan found she still didn’t know too much about these girls, or how their life truly went before they met Joan- but Joan knew she wouldn’t mind getting to know more, getting to know all three of them more, to have them reveal these little intricate patterns of their minds, these tiny aspects of their personalities that Joan couldn’t figure out yet. She wanted to know them enough to distinguish every single emotion on their faces, to know what every little nose twitch and blink and hand movement meant. She wanted them to bare their souls to her, not just their bodies. She wanted to know their secrets, but not because she wanted to use them against them: she just wanted to have this kind of trust between them, wanted to be the rock they could hold onto, the steady anchor that kept them balanced when they got accused of horrible things they didn’t commit, when their jobs were too stressful, or when they didn’t find a job at all. She wanted to be there for them in the bad times, and the good times as well. She wanted to be a part of them, truly.

’’I just want to know who hates me so much.” Brianna sighed, pulling Joan out of her thoughts again. ’’I didn’t realize I had enemies.”

’’Don’t you have a hunch?” Joan asked, trying to focus on the current situation instead of daydreaming- again. 

’’Any ideas on who would do such thing?”

Brianna tapped her finger against her chin, humming thoughtfully. Joan could practically hear the wheels turning in her head as she mentally ran through all the options.

’’A lot of male professors aren’t happy that I’m there.” Brianna said, chuckling softly. ’’Some of them still live in the middle ages and think that women belong in the kitchen.”

Joan scrunched up her nose in disgust, but she didn’t interrupt, letting Brianna continue.

’’But they don’t outright hate me. I don’t think any of them would want to get rid of me so much.”

’’Then maybe one of the students?” Joan offered, rubbing Brianna’s shoulder with her thumb comfortingly.

Brianna smiled, shaking her head. ’’I don’t want to brag, but I think I’m a good teacher. They like me. I’ve been nothing but helpful to them, so I don’t think any of them would turn against me like that.”

Joan hummed, resting her cheek on the top of Brianna’s head. She truly had no idea who would do something like that, either: why would anyone make up such a horrible lie?

The shrill sound of the phone ringing nearly gave the both of them a heart attack. Brianna reached for it quickly, checking the contact.

’’I’m sorry, I have to take this. This is my supervisor.” Brianna said, and Joan nodded with an encouraging smile. She could tell Brianna was nervous: her fingers were trembling so badly, she nearly dropped the phone.

’’Hey, Josh. Any news from the university? Well, thanks, I’ve been better.”

Joan waited patiently, pressing a little kiss onto the side of Brianna’s head. Brianna was silent for a while before giving a small sigh, then a little laugh.

’’Okay, thanks. No, no, you don’t need to come over. Stop it, Josh. I especially don’t need flowers. But thanks for the help, really. Call me if you find out anything, okay?”

She declined, and turned back to Joan who gently bopped her on the nose.

’’Should we be jealous?” She teased, and Brianna stuck her tongue out at her playfully. Joan took it happily: it was amazing to see Brianna smile.

’’Not at all. We’re friends. Though he might have a tiny bit of a crush on me, I’m not gonna lie.” Brianna laughed, burrowing back in Joan’s arms. ’’But it’s alright. He knows I’m gay, and that I’m in a happy relationship. He’s not a threat, at all.”

Joan nodded, gently taking Brianna’s hand into hers. She ran her own fingers against Brianna’s, feeling every bump of the bones and joints underneath the skin.

’’What did he say?”

’’They are examining the case. So far, no real results.” Brianna sighed. ’’But at least he fights for me to make sure the case will be dropped.”

’’That’s nice of him.” Joan said, teasingly flicking Brianna’s nose. ’’I hope he doesn’t show up here with a ring. By the way, have I mentioned that I got a marriage offer?”

’’What?” Brianna squeaked, sitting up so quickly she nearly headbutted Joan in the chin, but she ducked away in time.

’’Mhm. I was fixing the washing machine at an old lady’s house a few days ago, and she said I would make a great wife to her son.”

Brianna laughed, leaning back against Joan. ’’And what did you say?”

’’That my heart is already stolen.” Joan said, feeling her cheeks heat at her own words. God, this was so cheesy. Maybe she was rushing headlong, maybe she should keep it down a bit…

The silence stretched on for a while, and then Brianna spoke softly.

’’Is it?”

Joan swallowed, looking down on their joint hands. She felt Brianna squeeze her hand a little tighter.

’’Yeah. I think it is.” Joan breathed. Brianna scrambled up so they were at eye level, looking into Joan’s eyes intently.

’’Does this mean that…you want to be with us? Like, for real?”

’’Do you guys want that?” Joan asked quietly, and Brianna chuckled, lightly swatting her hand.

’’I asked first.”

Joan rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help but smile. ’’That’s fair. I…yes. I want that. I want to…I want to be with you. All of you.”

She closed her eyes shut so she wouldn’t see Brianna’s reaction. But she didn’t need to see it: she only had to feel it as she kissed her on the lips, her hands cupping her cheeks.

’’Of course we want that too.” Brianna whispered against her lips, before pecking her again softly. ’’We have wanted that for a long time now.”

Joan nodded, gently taking Brianna’s hand and lifting it to her lips to kiss her knuckles.

’’So, we’re official?” She checked, and Brianna nodded, giving her another soft smile.

’’We are. And thank you, Joan.”

’’For what?”

’’For staying here and making sure I was okay. It means a lot.”

Joan nodded, pulling Brianna back into another kiss, unable to stop smiling.

She couldn’t wait for the other two to come home: they will find the beautiful surprise of Brianna feeling a little better, as well as a fourth, now official girlfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws confetti* these babies are official af


	21. Think Outside The Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina steps onto the path of becoming a real designer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this is so short- I had a major anxiety attack while writing it (not because of the chapter, it was completely unrelated), and I couldn't make it longer, but I really wanted to post a chapter today!

Regina was faintly aware she definitely didn’t look like someone who was just about to climb the ladder to the big fashion world, what with the deep, dark circles under her eyes and her messy ponytail. She didn’t have time to wash it or do anything more complicated with it- and she really tried not to cringe at how greasy her own hair was; she wanted to wash it in the afternoon, but since she went in earlier than expected, that plan was gone-, and she didn’t have time to find a better outfit, so she had to make do with a pair of jeans and a floral shirt that could be considered cute if you blinked hard enough. Regina also went withouth make-up, and though she was very well aware of the fact that she was quite an attractive woman, she couldn’t help but feel a little self-conscious right now. It was technically her first day too, and she wanted to make a much better first impression than calling in that she was being late and then showing up to work in something she would rather wear at home than out on the streets. Regina could only hope Jack won’t be too petty about it: he seemed like a really nice guy, but he was clearly a perfectionist who wanted the best from both himself and his employees, and right now, Regina knew she wasn’t quite doing her best.

She all but shot out of the elevator, nearly knocking the coffee out of someone’s hand- she hoped they were just an intern like her, and not like, a CEO or something-, as she made a mad dash towards the room the course was held in. She tore a door open, only to realize she missed the room, hastily apologizing to the heavily making out couple she successfully disturbed. She had better luck with the next door, and she breathed a huge sigh of relief as she spotted Jack in his light pink shirt, in the middle of explaining something to the people inside.

He looked up at Regina, raising a perfectly arched eyebrow, and Regina blushed, ducking her head shyly. Everyone looked up and turned around to see who the intruder was, and Regina felt like a student late from Maths class.

’’I thought you’d be coming in for the evening only.” Jack said. He raked his eyes over Regina’s slightly disheveled appearance, but he didn’t say anything.

’’Uhm, yeah. Things changed.” Regina stuttered, trying to force a smile onto her face. The other interns were staring at her, some of them whispering to each other, and Regina definitely didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to know they were talking about her.

’’Well, thank god we just barely started.” Jack said, gesturing dramatically at the people sitting around in a circle.

’’Pull a chair over for yourself, Sweetie, and join my cult.”

Regina laughed softly, getting a chair from the corner of the room and pulling it over. She enjoyed Jack’s sense of humor and his personality in general: she was scared that she was going to end up with a dictator of a boss, but it seemed like Jack wasn’t planning on torturing them too much- not yet, at least.

Most people were sitting around with laptops, some with paper based notebooks, blinking up at Jack curiously. It really is like school all over again, Regina thought giddily as she pulled her laptop out of her bag.

’’So, as I’ve been saying,” Jack started, ’’I need you all to forget about what you learned in fashion school.”

A surprised little growl ran through the small crowd, and Jack chuckled.

’’Yeah, I know. Look, school is all great, education is all great, but when it comes to fashion, you need much more than a degree and the knowledge of different materials. You need actual skills, you need a great eye, you need discipline.”

He sent a sharp look towards Regina, making her shrink in her chair. She thought she would get away with running late, maybe she misjudged Jack’s character…?

Jack laughed when he saw her reaction, and he waved a dismissive hand. ’’I’m just messing with you, Sweetie.”

Regina laughed in disbelief, as well as let out a relieved sigh. She was pretty much highly-strung already, the adrenaline from running like an idiot to get here in time, as well as the worry over Brianna made her quite anxious, and she would have preferred if Jack didn’t give her mini heart attacks, but she appreciated the ice-breaking joke.

’’What you will also need,” Jack continued, going back to being serious once again, ’’and that is the most important thing, so open your little ears and your little eyes and listen to Mama Jack very carefully; you need imagination. I want you sweethearts to go wild, to dream, to mess with weird colors and weird patterns, to ruin fabric and then fix it, to experiment. I don’t want to see bland dresses and boring crop tops: let your imagination run free. Be creative.”

Regina typed down everything, nodding along enthusiastically. She could do that: she could have a wild imagination, and she could come up with interesting concepts. Or at least she liked to think she could: she never really had to step out of her comfort zone before, but she did like a challenge.

’’I’m gonna run a test on you: I want to see a piece of clothing made by everyone by the end of next week to see what you’re capable of.”

An excited murmur ran through the interns, everyone already typing down ideas: Regina could see some keywords written down by the people around her, and she blushed. She really, really wanted to do something big. She wanted to show everyone what she was truly capable of. She wasn’t a failed designer with an unpopular boutique: she could do much better than that. She promised her scowling parents that people will know her name: people will replace Chanel with Taylor, and everyone will be all over the clothes she would be making.

A boy next to her glanced at her empty screen, giving her a kind smile.

’’Hey, don’t overthink it. It’s gonna be fine.”

Regina smiled back at him, giving a small shrug. ’’Well, I just really want to achieve my goals. I…didn’t exactly have an easy path to fashion, so to speak.”

’’Oh, I feel you.” The boy laughed softly, carding his hand through his short red hair.

’’My parents hated the idea. They wanted me to be a doctor like my sister.”

Regina smiled again, looking back at the boy and seeing herself in his eyes: that defiant, angry child, refusing to listen to their parents and chasing their dreams instead. And they were here now, both of them set on track to find their way in this world, against all odds.

’’Same here.” Regina said softly. ’’They wanted me to be a dentist.”

’’And what convinced them, that you would make a better designer instead?” He asked, and Regina ducked her head.

She would have lied if she said she didn’t miss them, or the fact that they practically disowned her for following her dreams didn’t hurt like hell: her brother was the only one she kept in touch with. That was a wound that would probably never heal, no matter how famous and succesful of a designer Regina might become.

’’Nothing.” She said honestly. She gave the boy an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

’’Sometimes, you have to cut people who don’t support you out of your life, even if you’re connected by blood. That is, if they don’t understand you. But they might still come around. And if they don’t…you can always find yourself a new family.”

She thought on her girlfriends, and she gave a happy sigh: they were more her family than her real family ever was. No matter what happened, what was happening right now and what the future may hold, they will always be there for her.

The boy nodded, humming softly. He seemed to be contemplating what Regina said.

’’Well, thanks for the advice.” He said eventually. ’’I’m George.”

’’Regina.”

They shook hands, then Jack called off the break and continued telling them ’’all you need to know about real deisgning, sweetie pies.”

If there was something Regina knew for sure, that whatever may come next, she was finally at the right place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone has a hunch about which show Regina's storyline, and which character Jack is (very loosely) based on? :D


	22. Results

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brianna gets called in for questioning concerning her case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand we find out the truth about the accusations!
> 
> Also I really miss you guys's comments! :(

The tender care of her two- no, three, Joan was officially with them now, and the thought still made Brianna feel all giddy inside- lovers definitely helped her climb out of that dark hole she wedged herself into in the past few days. Now the only problem was, that her depressive episode transformed into a major anxious one.

She received a call the evening prior, that they wanted to question her about the accusations. Great. Just when Brianna was starting to feel a little better, and didn’t see everything in black anymore, this managed to completely set her off once again.

’’They are calling me in to fire me.” Brianna breathed, rubbing at her cheeks in frustration. ’’This is it, guys…”

’’They are calling you in for questioning, that’s what the rector said.” Regina corrected her calmly, placing a comforting hand on her knee. ’’They told you that you might be questioned during the investigation, remember?”

’’They just want to know your side of the story.” Freddie said softly, brushing Brianna’s curls out of her face gently. ’’Now you have a real chance to defend yourself.”

’’You can tell them that you didn’t do anything.” Joan added, shooting her a warm smile. ’’That this is just some kind of bullshit spread by someone who has it out for you for some reason. Obviously, don’t say bullshit.”

This finally made Brianna laugh a little, and she deflated, letting her tense shoulders slump. She knew, deep down, that her girls were right, but she couldn’t help that cold fear that settled into the pit of her stomach and refused to leave. She didn’t expect to be accused of misconduct, basically, so who’s to say things won’t take a turn for even worse? So far, she heard nothing positive back; from what Josh told her, it seemed like they couldn’t really get from A to B in the case. But then again- just as Joan said- maybe this was actually a good thing, meaning that they didn’t have enough evidence to support the idea that Brianna might be really guilty. Josh mentioned that they questioned a few of her students too, but they all –without any exceptions- said that they couldn’t imagine Brianna doing something like that. So, at least she definitely had their support. Now the only question was, what will the committee decide?

’’It’s gonna be alright.” Regina said, standing on the tips of her toes to reach Brianna when she finally hauled herself onto her feet to leave. She cupped her girlfriend’s cheek, pressing a chaste, but nonetheless sweet kiss to her lips.

’’Have you actually considered that they might be telling you that they know it was a misunderstatement, and you can go back to teaching right away?” Regina laughed softly, and Brianna couldn’t help a shy little smile from spreading across her lips. Maybe. This was also a possibility, but Brianna didn’t want to hope too hard, in case the result would be disappointing.

’’Just be confident and tell them the truth, that you didn’t do anything.” Freddie said softly, kissing her cheek. Brianna sighed, turning her head to the side to nuzzle Freddie’s neck. She was eternally grateful that her girlfriends never once thought that she really did this, not for a second. Brianna surely wouldn’t have survived it if they believed she would be capable of something like that.

’’Knock ’em dead.” Joan added with a soft little laugh, pulling Brianna into a hug. The fact that she was comfortably and openly affectionate with them now made Brianna’s heart melt. At least she will always have these perfect three if things will really go awry.

They walked her to the door and waved to her all the way to the car, and Brianna couldn’t help but laugh when she realized she was looking like a soldier leaving for war, and her wife waving at her with her little handkerchief. Well, she had three girlfriends, not wives, and she wasn’t going to war, but the thought made her smile nonetheless.

She sat in her car for a long time, nervously drumming on the steering wheel. She really, really wanted to run away, to get out of this awful situation- but she had to do this. She had to go in there and explain herself. And she was not allowed to freeze now, to panic and forget how to defend herself. No, she was going in there and telling them the truth, as convincingly as possible, that these accusations were not true at all.

Brianna took one last deep breath before she got out of her car. A few students who didn’t have classes right now were sitting outside in the park, and Brianna’s heart fluttered when she saw how their eyes lit up at the sight of her.

’’Brianna!” A young boy yelled, running up to her like an excited child. Since she was the youngest professor, she told her students they were absolutely free to call her Brianna instead of the more formal Miss May.

’’Are you coming back?”

’’I hope so.” Brianna laughed, trying to mask the nerves in her voice. It made her insanely happy that her students also didn’t believe in this disgusting lie, and were waiting for her to come back.

Just when she thought she couldn’t get more support than that, she managed to run into a little rally that was apparently fighting for her to come back. Brianna felt tears sting her eyes as she saw the small group of students with their transparents standing under the rector’s window and screaming that Brianna wasn’t guilty.

’’Guys, it’s okay.” Brianna said softly when she reached them. ’’Don’t anger him, alright? I need to talk to him.”

The students stopped shouting, but they all gave their best wishes to Brianna. This was exactly the reason Brianna loved teaching here: these students were all curious, kind souls. Despite the small age difference, Brianna sometimes felt like they were her kids in a way.

She saw more smiling, supportive faces inside the building, and she couldn’t help but grin. She made her way up the stairs amongst the students who all wished her good luck, and her good mood started to dissipate witch each step she took.

She reached the rector’s office, and she took a deep breath. She can do this. She has to. Brianna tried to ignore the sound of her heart pounding like a hammer as she opened the door, stepping inside the lion’s den.

The first emotion that ran through her as she closed the door behind her, was that this was very strange. Instead of the committee sitting around and scowling at her like she expected, she only saw Hamish behind his desk, and Josh leaning against it, staring down at his feet.

’’Miss May!” Hamish greeted her, almost cheerfully, and Brianna sneakily pinched herself to know this wasn’t some surreal dream. What kind of questioning was this? And why did Hamish look almost happy? God, maybe they really are firing me, Brianna thought. Maybe the committee is not here, exactly because they have already decided, and this wasn’t a questioning at all, just a quick goodbye to her. Maybe that is why Josh was looking so grim, and that is why Hamish looked thrilled. He wanted to get rid of the bad seed, clearly.

Brianna swallowed thickly, taking a few uncertain steps towards the desk. Hamish didn’t offer her to sit down, he just started speaking:

’’I’m going to be honest with you, Miss May. The committe couldn’t really decide your case.”

Brianna raised an eyebrow. What? Then why were they even discussing this?

’’I’m not sure I understand, Mr. Hamish.” Brianna admitted softly. She looked at Josh for help, but he was still staring at the floor.

’’But thank God we know the truth now.” Hamish said, making Brianna’s eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. This was just becoming more and more ridiculous with each passing second. This was a major contradiction: they couldn’t decide, but they found out the truth? How, exactly?

’’The truth…?” Brianna tried uncertainly, feeling her heart do a double flip inside her chest. Did they really find out the truth…or what they believed to be the truth?

To her biggest surprise, Hamish offered no explanation. Instead, he looked at Josh, and Brianna was surprised to see a flash of anger in his eyes.

’’Mr. Fuller?”

Josh sighed deeply, shifting on his feet. He looked exactly like he did when he presented the news to Brianna that the rector wants to see her on that fateful day, and it did nothing to make Brianna feel any calmer.

’’The committee dropped the case.” Josh said, and Brianna could have screamed. She was free. They knew she wasn’t guilty. But even through her happiness over the fact, she couldn’t help but notice how gloomy Josh still seemed to be.

’’It was a false accusation.” Josh said, and Brianna was surprised to see him shrinking.

’’By me.”

Brianna looked from Josh to Hamish, looking for any sign that would indicate this was some kind of weird prank. All she could see was the disgust written all over Hamish’s face, directed at Josh, and the massive guilt on Josh’s face.

’’What?” Brianna croaked. She couldn’t believe this. Josh was her friend, why would he do something like that?

’’I would like to apologize for this mess, Miss May.” Hamish said, sounding almost guilty. ’’You can come back to teaching whenever you like. You’re going to receive all the wages that you missed during these days. We would like to discuss with you the candidates for the position of your new supervisor, as Mr. Fuller is leaving our faculty.”

Brianna’s head was buzzing like a swarm of bees. She just couldn’t put the pieces together, leaving the puzzle messy and incomplete. What the hell was this? Why would Josh do this to her, just what in the hell was going on here!?

’’I believe you two need a lot to discuss.” Hamish said, nodding towads the door as a polite ’’get out”.

Brianna managed to squeeze out a quiet a quiet thank you before she followed Josh outside. He was still hanging his head, looking like he was about to collapse any minute. Yet, Brianna couldn’t feel sorry for him. At all.

’’How could you?” She asked, once they were out of earshot. Josh sighed, wrapping his arms around himself as if he was cold.

’’I’m sorry.” He said, avoiding Brianna’s eyes, and that just made her all the more angrier. She trusted this person, and he stabbed her in the back, and Brianna didn’t even know why. She was done being coy and shy and forgiving to people who would treat her like garbage. She wasn’t a scared student anymore: she had more power than that.

’’Look into my eyes.” Brianna demanded. Josh didn’t move. ’’I said, look at me!” Brianna snapped, startling him. Josh finally looked up, looking like a child scolded by his mother. Except, he did much worse than a kid ever could.

’’How could you do this to me?” Brianna growled, her hands balling up into fists against her side. ’’I thought we were friends!”

’’That’s exactly why!” Josh replied, his voice uncharacteristically small. 

Brianna arched her eyebrows in question. ’’What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

’’I…” Josh started, gulping. ’’I couldn’t handle being around you anymore, and not having you. I love you, I’m in love with you!”

Brianna scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. This explanation made no sense, as surprising as it was.

’’And you wanted to show your love by claiming I’m fucking my students?” Brianna huffed, and Josh sighed, shaking his head.

’’I wanted you gone.” Josh admitted. ’’I couldn’t bear this anymore. You will never love me back, because you’e gay, and I hate it.”

Brianna felt bile rise up in her throat. She was absolutely disgusted with Josh right now. She trusted him , she considered him her friend, and this is what he did: all because he couldn’t handle his feelings not being reciprocated.

’’Well, let me tell you what I hate.” Brianna said, feeling a fresh wave of anger flare up inside her. ’’I hate that you did this to me. I hate that you lied, and I almost lost my job because of you. I hate that you would abuse my trust like that. And I…I hate you, Josh. Seriously.”

’’But I confessed!” Josh said, grabbing Brianna’s hands. ’’I realized it was a mistake, and I told them the truth, because…because I love you.” He leaned in to kiss her, and Brianna reacted on autopilot, yanking her hands away and slapping him across the face as hard as she could.

The force made Josh stumble against the wall, and he stared up at Brianna in disbelief, rubbing his red cheek.

’’You are such an entitled dick.” Brianna snarled. ’’You were okay with ruining my life, just because I didn’t love you like that back.’’

’’I swear, I’m sorry.” Josh tried, but Brianna wasn’t having it anymore. She couldn’t care less about him feeling sorry now.

’’Good.” She said simply. She turned her back on him, but she looked back over her shoulder one last time.

’’You know, Josh,” She spat, making him look up, ’’even if I wasn’t gay, I would never date someone like you.”

With that, she left him, not caring that he kept calling her name. It was time to cut the toxic waste out of her life.

And it was time to claim her rightful place back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts about the reveal? :D


	23. Blast From The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why is that when things are going so well, something awful has to happen again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, my angst slipped out again. But well, this story was never meant to be 100% fluff.

’’Are you okay?”

Regina looked up with a confused little hum. She was so deeply lost in her thoughts, for a second she forgot where she was or what she was doing.

She shook her head, slowly coming back to reality, and she sent George a small smile.

’’Yeah, sure. Sorry for clocking out.”

George laughed softly, waving a dismissive hand. ’’It’s alright. What’s bothering you?”

Regina hummed, smoothing the material down before answering. Plenty of things, starting with what she was supposed to get out of this blouse she was working on, dreams and nightmares about her future as a fashion designer- fueled by Jack’s insistence on wanting to see perfect work, and nothing less-, and ending with the mess that happened with Brianna just a few days prior.

She still couldn’t believe Josh really did this. Regina has met him, and he seemed like such a nice guy, offering Brianna help and supporting her fully when she was just a struggling newbie in the field. Sure, it was quite obvious he had a little bit of a crush on Brianna, but he knew about Regina from the very start, and he seemed okay with the fact that Brianna was gay and in a happy, committed relationship.

This truly reminded her of the fact that sometimes the people you trust can hurt you the most. Wasn’t that what her own parents did too? They had their disagreements, sure, but Regina didn’t expect them to practically disown her for following her dreams and refusing to have a job that she had about zero interest in. And yet, look where she ended up.

’’There was a little bit of drama at home.” Regina admitted, pressing down on the pedal of the sewing machine, making it let out a satisfying little whirr.

’’Oh.” George said softly, giving her a small, kind smile. ’’Do you want to talk about it?”

’’I hope you guys use other things too, not just your mouth.” Jack teased as he popped up next to them, startling George and making Regina chuckle.

’’We are working on it.” Regina promised, gesturing at the piece of clothing she was working on for the big ’’test” Jack has chosen for them. Jack hummed, rubbing his chin thoughtfully as he inspected it from up close.

’’Tassels, huh?” He asked in a surprised tone, but there was a little grin tugging on her lips that made Regina smile.

’’I usually hate them.” Regina admitted with a little laugh. ’’But you said we should think outside the box, so this is what I’m trying to do.”

’’You’re challenging yourself.” Jack said, beaming proudly. ’’You know, I was sure I made the right choice by taking you in, and you just keep proving me right.”

Regina ducked her head sheepishly, blushing softly. Finally being praised for her work, instead of getting her dreams called bullshit, and then having her boutique and every work she put into it ignored, made her heart flutter happily. It finally felt like things were on track: she was aiming towards her goal to be a real fashion designer, her relationship was thriving, especially now that Joan officially joined them too, Brianna got her well deserved justice and could go back to fulfilling her own dreams, and Freddie was absolutely glowing ever since she started working at the Pink Fairy Studio. Things were going so well, sometimes it felt like it was just too perfect.

’’So, what kind of drama are we talking about?” Jack asked curiously, taking off his sunglasses with a dramatic gesture. ’’You sweethearts can tell Mama Jack everything.”

Regina laughed softly, switching the sewing machine to a higher function. ’’Well, my girlfriend almost got fired because an idiot started spreading rumors about her. And she trusted that idiot, and I was just thinking about how quickly things can fall apart.” Regina admitted, and Jack hummed softly.

’’Well, that sucks.” He said. ’’But you said almost, does that mean she didn’t get fired, after all?”

’’Yeah.” Regina answered, smiling. ’’She is alright, and back to work now.”

’’But that’s great!” George said, giving her a smile. ’’Or are you worried that you can’t trust anybody now?”

’’Well, I wouldn’t put it that way.” Regina replied with a little shrug. ’’But I think I will be more careful who my friends are from now on.”

’’You can trust me.” George promised. Jack nodded with a little wink, making Regina laugh softly.

Well, she really did hope so. The last thing they needed was even more drama just after they recovered from the one prior.

Joan eyed the mannequin with a suspicious look. She was really glad none of her girlfriends were around to see her get spooked by it, thinking it was an actual person. But in her defence, why was this mannequin standing in the corridor, anyway?

To be honest, Joan didn’t know much about the mindset of artists, or people interested in fashion in any way. Her way of thinking was completely different, much more realistic and calculated instead of floaty and dreamy. The thought, that there were two idealistic dreamers- Regina and Freddie-, and two realists- Brianna and herself- in their relationship made her smile. They truly clicked well together, balancing each other out just perfectly.

She poked at the beaded necklace the mannequin was wearing with a frown. Was that considered pretty? She never really wore jewellery, but even she could tell this was mad ugly. Or maybe she just didn’t understand true art and fashion.

She hoped Regina will be done soon: she was starving, and she kept fantasizing about that burger place she saw on the way here. She decided that after picking up Regina, they should pick something up to go and bring home to the other girls. Maybe they even had vegetarian options, so Brianna wouldn’t have to starve either.

’’Joan?”

Joan was sure her heart just stopped for a second at the sound of her name- or more like, the sound of the voice that called it. This can’t be, right? It was probably just her kind of tired, and very hungry mind playing games with her. This would be too ridiculous to be real.

But as she turned around, she was terrified to see that unfortunately, it was very real.

She felt the fine hairs on her arms stood on end, and she bit her lip so hard she nearly drew blood. And the worst thing, Holly was smiling at her like she just ran into one of her good friends.

’’Long time no see.” Holly said, giving her a smile that made Joan’s nerves sizzle. Why was she here? What the hell was she doing at a fashion company? And why did she come up to Joan to chat, with no regards to the fact she broke her heart into a million pieces?

She didn’t reply, just stared back at Holly, who was seemingly confused that Joan didn’t reciprocate her friendly greeting.

’’So…what’s up with you?” Holly tried again, and Joan felt like she was nearing the end of her patience. Why? Just…why did Holly have to show up out of nowhere, when everything was going so well, when Joan was happy? Why did she have to come and bring the awful memories back, blowing a huge hole through Joan’s self-confidence that started to solidify again, with the help of her girlfriends, just with her mere presence?

’’Nothing.” Joan spat, causing Holly’s eyebrows to shoot up to her hairline.

’’What is wrong with you?” Holly asked, crossing her arms across her chest. ’’You don’t need to be so hostile.”

’’Don’t I?” Joan snarled, feeling all the blood rush to her head in anger. How did Holly not see what her problem was with this whole conversation?

’’I think we aren’t exactly friends, Holly.”

’’Just because we broke up?” Holly chuckled, rolling her eyes. ’’It’s been years.”

’’You have no idea,” Joan growled, ’’what you did to me.”

’’Oh, come on.” Holly huffed, shaking her head, looking almost offended. ’’We weren’t right for each other.”

’’Oh, I know.” Joan mocked, feeling her anger rise more and more with each passing second. ’’Because I’m crouching under sinks, being the lowlife I am, why you save lives.”

’’Exactly.” Holly said simply, like this was the most natural thing in the world, and Joan wished she had superpowers and she could teleportate Holly out of here somehow.

’’It is important in a relationship, that the parties are on the same page.” Holly said in a lecturing, monotone way, like Joan was a particularly stupid person who wouldn’t understand otherwise. And Joan knew that was exactly what Holly thought of her.

’’It’s not a shame to aknowledge that you are not as intelligent or sophisticated as some other people.” Holly said, smiling condescendingly.

’’What are you doing here, anyway? Did the toilets flood?”

Joan blinked quickly to hold back her tears. She hated how Holly still held that power over her, that she could shatter everything with a few words, like everything she has built up didn’t matter anymore. Suddenly, she was back in their little flat, watching Holly packing her stuff and slapping her across the face in a metaphorical way by basically calling her a nobody. All the scars that healed by the power of time and the love her three girlfriends gave her, tore up again and started oozing fresh blood.

’’I came to pick up my girlfriend.” Joan said quietly. Holly gave a laugh before cooing, and the sound sent shivers down Joan’s spine.

’’Aw, your girlfriend is a fashion designer?” Holly tutted, sighing. ’’Joan, Joan, you truly cannot learn. If she is not completely stupid, she will leave you too. You have to provide, and you can’t do that if your girl is a thousand times more sophisticated than you will ever be.”

Joan drew in a sharp breath, but before she could react, the door behind them opened, and Regina stepped outside with a warm smile.

’’Hey.” Regina said softly, kissing Joan on the cheek in greeting. She pulled back with a frown when she saw the strange look on Joan’s face.

’’What’s wrong?”

’’So, you’re her girlfriend, I assume.” Holly said, making Regina raise a confused eyebrow. Right in that second, George walked out too, waving at Holly.

’’Oh, Reg, she is my sister, Holly. Holly, Regina and I are taking the same course here.” George chirped, clearly not realizing the mess he just walked into. His eyes shifted to Joan, and he gasped.

’’Wait, you…Joan?”

’’You guys know each other?” Regina asked, looking from Holly to George and then Joan, trying to make sense of this all.

Joan didn’t reply; she just turned her back on them and stormed out, way too fed up with getting her heart broken all the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another character we need to deck.


	24. Storm Clouds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All Joan knows is heartbreak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...this is...angst.

Joan slammed the door shut with such fervor, all the perfume bottles and deodorant sprays trembled on the shelves in the bathroom, along with Freddie, who nearly fell out of Brianna’s lap as the sudden noise startled her.

’’What the hell?” Brianna groaned, clutching a hand over her quickly beating heart. She managed to catch glimpse of Joan disappearing in the bedroom, and then Regina showed up too, looking as confused as Freddie and Brianna felt.

’’What’s wrong with her?” Freddie asked, once she was past the danger of having a heart attack. ’’Did you two have a fight?”

’’No.” Regina said, looking towards the bedroom where Joan just disappeared. ’’I have no idea what has gotten into her.”

’’Okay, but something clearly happened, though.” Brianna said softly. Regina spread her arms helplessly, shaking her head.

’’Nothing happened. She came to pick me up, then she stormed out, and I could barely catch up to her. She hasn’t spoken a word to me all the way home.”

Brianna and Freddie shared a look. That didn’t sound right: Joan finally seemed totally happy and comfortable with them, seemingly much more relaxed and confident in her role in their relationship. She spent so much time at the girls’ apartment now that she practically lived with them, and when Regina jokingly mentioned they should buy a bigger bed so Joan could stay permanently, she didn’t seem too phased by the idea. In fact, it seemed like she really liked the thought. So, this weird behavior made no sense at all.

’’We should talk to her.” Freddie offered, slipping off Brianna’s lap. Brianna nodded, rising from the couch too, and the little trio walked up to the bedroom to see about this strange incident.

’’Shouldn’t we let her cool off a little bit?” Regina spoke, biting her lip anxiously. ’’You guys didn’t see how she was like on the way home, she was practically boiling.”

Her eyes suddenly lit up as if in recognition, giving her girlfriends a strange look.

’’We ran into someone.” She said, a gasp leaving her lips. ’’Maybe that is why she was acting so weird!”

’’Who did you run into?” Brianna asked, an uncomfortable feeling settling into the pit of her stomach. Joan never really talked about her past, all they knew is that she had a brother, her father was unfortunately dead, and that she always wanted to be a mechanic. It seemed like there was a big chunk of her life that she buried so deep, that she refused to talk about it.

’’There’s a boy, he’s an intern like me, his name is George. It was apparently his sister, and it seemed like her and Joan knew each other.” Regina explained.

Freddie sighed, shaking her head with a slightly grim expression. ’’I don’t like this, girls.”

’’I don’t like this at all.”

Joan was torn between sobbing face down on the bed and tearing the whole room into pieces. She couldn’t believe this just happened- everything was going so great, so perfect, why the hell did Holly have to show up right now?

She couldn’t help but constantly replay her words in her head, and in the end, she just wanted to tear her own brain out and chuck it out the window. She was not intelligent, not sophisticated, she was a lowlife, a nobody, stuck in one place. She was lesser.

_If she is not completely stupid, she will leave you too._

Joan groaned, burying her face in her hands. This was exactly what she was so scared of when she started realizing for the first time that she might have feelings for these three girls: that they were all so much better than her, than she will ever be. Because seriously- who was she compared to someone like Holly, who could save someone from a painful death with a scalpel? Who was she compared to Regina, who is going to make gorgeous clothes and her clothing line will end up on magazine covers? Who was she compared to Brianna, who is teaching an entire new generation of young scientists? And who was she compared to Freddie, who could make children’s dreams come true with a brush or a spraying can?

She truly didn’t provide anything for them. She didn’t understand Freddie’s artistic skills or Regina’s fashion sense, and she sure as hell didn’t truly understand how the solar system worked. She couldn’t offer them advice, couldn’t support them fully, because she lived in a completely different world. They were so close to another, and yet they were so far away, practically worlds apart.

The last time she was truly in love was with Holly- she planned on fucking proposing to her at one point. She could see them growing old together, having kids and pets and a beautiful house with an adorable little garden. She thought they would be together forever.

And how did that one end? Holly basically told her Joan didn’t deserve her, and that she couldn’t stay with someone like her, someone whose job was nearly not as important as her own. Holly left her, alone and broken, shattering Joan’s dreams of a happy life together.

And now she was sure she loved these girls- years after Holly, she finally felt like she moved on and could finally love someone like that again. Once again, she was daydreaming. Of a bigger house where they lived together, of kids- just thinking about the four of them looking after a small baby melted her heart. They could finally have cats, because Freddie was constantly whining about wanting a kitten. They could be happy together, the four of them.

Maybe this was a mistake: believing that this could actually happen. She promised herself she would never fall in love again, and that she would never get her hopes up, to save herself from another potential heartbreak. Yet, this is exactly what she ended up doing. She fell in love, with people who were all way out of her league, and she started fantasizing like a stupid, lovesick teenage girl.

There was a faint knock on the door, and Joan sighed, closing her eyes shut. She didn’t want to talk about this. She was sure her girlfriends will demand an explanation- but what was she supposed to say? It wasn’t enough that she was such a nobody, now she should admit she is a weak crybaby too? God, she really was just digging her own grave, possible from the day she met these girls.

The door opened, and her girlfriends poked their heads in, looking at her with such worry in their eyes, it almost melted Joan’s heart. Almost. Right now, nothing could really help.

’’Oh, darling.” Freddie breathed, practically dropping to her knees in front of Joan, with her usual, adorable dramatics, but Joan was way too exhausted to find it cute this time. ’’What happened?”

’’Nothing.” Joan grumbled, not reciprocating the touch when Freddie took her hand into hers.

Regina sat on one side of hers, and Brianna on the other, completely surrounding her so she wouldn’t have a chance to escape, and for the first time in a long time, Joan felt like she was being suffocated by them.

’’Who was that girl, Joan?” Regina tried, her voice a mixture of soft and determined- it was clear she wouldn’t let this go. None of them would.

Joan sighed, shaking her head. She had enough already, why couldn’t they just leave her alone!?

’’It doesn’t matter.” Joan spat, stubbornly staring down at her feet. ’’Stop interrogating me.”

’’Why are you being mad at us?” Brianna asked softly, sounding disappointed. Exactly what Joan needed right now. ’’We didn’t hurt you, did we?”

’’Not yet.” Joan scoffed quietly, hoping her girls didn’t hear it- no such luck, apparently.

’’What do you mean?” Freddie asked, confused. She was blinking up at Joan innocently, and now Joan just hated herself even more.

’’Nothing.” Joan sighed, biting her lip. She just wanted this conversation to be over. She just wanted to stop thinking.

’’I’m just tired. I think I need to rest for a little bit.”

’’You can.” Regina said, an unrecognizable emotion swirling in her sky blue eyes. ’’After you told us what the hell was this all about.”

Joan growled, rubbing at her cheeks in frustration. How could they not see how uncomfortable she was? Why couldn’t they just leave her alone, why did they have to keep pressing, when all she wanted was to be alone, away from everyone who could potentionally hurt her?

’’It doesn’t matter.” Joan repeated adamantly. ’’I just…I want to be alone, for a little while.”

Brianna sighed, placing a hand over hers gently. ’’Look, how can we help? I’m pretty sure we could find a way.”

’’Of course you could.” Joan chuckled bitterly, her gaze shifting. ’’You are all so fucking smart.”

Heavy silence fell on them, and Joan thought they didn’t hear her, but then Regina broke the silence again.

’’What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Regina asked suspiciously, and Joan sighed, feeling tears stinging her eyes again. They truly didn’t understand her, and she didn’t understand them. They didn’t belong together. Holly was right.

’’I just…” Joan started, swallowing thickly as her throat seized up. ’’We are on completely different intellectual levels.” She didn’t even realize she was repeating Holly’s fateful words from that awful day.

Freddie’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline, and she shifted on her knees to lean closer to Joan.

’’I…I don’t know what you are talking about.” She admitted, and Brianna and Regina looked equally confused. Joan drew in a sharp breath, feeling her chest tightening uncomfortably.

’’I don’t feel like I belong here with you.” Joan said finally, blinking to hold back the annoying tears. Here she was, crying like an absolute wreck. How lovely indeed.

’’What? Why?” Regina gasped, looking genuinely panicked, her eyes wide and scared. ’’Joan, what’s wrong?”

’’We are just…too different.” Joan sighed, biting her lip. Brianna squeezed her hand tighter, rubbing a comforting thumb across the back of it.

’’But…isn’t that great?” Brianna tried, but her smile was a little forced. ’’Opposites attract, right?”

’’Yeah.” Freddie said, trying to smile, but it resembled a snarl more as she was clearly struggling to hold back her tears.

’’This is why we work.”

’’YOU work.” Joan clarified, squeezing her eyes shut, trying her best to keep the tears at bay. ’’But you are all better off without me.”

The three girls let out a unified gasp, and Joan felt like a dagger has been pushed straight into her heart. It wasn’t enough that she was not a suitable girlfriend to them, now she hurt them too. She really didn’t deserve these three angels.

’’Are you…are you breaking up with us…?” Regina whimpered. She had no qualms about holding the tears back; she let them flow free. Joan avoided her eyes, so she wouldn’t break down too.

’’Maybe it’s for the best.” Joan whispered, hanging her head. She heard a pitiful little sob, and she hunched in on herself.

’’Joan, please…” Freddie was openly sobbing now, rising to her feet, but she just hovered around Joan, unsure of what to do.

’’Can we just talk about this?”

Joan snifled, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve. She wished they could, but she knew it was better for her girlfriends. They will soon realize how much better everything was before she came along: now they could be free and happy again without her.

Brianna was crying now too, albeit more quietly than the other two, just snifling silently, avoiding Joan’s eyes.

Joan sighed, feeling a shiver running down her spine as if she was cold. She hated how everything fell apart around her all the time.

But at least her girlfriends could be happy: the three of them belonged together, smart and sophisiticated and perfect, all of them with big dreams and great ambitions.

They deserved so much better than Joan Deacon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my defence, I'm crying too.


	25. Family Portrait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is hurting since Joan left, and on top of that, someone comes to visit Regina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of a bittersweet chapter- angsty, but not as angsty as the one prior. Check it out to see what I'm talking about!

Regina wasn’t feeling too well- neither of them did, not since Joan just got up and walked out of their lives without giving an actual explanation. To be honest, Regina still couldn’t believe that actually happened. The whole thing felt like some kind of strange, surreal dream, and she kept waiting to wake up, to see Joan sleeping in bed with them, her hair mussed and her cheeks pink from sleep, or at their table, sipping at her coffee. She expected Joan to be with them still.

It just didn’t feel right. There was no actual build-up, no signs that it would happen. Joan initiated making their relationship official, she joined them willingly and happily, and she seemed perfectly comfortable with the girls. Just as Regina - and Brianna and Freddie too- noticed from the start, she fitted in. She worked well with them.

And yet, she was the one who ended it, for seemingly no reason.

Brianna handled it better than Regina thought she would. She was miserable, of course, but she didn’t slip into such a major depressive episode like she did after the false accusations. Regina couldn’t help but think that maybe this time, she was too emotionally exhausted to be truly depressed, and somehow, this was even worse.

Freddie was a mess. She woke up crying about Joan not being there anymore, and went to sleep crying about the same thing, pretty much. It sounded like an exaggeration, but she was truly suffering, absolutely heartbroken and confused.

And Regina was somewhere in between. She sort of ping-ponged between feeling like she had no will left to live, and turning into an emotional mess in the next second. But if there was one thing that was constant, it was the feeling of utter confusion. She just couldn’t wrap her mind around it: even on that day Joan broke up with them, she was acting in a totally normal way, giving no indication that she would be leaving them just a few hours later.

Regina couldn’t help creating conspiracy theories, in those free moments when she wasn’t sobbing her eyes out: this whole mess had to be connected to George’s sister. Joan looked like she saw a ghost just by standing next to her, and they clearly knew each other- but who could that girl be, if she managed to set Joan off so much? There really was no real reason for Joan breaking up with them. The things she started sprouting off didn’t sound like words that would actually come out of her mouth. What was this whole deal about them ’’not being on the same intellectual level”? Why did this even matter? Why was Joan so insecure about it, even though she clearly loved her job, and didn’t feel ashamed of it?

Regina just wanted to understand the root cause, to maybe fix this somehow. They had no chance to make things right if they didn’t even know the full story.

Joan’s absence affected everything- Brianna just barely went back to teaching, and her energy levels were already running low, due to the fact Joan filled her mind constantly.

Freddie was also not at the top of her game- Robin Colvin even offered her that she could take a few days off after seeing Freddie so miserable.

Regina wasn’t in a much better state. She wanted to ask George about what he knew, but first she needed some time to calm down. She had a strange, inexplicable rage towards that boy, due to his mysterious sister, even though Regina knew he probably had nothing to do with this awful chaos.

Jack let them all work from home today, and Regina was eternally grateful that she didn’t have to smile and laugh at her collegues while she was pretty much dying inside. And it was good to be alone in general, not having to console anyone else but herself.

Her sewing machine at the flat was a little ragged, not as modern as the one at Mirabelle was, but at least the constant whirring and whines it kept letting out was louder than her thoughts for once.

Not loud enough to mask the sound of the doorbell ringing, though, and Regina groaned, pulling her feet off the pedals. There goes her alone day, she thought bitterly as she smoothed down the fabric before she rose to her feet. She hoped it was just some idiot asking her to return to Jesus, or trying to sell her a mixer that could cure cancer, or whatever other bullshit they were on that day.

’’I’m coming!” She yelled when the person rang again, shuffling out to the hallway to get the door for them.

Regina expected a lot of things. A missionary of some sort, someone selling something, a friendly neighbour, someone from work. She even hopefully expected Joan, even though she had a key to their flat now.

But she sure as hell didn’t expect her mother, whom she hasn’t seen in years, standing in the doorway.

She wanted to slam the door shut in her face. She wanted to yell and send her the hell away, to tell her what an awful mother she was for disowning her own kid, just because she chose a different career path than the one she wanted for her.

But she didn’t do any of these: she just stood there, frozen on the spot, unable to say or do anything.

Winifred swallowed audibly, shifting from one foot to the other, seemingly unsure of what to do. She hasn’t changed much in the past few years: the lines on her face got a little deeper, and her hair was cut a little shorter, but she looked too painfully similar to the day she told Regina she wasn’t welcome in their house anymore.

’’Regina.” She said, her voice wobbly, as if she was going to start crying. ’’Can I come in?”

Regina drew in a sharp breath. She didn’t want to let her in, especially not now when she was dealing with enough shit as it was. But there was a stupid little, longing voice inside her that spoke up, that child she buried long ago, crying for her Mummy.

’’I don’t know what to say.” Regina admitted quietly, feeling traitorous tears already stinging her eyes. ’’I don’t know what you want.”

’’I want to talk.” Winifred said, fiddling with her hands. She looked nervous- about talking to her own daughter. Well, considering she essentially abandoned her, it made all the sense in the world.

’’About what?” Regina asked. She started shivering as if she was cold, and she wrapped her arms around herself protectively. Maybe this is just a dream, this whole chaos that went down in the past few days: maybe Joan didn’t leave, and her mother is not here now.

Winifred let out a shuddering breath, staring down at her feet. ’’Please, Regina.”

There was a moment of silence, an interlude where Regina could have closed the door before her, figuratively and literally too. But the kid inside her started crying louder, and she took a step back, letting Winifred inside.

’’So, this is where you live.” Winifred stated, looking around the flat. Regina felt her chest tighten uncomfortably, the feeling of hurt and anger washing through her once again.

’’Are you gonna make a comment about how I would live in a nice little villa now, had I been a dentist?” Regina spat, feeling her stomach twisting with nerves and rage. Winifred shook her head, her cheeks turning pink in embarrassment.

’’No.” Winifred said so quietly, Regina barely heard her. 

She sighed, crossing her arms across her chest. She had no idea what her mother wanted, after years of not giving a single shit about her own kid, and it made her antsy. She just wanted this conversation to be done and over with.

’’Why are you here, Mum?” Regina asked, and her own voice sounded too choked up to her own ears. Winifred blinked rapidly, but Regina could still see the tears in her eyes.

’’I came to apologize.” Winifred said, taking a cautious step towards Regina before halting uncertainly. ’’I am so terribly sorry for what we did…for what I did.”

Regina stared back at her, trying to make sense of this all. What prompted this? She had so many questions, and she wanted her mother to answer them, right now.

’’Why did it take you so long?” Regina asked, feeling her throat seize up painfully. Years have passed, with her constantly hurting because her own parents didn’t want anything to do with her.

’’I have no excuse.” Winifred admitted, her gaze shifting to her feet. ’’I was angry at you, for not doing what I wanted. And this was a terrible mistake. You…you deserve to have dreams on your own. We should never have held you back.”

Tears started streaming down Regina’s face before she could stop them. Years of pain and anger and loniless filled her up until she was bursting with them, and now they needed to spill out.

’’You cut me off.” Regina whispered brokenly. ’’You and Dad…you wanted me gone. Can you…can you imagine what that feels like? To be told your own fucking parents don’t want you anymore?”

Winifred snifled, wiping at her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but Regina wasn’t done yet.

’’You tried to keep Clark from contacting me too. You have no idea, how much it hurts, Mum. Can I…can I even call you Mum? Do you even consider me your child?”

Regina started sobbing at that point, loud and unabashed, but she didn’t care. She wanted her answers.

’’Of course I do!” Winifred cried, reaching for Regina before pulling her hands back. ’’That’s why I’m here now…God, Regina, I have never regretted anything so much in my whole life! We were awful to you, I was awful to you, and I don’t expect you to forgive me!”

That caught Regina a little off-guard. Wasn’t that why she came here in the first place?

’’You don’t?” Regina asked, and Winifred shook her head with a shaky sigh.

’’No. You have every right to hate me and your Dad. We did a horrible thing, and I don’t think we deserve to be forgiven for it. But I had to come and see you.”

She walked over to Regina, stopping before her. She uncertainly touched her hand, not knowing whether she was allowed to hold it or not.

’’You did nothing wrong.” Winifred said, fresh tears streaming down her cheeks. ’’I used to be mad at you for nothing. I just wanted you to know that, and that I still love you.”

Regina gave a little choked up sound, clutching onto her mother’s hands. ’’You hurt me, Mum.” She whimpered, not caring how childish she sounded. ’’This was the most terrible thing anyone has ever done to me.”

’’I know.” Winifred whispered, squeezing her hand. ’’And believe me when I say that I am terribly sorry.”

’’You cannot expect me to forget about it that easily.” Regina snifled, wiping at her eyes. Winifred nodded, giving her a weak smile.

’’Of course. I don’t expect you to do that.”

She looked over Regina, and her smile grew a little wider. ’’You look amazing.” Winifred said, gently tucking a piece of hair behind Regina’s ear.

’’So beautiful and healthy. Clark told me that you have three girlfriends now.”

Regina couldn’t help but chuckle, ducking her head a little shyly. ’’Something like that.”

Winifred gave a soft laugh. ’’I didn’t believe him at first. But you know, whatever makes you happy. And I really do mean that now, Reg. I don’t know if you believe me, but I do.”

Regina nodded. She definitely needed more time to get over this, but the fact that her mother at least made an effort to try, eased some of the icy grip around her heart that has been there for years. She wouldn’t fly back into her arms just yet- but maybe she could open the door just a crack.

’’Do they make you happy? I know Brianna does, she always did, what about the other two?”

’’They do.” Regina replied, sighing as the feeling of Joan gone settled back in. ’’Though we are…sort of taking a break with one of them.”

’’I hope it will work out for you.” Winifred said, giving her another smile, and this one, Regina returned.

’’And I mean that about everything. Clark also told me you’re interning at a big fashion company. Regina, I swear, I hope it will work out. You fought really hard for this, and we didn’t exactly make it easy for you. You deserve to achieve everything you have ever hoped for. You deserve to be a big fashion designer, to be famous, to have a gorgeous boutique, to have a happy relationship with people that you love, to have kids, and pets, and everything you want.”

’’Don’t rush ahead.” Regina laughed softly. ’’But thanks.”

Winifred nodded, biting her lip shyly. ’’I tried to convince your Dad to come too, but…he will probably need even more time to come around.”

’’That’s not surprising.” Regina chuckled bitterly, and Winifred sighed.

’’I need to go. It was so great to see you again.”

She walked past Regina, and Regina sighed. She would have lied if she said this didn’t mean a lot now. Sure, this was a little late, and Winifred really made too big of a mistake for Regina to forgive her, just because she cried and wished her happiness, a clothing line and kids, but still, some of the ache inside her dissipated. It felt like she was handed somewhat of a clean slate- and she really needed this now, amongst all the chaos that was happening around her.

Her mother’s hand was already on the door handle, when Regina called after her:

’’Mum?”

Winifred turned around, giving her a curious little smile. ’’Yes?”

Regina swallowed, fiddling with her hands. ’’If I…If I’ll ever make it…will you come to my fashion shows and stuff?”

Winifred’s face lit up, and it made Regina’s heart throb.

’’Of course.” Winifred replied softly. ’’I can’t wait.”

And now, for some reason, Regina believed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regina has quite a lot of family issues- obviously, I couldn't just let them stay in the background.


	26. Broken Wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are easy to shatter by a pair of rough hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAJOR WARNINGS on this one for attempted rape! Seriously, please, skip this one if it's triggering for you- stay safe!

’’Seriously, Freddie. If you’re not feeling well, you can just take the day off.”

Even though she was pretty much feeling miserable 24/7, Freddie couldn’t help but smile. Robin was so understanding: they were practically swimming in work with renovating the children’s hospital and planning their next project already, but she would have been willing to let Freddie stay home if needed. To be honest, Freddie kind of contemplated it. She didn’t really know how much help would she be, constantly crying and moping and mourning a relationship that she didn’t even realize would slip away from her. Everything was going so well, and she just didn’t, couldn’t understand what the hell happened.

But then again, had she stayed at home, she would have had nothing to occupy herself with: at least she could focus on drawing and brainstorming, hopefully shutting Joan- or more like, the lack of Joan- out of her mind a little bit while she was working.

’’No, I’m gonna be fine.” Freddie said, making Robin let out a soft sigh on the other end of the line.

’’Look, I will be out for the day, but if you need anything, you can just call me, okay?”

’’Okay.” Freddie said, trying to mask the disappointment in her voice. She made really good friends with Robin, and today would have been a lot more bearable if she was there to give her a pep talk, but she had to make do with what she had.

’’One last chance to back down.” Robin said, as if she felt Freddie’s hesitation through the phone. ’’You can still stay at home.”

’’Actually, I’m already in the studio.” Freddie chuckled softly, looking out of the huge window. She wasn’t needed at the hospital today, so she stayed in to sketch for their next project. Robin gave a sigh on the other end, which turned into a soft chuckle.

’’Alright, well, if you wanna work so much…” Robin snickered. ’’Are you sure you’re gonna be okay all alone?”

Freddie sure hoped she would be. So far, she had been under Robin’s protective care, and this was the first time she was almost completely left alone- Melnyikov and Stevens were there too, but it wasn’t the same as being mentored by Robin. Especially with Stevens.

Freddie had a really bad gut feeling about the guy. He constantly stared at her, and made comments- maybe not too alarming ones, but Freddie has met enough shitty people in her life to know it was better safe than sorry. Even Robin seemed a little wary around her, and that wasn’t a very comforting thought.

’’I’ll be fine.” Freddie repeated, trying to put some cheer into her voice. ’’For real, Robin. Don’t worry about me.”

Robin gave a soft hum, then she fell silent. It appeared as she was about to say something more, but changed her mind. ’’Okay. Good luck, Freddie.”

’’Thanks.” Freddie hang up with a sigh, looking over the city spreading at her feet. In a way, it was still a little unbeliaveble that she ended up here. She went from a teen with no ambitions to a girl who desperately wanted to be an artist, to an exhausted, disappointed young woman who was always held back from doing what she wanted to do the most- and now, she was working at this amazing studio. Seriously, other than Stevens, she liked everyone here, and had a lot of fun working.

She was right about the power of getting lost in art: the moment she picked up her pencil, all her troubles seemed to get forgotten instantly. All she could focus on was contouring the lines, splashing colors and making the picture in her head come alive on the paper.

She ended up drawing a cartoon style turtle with huge glasses, balancing a backpack on its back. Their next project would be school art, and Freddie decided to go nerdy on that one. This was one of those moments when she wasn’t worrying about her art: she just let the pencil slide over the paper as if it had a mind on its own. Sometimes Freddie toyed with the idea of drawing with her eyes closed- sometimes she worked on full instincts, and honestly, she wouldn’t have been surprised if she managed to draw a decent picture, even without seeing the process.

Another thing art was really great for, was filling Freddie up with some extra optimism. Somehow when she was creating, she always felt like things are gonna get better. As the colors shined, as the characters came to life, a calming, gentle thought perked up inside her brain: life wasn’t that awful, after all. She did achieve her dream job, she was here, working for this amazing studio. Regina was on her way to become a fashion designer- and Freddie knew right well how much she struggled. She was there from the start, helping her design the logo and watching as Regina got mental breakdown after mental breakdown. She suffered through the lack of interest in the boutique, the pain it caused to all of them, and especially Regina. But now, she was on the right track. And Brianna was back to work, doing what she loved the most, not having to be afraid of getting sidelined again. And as for Joan… who was to say, that she wouldn’t come back to them one day?

The thought made Freddie feel giddy, and she ended up scribbling a little heart over the turtle’s head. It hurt as hell right now, and it didn’t make any sense, but maybe this was only temporary. Maybe Joan would change her mind, and come back to them. Maybe everything will work out in the end, like how it always seemed to do.

’’That’s cute.”

Freddie nearly screamed, dropping her pencil before clutching a hand over her chest. Her heart was pounding so fast, she thought she was going to have a heart attack right there.

’’Ah… you scared me.” Freddie laughed nervously. Stevens hummed, his eyes lighting up in a way that Freddie didn’t like at all. He always reminded her of some kind of predator, a shark circling around its prey.

’’I didn’t mean to.” He said, and he was probably aiming for a warm tone, but he didn’t really manage- especially considering that he kept ogling Freddie again.

Freddie swallowed thickly, avoiding his eyes to turn her attention back to her sketch. She really didn’t feel comfortable with Stevens in the same room alone.

Stevens took a step closer, standing next to Freddie. He was so tall, towering over her, and Freddie felt a shiver running down her spine. She glanced up to see how far the door was. Too far for her liking. How didn’t she notice Stevens coming in? 

’’I heard Robin is out today.” Stevens said, his tone unrecognizable. Freddie nodded, biting her lip.

The silence was too long and uncomfortable, and Freddie desperately wanted to get up and run away. She started thinking through all the excuses she could use to leave the room right in that second, but before she could come up with anything, Stevens touched her arm.

His skin was cold and dry, and Freddie felt frozen down to her core. She risked a glance at Stevens, and he was smirking down at her wolfishly, and that did nothing to soothe Freddie’s anxiety.

’’Why are you avoiding me?” Stevens asked, moving even closer until he pressed himself into Freddie’s personal space. Freddie tried to take a step back, but Stevens’ grip on her arm tightened.

’’I know Robin is your mentor,” Stevens rumbled, ’’but I’m your boss too. You shouldn’t be disrespectful.”

’’I’m not.” Freddie whispered. Her voice was shaking so terribly, she couldn’t raise it any higher. What the hell did this man want from her?

Stevens tutted, bringing up his other hand to caress Freddie’s cheek, making her shiver. She felt frozen on the spot. She couldn’t move, even though she wanted nothing more than to run away screaming.

’’You should be more grateful to me.” Stevens snarled, cupping Freddie’s jaw in such an aggressive way, it made Freddie hiss from the pain. ’’You wouldn’t be here without my vote, and what do I get in return? You don’t even look at me.”

He let go of Freddie’s arm, only to slide it onto the small of Freddie’s back. She felt paralyzed by the fear: it was happening again, but this time, she had a feeling Stevens won’t stop at just some groping like her old employers did.

’’I could get you kicked out of here in a heartbeat.” Stevens continued, his hand sliding lower to squeeze Freddie’s ass. She finally snapped out of her stupor, and tried to break free, but Stevens was stronger, pulling her flush against his body.

’’Don’t think you’re hot shit.” Stevens growled, possessively grabbing Freddie’s butt with both hands, pushing her against the table. ’’You’re not even that talented, you should be happy you ended up here at all.” Freddie tried to kick at him, but he limited her chances to move by completely pressing himself against her. Even her arms were trapped between him and the table. She felt tears stinging her eyes: her head was filled with white noise. She knew what she was supposed to do in theory, but her body didn’t obey her mind, just hang there limply as if it has given up the fight already.

’’But there are some ways to show your gratitude.” Stevens chuckled, slipping a hand beneath Freddie’s dress.

That finally managed to kick her instincts into gear, and she freed her hand, slapping Stevens across the face as hard she could. He stumbled back, and Freddie used to oppurtinity to make a run for it.

She didn’t get far enough: Stevens grabbed her and pulled her back, growling into her ears.

’’Oh, you really shouldn’t have done that.” He snarled, groping Freddie’s breasts, his nails digging into the skin above her the dress’ neckline.

Her voice finally returned, and she trashed in the lock of Stevens’ arms. ’’Somebody help!” She screamed at the top of her lungs, kicking out blindly while trying to pry Stevens’ hands off her body. ’’Help!”

Stevens covered her mouth with his hand and pushed her against the table again, rucking up her dress. Freddie screamed against his hand, kicking and clawing and biting. She heard a tearing sound: her dress. The dress she got from Brianna, and which Regina spiced up by sewing a little lace onto the hem. He ruined it. He ruined everything, and he will not stop.

Everything was a blur from then on: she heard some shouting, then Stevens was yanked off her before he could grab her panties, then she heard a cracking sound, and she felt gentle, warm hands on her.

’’Bozhe moy, my sweet, are you alright? Come on, Freddie.”

She was gently turned around, and Melnyikov was blinking at her worriedly. ’’Did he…please tell me I was here in time.”

Freddie nodded jerkily, and Melnyikov nodded, shrugging off her jacket. ’’Put this on, my sweet. That bastard tore your dress.”

Freddie looked down on herself: it was disgusting. It was ragged, crumpled, ruined. Like she was.

’’He ruined it…” Freddie whimpered, and Melnyikov sighed, wrapping her coat around her to keep her warm.

’’Come on, we need to call the police and Robin.”

She gently ushered Freddie along, away from Stevens who was lying on the ground, knocked unconscious by a metal chair that Melnyikov grabbed.

She let herself be pulled along; she was aware that Melnyikov kept talking, something about hearing her scream, something about knowing that he was bad news, that it wasn’t her fault, that she was okay and safe now.

’’I wanna go home…” Freddie whispered, letting her tears spill out. ’’I wanna go home to my girlfriends.”

’’Soon.” Melnyikov promised, wiping her tears away. If Robin was a mother figure, than Melnyikov was a grandma figure: Freddie felt awfully embarrassed, but she still flung herself into her arms, sobbing. Melnyikov gently stroked her hair, shushing her.

’’It’s gonna be okay, my sweet.” She said, rubbing a comforting hand up and down her back.

Freddie gave a bitter little noise. Maybe she should never have come here in the first place. Then this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe Stevens was right: she wasn’t even that talented. Maybe it was a sign, that she didn’t deserve to end up here.

And maybe nothing was going to get back on track, no matter how much she wanted it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really packed this fic full of despicable characters...


	27. To Love And To Heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie needs comfort after what happened to her, and her girls are more than happy to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A much calmer chapter after the mess that chapter 26 was- though there's crying in this too, and also some fluff.

Freddie flinched as a hand touched her hip, but she immediately relaxed when she found it familiar- even more so when she looked up, and instead of seeing Stevens’ hungry gaze, she was met with Regina’s gentle eyes.

’’Here, drink this.” She said softly, handing Freddie a steaming mug of tea. ’’It’s good for the nerves.”

Freddie nearly spilled it with how much her hands were shaking- hours have passed since the attack, and she was still way too highly strung, could still feel the rough hands on her body, wanting to take something she never offered. Realistically, she knew everything will be fine now: Stevens was charged for attempted rape, and Robin immediately rushed back to Freddie. The imminent danger was gone, but Freddie couldn’t stop thinking about the what ifs. What if Melnyikov didn’t hear her? What if he got what he wanted? 

And she couldn’t stop thinking about what Stevens said. Was she really not that talented? Was her body the only thing she could offer? Thinking back on it, this wasn’t the first time someone tried something like that with her, so maybe, there was some truth to his words…

’’I know what you’re thinking.” Regina said, gently brushing her hair out of her face. ’’Freddie, it wasn’t your fault. You never promised him anything, obviously. He’s just an entitled bastard who thinks he can do anything, just because he’s a straight, white, cis man in a position of power. You shouldn’t listen to anything he says.”

’’Reg is right.” Brianna, who just walked inside, said, sitting down next to Freddie and wrapping an arm around her shoulder to pull her close against her side.

’’He’s a disgusting piece of shit.”

Freddie sighed, resting her head on Brianna’s shoulder. That was without a doubt, but what about the rest? About her not getting in without his vote, which he admittedly only gave because he wanted to fuck her? Was that true? Was she really that horrible of an artist, that no one seemed to care about her skills, only her body?

Everything was so jumbled up in her head. She had no idea what she was supposed to think of herself now. She was always sure in her abilities, and this is what she wanted to do, this was her damn dream. But how was she supposed to go on after all this?

She just wished things would be a little more simple. She really thought she was on track, that everything was on track: she got the job, she was happy, she made good friends on the way; her relationship was thriving, she was all but ecstatic, she was in love…

And now, she wasn’t sure about anything anymore. She thought things would be okay, but she genuinely had no idea how to go back to that place now, if her value was truly her sex appeal and nothing else. Then maybe she should just be a stripper or something. And what about her relationship? She had Regina and Brianna, both of them who were still worried sick about her and coddling her, and who swore they would go after Stevens and murder him with their bare hands- but she didn’t have Joan, and so the picture wasn’t whole. A very, very important piece was missing, and that was the only thing Freddie needed right now. She needed her little pack complete. If her career meant nothing anymore, than she should at least have that, if nothing else.

She didn’t even realize she was crying until Regina gently wiped her tears away, caressing her cheeks. 

’’He’s gone, Freddie.” She said, her voice warm and caring. ’’He can’t hurt you anymore.”

’’I want Joan.” Freddie whispered, and she was aware she sounded childish, a hurt toddler whining after her mummy, but she couldn’t help it. She felt empty, uncomplete like this.

Brianna sighed, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear lovingly. ’’Freddie, baby, she doesn’t want to…”

’’Just call her!” Freddie cried, curling in on herself. ’’I want her to be here too. I want her back, I want her to explain, we need to be all together, it’s not okay, if…”

She choked on her breath, and Regina gently took ahold of her hands, squeezing them.

’’You’re having an anxiety attack.” Regina said, rubbing the back of her hands with her thumbs. ’’Breathe with me, come on.”

Freddie shook her head: she couldn’t breathe, not after everything that happened, not after her perfect little illusions were completely ruined. That was it. Ruined. Torn like her dress, shattered into pieces like her dignity.

’’Come on, Freddie.” Brianna joined in too, showing her the breathing pattern. ’’You can do it, sweetheart.”

Freddie tried, with sheer willpower, and she could finally feel her lungs filling up with much needed air again. She snifled, and her girlfriends kissed her on each cheek, a reward for pulling through.

’’We’re calling her.” Regina stated, sharing a look with Brianna. ’’She deserves to know anyway.”

Brianna sighed but nodded, pulling Freddie into her lap, letting her tuck her face away in her neck safely. Freddie knew that her and Regina have sort of given up on Joan already, but she hasn’t- and she won’t.

She stayed in Brianna’s arms, listening to Regina’s faint voice from the other room. She shivered as Regina said ’’almost raped”, but Brianna stroked her back, holding her close and away from harm.

Now she only needed her fourth girlfriend back to fully be able to breathe again.

She hoped it wasn’t a dream as Joan appeared in the doorway, looking slightly disheveled. She came from work, still wearing her overalls, and she was clearly running, if her wheezing and her messy hair was any indication. She came running to see her, to see them, and Freddie almost managed to smile at that.

’’Fuck.” Was the first thing that Joan said to them after avoiding them for almost an entire week. She rushed over to the bed, dropping to her knees in front of Freddie and taking her hands into hers.

This gentle movement was enough for Freddie to break again, and she started sobbing, surging forward and hiding her face in Joan’s neck, nearly knocking her over and to the floor, but she stayed steady- their strong Joan.

’’Jesus, Freddie.” Joan sighed, carding her fingers through her hair. ’’I am so sorry.”

’’I’m okay now.” Freddie whispered, clutching onto Joan like a lifeline. ’’You’re back.”

Joan drew in a sharp breath, but didn’t comment on this, just held Freddie tighter. She looked up at the other two, sighing.

’’What in the world has happened?”

’’What I said over the phone.” Regina replied, her voice coming out a little sharper than intended. ’’I won’t repeat that again, she doesn’t need to be reminded all the time.”

’’As if I could forget.” Freddie snifled, pulling herself out out Joan’s hold and sitting back on the bed, letting out a deep breath.

’’Stevens wanted to rape me.”

Joan visibly flinched at her words, but Freddie wasn’t phased anymore. She experienced it firts hand, talking about it was nothing compared to what really happened. She might have felt awful when she heard that word for the first time today, but the more it kept being repeated, the more desensitized she became to it.

’’He said I was ungrateful, because he was the only reason I’m there. Because I’m not even talented.” Her voice cracked a little at the end, and she averted her gaze, feeling horribly embarrassed. It was true, it really was. She was inadequate, she didn’t matter.

’’Freddie, this is bullshit.” Joan said gently but somehow firmly at the same time. ’’You are insanely talented.”

’’This is what we keep saying.” Brianna chimed in with a resigned sigh. ’’But she doesn’t believe us now.”

’’Because he was right!” Freddie snapped, startling her girlfriends. ’’I wouldn’t be there if he didn’t want to fuck me!”

’’This is not true, and you know that too.” Regina said, placing a comforting hand on her knee. ’’Do you really think that Robin didn’t want you in? She saw the logo that you made and practically creamed her pencil skirt. She wanted you to work for them since that day. You cannot seriously think that your job entirely depended on what that motherfucker wanted. Robin wanted you, and so she fought for you, and I’m pretty sure Melnyikov and everyone else did too. Because they recognized your talent.”

’’He only said that because he wanted you to feel insecure about yourself.” Brianna added, gently rubbing her back. ’’He wanted you to believe him, to think that you really should be grateful to him, so you would…yeah.”

’’He tried to dodge the responsibility, and make it seem like everything was your fault.” Joan said, gently taking her hand into hers again. 

’’But it wasn’t, Freddie. Because you’re an amazing artist, and you don’t have to kiss the ground before anyone for giving you that job, because you deserved it.”

’’Think about how happy you made those kids.” Regina said softly, giving her a gentle smile. ’’It was your art, the ponies and the butterflies, and the flowers, and everything you created for them. It was all you.”

Freddie let out a shuddering breath, wiping at her eyes. These words all rang true, even if she was too exhausted to truly understand their meaning.

’’But it happened before.” Freddie whispered, ducking her head. ’’Men groped me when I was doing that portray drawing thing, maybe…”

’’You cannot blame yourself for other people’s mistakes.” Joan said, hooking a finger under her chin to lift her face, making Freddie look into her eyes.

’’It says nothing about you, but it says everything about them. They were awful, and it was never your fault.”

’’Of course not.” Regina said softly. ’’Some assholes being sexist and disgusting is hardly your fault.”

’’And don’t think they recognize art or talent.” Brianna added. ’’These type of people never do. But people like Robin, or Melnyikov, or… hell, even us- we do. Please, try to listen to them, to us, instead of to garbages like Stevens.”

Freddie nodded, feeling a fresh wave of tears stream down her cheeks, and her girlfriends pulled her into a group embrace, that felt exactly like it always did: normal, natural, perfect. Complete.

’’Robin is blaming herself.” Freddie chuckled softly, her voice a little muted as she had her face pressed into the Joan-Brianna-Regina combo.

’’She thinks it’s her fault, because she wasn’t there when it happened, and because she noticed that Stevens was leering at me, but she didn’t realize he could do something like that.”

’’This also shows how much she cares about you.” Joan said, kissing her forehead. ’’They all do, because you’re amazing. Keep that in mind.”

Freddie sighed, but she couldn’t help a small smile. What would she do without her girlfriends? Had she been alone, she surely would have cracked. But they were here, all of them, to keep her safe and remind her of her worth, just like how she always did the same to them.

Except, they weren’t completely here, not all of them, Freddie thought as she looked up at Joan. 

’’We need to talk.” Freddie said firmly, seemingly surprising Joan. She looked up, swallowing thickly and blushing.

’’For real now.”

Brianna nodded next to her, giving Joan somewhat of a sharp look. ’’You just left us, and we still don’t why. We need to know the truth.”

’’You owe us an explanation, Joan.” Regina added, and now all three of them were staring at Joan, waiting for her move.

Joan sighed, avoiding their eyes for a few seconds, seemingly thinking it through. Then she looked back up again, nodding a little uncertainly.

’’You’re right. I need to explain myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we only have to see if Joan manages to explain herself *bites fingernails*


	28. Stronger Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joan comes clean about her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter with a meaningful conversation- but we all need those, right?

They were all waiting for her to start talking, their eyes intent and curious, and Joan swallowed thickly, trying to gather her thoughts. They were right: she owed them an explanation. They needed to know why she did what she did.

The time they spent apart was pure agony to Joan. She thought she was helping her girls, essentially getting them rid of herself, the burden, the one who didn’t fit in, and yet, she didn’t feel too great about it. In fact, she felt like someone ran her over with a fucking truck. Nothing felt right: she missed her girls, their gentle touches, their gorgeous eyes, the softness of their skin, their laughter and their tears, their comfort and their dreams. It wasn’t the same without them around.

Freddie was smiling encouragingly, though her eyes were a little teary. God, but how could anyone hurt someone so precious, someone who couldn’t seem to be mad at Joan, even when she- and all of them- had all the rights in the world to hate her guts now?

Regina had an unreadable expression on her face- her voice was almost angry over the phone, but Joan didn’t blame her. She did fuck off, out of their lives, and offered no real explanation. Of course she was angry, and confused.

Brianna seemed almost sad, like she didn’t quite believe Joan had anything to offer to them now. And wasn’t how this all looked like? She just ran away, instead of talking to them. Why would any of them think she could fix things?

Because this is what she was good at. Maybe she was a lowlife who didn’t know anything, but at least she could always fix things: that is how she ended up in the girls’ lives, after all. And she had to fix this too.

’’I’m sorry about the way I left you.” Joan said, looking down on her hands. She heard a sharp intake of breath, someone shifting on the bed, but no one said anything. It was her turn to talk now.

’’I did a lot of thinking.” She continued, feeling her cheeks heat up in embarrassment. ’’It was silly. I should have explained everything instead of just running away.”

’’You can explain now.” Brianna said softly, and Joan was relieved to hear that her voice wasn’t accusatory. ’’We are listening.”

Joan took one last deep breath, getting her thoughts and memories on track, and started speaking.

’’I used to have a serious relationship, a few years ago.” Joan started. Her chest already ached with the never fading pain of the past, but she tried to keep it at bay.

’’We went to the same school. That’s how we met. We didn’t have a lot of girls in my class, so we found each other quickly, and we fell in love. But she realized she didn’t want to be a mechanic; she dreamt of something bigger. And I… I understood that. I mean, follow your dreams and all that, right?”

She gave a bitter little chuckle, making her girlfriends share a look before they turned their attention back to her.

’’She became a doctor. A cardiologist. I was very proud of her. And so was she… proud of herself.”

The memories started flooding back, and Joan squeezed her eyes shut. It was such an embarrassing scenario, and she hated to relieve it again. But she had to, so her girls would understand what her problem was.

’’She was proud of how she was the youngest on the field. She went from someone who wanted to fix dripping faucets to someone performing important surgeries, and she was arrogant. I think that is the best word for it.”

She risked a glance at the other three, and she could see that all of them were frowning- but not at her, probably, more like at the story she was telling. At Holly.

’’One day, I got home to seeing her packing her shit up.” Joan sighed. It didn’t hurt as much as it did back then- she healed a lot since that day-, but it did hurt, and it was never easy to talk about it. Not like Joan ever really did, to be honest.

’’She said that I wasn’t satisfying her needs, and by that she meant that she was a lot smarter than I was. She called me out on being stuck, on not being able to improve. She couldn’t understand that I really did enjoy being a mechanic. Basically, she told me that she’s smart, and I’m stupid, and people were making fun of her for dating someone out of her social circle. So, she left.”

The silence was nearly defeaning, Joan could only hear and feel her own heart pounding. Then, Freddie spoke.

’’My God.” She breathed, and when Joan looked up again, she saw that her eyes were full of sadness. ’’Joan, this is terrible.”

’’Yeah.” Joan chuckled, fiddling with her fingers. ’’Maybe it was.”

’’Maybe?” Regina repeated, arching her eyebrows. ’’Joan, this was horrible, there’s no doubt about that.”

’’Except, maybe there is.” Joan said quietly, biting her lip. She remembered what Holly told her at Mirabelle, about Regina –and with her, the rest of her girlfriends- leaving her as they will all move on with their lives, aiming higher and higher while she stays in the dirt.

’’She said that you guys will leave me, eventually. Well, she only knew about Regina, because I was there to pick her up, and…”

’’Wait, wait, wait.” Regina said, holding a hand up to stop her. ’’The girl at Mirabelle? George’s sister?”

’’Yes.” Joan nodded, sighing. ’’Holly.”

’’Shit.” Regina growled, her hands balling up into fists over her lap. ’’I knew there was something up with her. That fucking bitch.”

’’Why would we leave you?” Freddie chimed in, looking so adorably confused, with her nose scrunched up, that Joan couldn’t help but smile.

’’Well, it’s… okay. So, the thing is, that you are all full of ambition. You are an artist, Regina is a designer, and Brianna is a professor. And I’m… just a mechanic.” She ducked her head shyly, but snapped it back up when Brianna tutted.

’’So what?”

’’I mean… is that enough for you?” Joan asked, sending them all a careful glance. ’’I’ll never be able to understand fashion stuff, or astronomy stuff, or art stuff. I’m only good at taking care of a flooded toilet.”

’’But you said you enjoy it.” Regina said, gently covering Joan’s hand with hers, and this simple touch made Joan’s heart skip a few beats. God, how she missed holding their hands.

’’And shouldn’t that be the only thing that matters?” Regina continued, staring into her eyes intently. ’’You are good at what you do, at what you like to do. What is wrong with that?”

’’Why would we care that you don’t understand our thing? I have no idea how a sink works, mechanically speaking.” Freddie chimed in with a little shrug and a gentle smile. ’’We don’t have to understand everything.”

’’But doesn’t that make us too different?” Joan asked, biting her lip. ’’Like… can we work out like that?”

’’Tell me, Joan.” Brianna said, her voice a mixture of sweet and strict, immediately making her perk up. ’’Do you honestly not feel like we are working out, the four of us together?”

Joan hummed, averting her gaze. She thought back on those moments she spent with her girls: the first breakfast, when the table was completely covered in glitter because of Regina’s portfolio, how she told her about her dreams and asked about Joan’s too, genuinely interested; how amazing Brianna’s omelette was, how well she made her coffee; how beautiful Freddie looked like in that bathrobe, and not in the ’’yeah, I fucked that chick last night, she’s hot” way, but in a ’’I want to look at her every single day from now on” way; how comfortable it was, just sitting with them and chatting about meaningless things. She thought back on waking up in the same bed, sharing lazy morning kisses, listening to Regina grumble about it being too early; she remembered comforting and caring for Brianna after the accusations pretty much knocked her off, keeping her in her arms and telling her that everything was going to be okay; she saw Freddie’s gorgeous smile as she opened the door for her, jumping into her arms until her legs weren’t touching the ground anymore, nearly sending Joan stumbling back; she remembered kissing Regina’s soft cheek, nuzzling her warm skin, a silent assurance that things are gonna be okay, even if they didn’t feel like it right now. She remembered them genuinely being interested in her work, asking a thousand questions and being awestruck by it. She remembered fitting into this little group so perfectly.

’’No.” Joan admitted, looking back up at her girlfriends. ’’No, I don’t feel that way. We do work out.”

’’We do.” Freddie said, her eyes sparkling in the light. ’’This is the only way we get through all the shit life is constantly throwing at us. Together.”

She laced her fingers together with Brianna’s and Regina’s, then looked up at Joan intently, waiting. Joan swallowed, eyeing their joint hands.

’’Does this mean, that… I’m enough?” She asked, faintly aware how ridiculously small her voice sounded. Brianna gave a soft chuckle, grinning at her.

’’Enough? Joan, you’re perfect for us. We told you that before, but we will keep saying that, if you don’t believe us. You belong here.”

’’We genuinely don’t care about that intellectual bullshit your ex pulled.” Regina scoffed, before her eyes softened as she looked at Joan. ’’We all struggle, in our own way. But as Freddie said, we can get through this, but only if we keep supporting each other. I wouldn’t have gone to try fashion school, if Brianna didn’t encourage me back in college. I wouldn’t have started working on that boutique, if it wasn’t for Freddie. And I wouldn’t have pursued the internship, if it wasn’t for you. Okay, yeah, obviously, I have some credit myself, but the thing is, I got this far because I had all of you.”

They all let out a soft laugh, and Joan felt the ice cracking a little bit- the ice that has been around her heart, then almost completely melted when she met the girls. Now, though… now it felt like it could really melt, and for good this time.

’’I would still be moping and crying in the corner, if it wasn’t for you.” Brianna added softly. ’’You managed to pull me out of my misery, and encouraged me to defend myself. And it doesn’t even matter, that Josh confessed, and that was what ended it. The main thing, is that you helped me a lot. You helped all of us.”

’’Look at me now.” Freddie said, giving a soft chuckle. ’’I felt like I couldn’t breathe without you. It felt shitty, and incomplete. But now… now it feels perfect. Because you are all here with me. We are stronger together.”

Joan blinked rapidly, though this time, she didn’t really mind her tears or the stupid, giddy grin on her face. She reached forward, putting her hand over her girls’, joining them completely. They were right. She belonged there, with them.

’’I love you.” Joan whispered, ’’I love all three of you so much.”

’’We love you too.” Brianna said, leaning forward to press their lips together. Kissing her girls was always a fantastic feeling, but these kisses tasted even sweeter than usual, as Brianna pulled back, only for Freddie to take her place and kiss her, before Regina leaned in too.

It was the longest kiss Joan has ever took part in, but she didn’t mind: they all needed it. They needed to keep touching, to keep feeling each other: to know that none of them would ever slip away. 

Joan was an equal member of this little group, and it didn’t matter what her stupid ex, or anyone said: she really did belong with them, they all belonged together. Nothing was working when they were apart: but it was so much better and easier if they stayed close.

And Joan swore that she would never, ever abandon them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, shoveling fluff at you after all those awful, angsty chapters I conjured up.


	29. Photograph

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina only has to complete one last step before she can achieve everything she has fought for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a little time jump here, about three months, just in case it would be confusing! :)

’’I’m doing this. Holy fucking shit. I cannot believe I’m doing this.”

Jack laughed, giving Regina a hug and gently patting her on the back. Jack Saldana was famous for not being a very touchy person, and Regina nearly squealed when he all but swept her up in her arms. Well, that probably meant what Jack said too: she deserved all the succes that would be coming her way.

The course ended, and Jack pretty much praised the hell out of Regina for the clothes she produced. Regina could see the improvement, too: she became more bold, thinking outside of the box like how Jack asked her too, finally living up to her full potential. It had probably a lot to do with how well things were going in her private life: Joan was back with them, and ever since that fiasco with Holly, their relationship just kept on thriving. Everything was great, except their flat has proven to be a little too small for four people living together permanently, so now they were kind of in the middle of flat hunting, but other than that, everything was perfect. Winifred talked to her more regularly now, and most of the ice has finally cracked between them. Regina was never really the type to hold grudges, and for the first time in a long time, everything was truly amazing.

She was a little… no, not a little, she was extremely fucking nervous now, though. The ending of her internship meant that her clothes would be displayed in the Gala Focus Magazine like how Jack promised, along with the creations of other interns- and Regina knew this was her chance to grow truly big. If people will snap their heads up at the clothes she made, she could finally be whom she was always destined to be: Regina Taylor, the famous fashion designer. But to achieve that success, first they needed to get through with the photoshoot.

’’You’re gonna be great.” Jack promised, giving her shoulders a light squeeze. ’’God, I could seriously cry. You improved so much, all of you did. You deserve to replace the big dogs.”

’’Not you.” Regina teased, and Jack scoffed, putting his hands on his hips.

’’Not me, of course! I would be hunting you younglings down for sport if that ever happened.”

Regina laughed heartily, feeling some of the tension inside of her dissipate. Jack was the friendliest boss she ever encountered, and she couldn’t be more grateful to him. Without his mother hen care, she would have probably given up already.

’’You make yourself sound old. You are pretty young.” Regina grinned, and Jack striked a little pose before gently bopping her on the nose.

’’How kind. Still, you all feel like my kids in a way. And your kids are going to be my grandchildren. I will have a giant family!”

Regina laughed, her face nearly aching with it. Well, she did have quite a big family too: her real one, her girls, and the friends she made along the way. They were all the ingredients that led her to go so far, even despite all the troubles she had to deal with.

’’Have you picked your models yet?” Jack asked, causing Regina to give a soft noise in surprise.

’’I can pick them myself?” She asked in disbelief. ’’I thought I was going to work with professional models.”

’’That was the initial idea.” Jack admitted, his lips curling into a little grin. ’’But then the board made this radical decision, that since you are all young, promising artists ready to change the future of the fashion industry, why not stick with this lovely concept and have our younglings choose their own models for their first, official and promotional photoshoot?”

Regina gave a little squeal. This put things into a different perspective, that was for sure: originally, she was a little nervous about the idea of dressing complete strangers, essentially getting thrown into the deep water right away, but this idea sounded much more exciting.

’’How many models do I need to bring?” Regina asked, unable to stop bouncing. Jack has probably noticed her excitement, because he laughed, gently grabbing her arms to steady her.

’’Depends how many outfits you wanna display in the issue.”

’’Six, or seven.” Regina said. Her grin widened. ’’Seven. I want to display seven.”

’’I have a feeling you already picked your models in your head.” Jack grinned, and Regina nodded, feeling her body tingle all over in excitement. 

’’I did.”

It was kind of funny, seeing Joan, Freddie and Brianna’s jaw all drop in unison, and Brianna couldn’t help but giggle, feeling like a giddy schoolgirl who just found out she will be in the same group with all her best friends in an upcoming project.

’’But… don’t they want professionals?” Brianna asked. Her voice was a little wary, but there was that same excitement sparkling in her eyes, the one that made Regina feel so happy.

’’No, this is the whole point.” Regina grinned. ’’They want us to pick our own models. And I picked you three.”

Freddie squealed, all but throwing herself at Regina and showering her in kisses. ’’Are you giving me the chance to display my luscious body on the catwalk? Hell yes, I’ll take it!”

Regina laughed, kissing her cheek and gently patting her bum. ’’Yes. What about you two? Would you be my models?”

Joan and Brianna shared a look, before Joan burst out laughing. ’’You know what? Why not. I want to wear sexy overalls.”

’’Your overalls are already sexy.” Freddie purred, and Joan gave her a little wink.

’’Bri?” Regina asked softly, looking up at her with her best puppy eyes. Brianna scoffed softly, before giving her a grin, and Regina already knew she was winning the game.

’’Okay, well… I hope I would make a decent model.”

’’You have the best body for it out of all of us, just saying.” Joan grinned, making Brianna blush and lightly swat at her.

’’Actually,” Regina started, ’’the whole point of my clothing line is that I don’t want everyone to look the same. There is no best body, because every body is the best.”

’’This still makes me go all soft.” Freddie cooed, kissing Regina on the nose, making her giggle. ’’Oh, darling. You have come so far! Did you realize this is like your last step to become an actual designer?”

Regina sighed dreamily. She was unable to wipe her stupid grin off her face: Freddie was right, this was the last step. Now she would only have to dress her models, teach them how to pose, and wait for the fashion industry’s reaction. What a messy, wild ride this has been so far- Regina could only hope this will go a little bit more smoothly.

’’Wait.” Brianna perked up, narrowing her eyes softly. ’’You said you’re thinking of seven models. Who are the rest?”

Regina grinned at the confused look on her girls’ faces. This was going to be so glorious, once everything is all settled.

’’I will need Freddie’s help to gather three, and the last one is a surprise.”

’’My help?” Freddie asked, and Regina nodded, grinning like a total idiot, she was sure of that.

She couldn’t wait to get this show on the road.

Her stomach was twisting with anxiety, and her palms were so damp that Brianna complained about holding it, and passed it off to Joan instead. Regina didn’t blame her: she was pretty much a nervous wreck as they arrived in the studio.

Jack was currently looking over George’s photoshoot, and he grinned widely when he spotted Regina and her little posse.

’’Here you are, my sweet!” Jack cooed, looking them all over. Regina kept her promise of displaying different body types, as she brought Freddie, Joan, Brianna, Robin Colvin and her wife, Angela, and Katja Melnyikov. There was only one model missing, but Regina hoped she would run in soon too.

’’So many lovely ladies.” Jack mused, kissing Freddie’s knuckles before turning to Brianna, and he greeted all of them in a similar fashion, making Regina roll her eyes with a fond little smile.

’’I have to admit, I never would have thought anyone would want me as a model.” Melnyikov chuckled softly. ’’I’m a little old for this.”

’’No, not at all.” Regina said, giving her hand a light squeeze. ’’Fashion is ageless. It’s for everybody.”

’’Am I at the right place?”

Regina whipped around at the familiar voice, and smiled when she came face to face with her Mum. She heard Brianna gasp softly from behind her.

’’You came.” Regina said, grinning, and Winifred nodded with a shy smile. 

’’I made a promise, remember? I will support you, truly, this time.”

She looked at Freddie and Joan, smiling. ’’I know Brianna, but I haven’t met you two before. Freddie and Joan, right?”

’’Yes, Ma’am.” Joan replied, and Winifred laughed softly, waving a dismissive hand. 

’’Please, call me Winifred.”

Regina couldn’t stop beaming as she watched Winifred chatting with her girlfriends. Just a few months ago, she thought her mother would never show up in her life anymore, and now, she accepted Regina’s offer to be her model for a day, as well as cooing over her girlfriends.

Someone gently tapped on her shoulders, and she turned to meet Robin’s wife’s eyes, who was smiling at her shyly.

’’I just wanted to thank you.” Angela said softly. ’’I have always been insecure about my weight, and this means a lot to me. That someone wants me to be a model.”

Regina felt her heart flutter happily. This was exactly why she wanted to get this fashion line off the ground: she wanted everyone to feel confident and beautiful in their own skin, no matter how they looked like. This was her goal all along.

’’Come on, you need to dress your models for the shoot.” Jack said softly, gently shooing them towards the dressing rooms. 

’’It’s gonna be great, Reg!” He yelled after her, and Regina now truly believed that.

They were waiting in the wings, and Regina was nervously tapping on the floor with her feet. She could tell that her clothes were good, especially now as she could see them displayed on her lovers and friends, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t nervous as hell. This was truly her big chance, the last step. And it needed to go damn well.

’’It’s all gonna be okay.” Freddie promised, giving her a gentle smile. ’’They are going to love this.”

’’You fought really hard for this, Reg.” Brianna said, brushing her hair out of her face lovingly. ’’This is the only obstacle, and you’ll get through this too.”

’’You deserve to be a big name in the industry.” Joan chimed in with a grin. ’’And you will be. Who needs Chanel, when they can have Taylor?”

Regina laughed, feeling her heart swell with love. What would she do without these girls? They were the driving force between her many decisions, that had her end up where she was right now.

’’I love you.” Regina said, squeezing their hands one last time before the models were called in for the shoot.

’’We love you too.” They all said in unison, then the curtains were pulled back.

Regina was proud. She wasn’t arrogant, not at all, but her clothes really did look great. And they looked great, because the models were all unique and gorgeous in them.

She directly asked Freddie to smile unabashedly- this was about celebrating the different looks and bodies of these incredible women. And Freddie did: she was gorgeous, grinning and laughing at the camera in the yellow dress she was wearing, and the photographer seemingly couldn’t get enough of her, snapping a thousand pictures of Freddie.

Brianna was walking gracefully in her high heels, no longer insecure about her height, her thin frame or her frizzy hair: she was gorgeous, she was perfect, and she finally seemed to believe that as she twirled around for the camera.

Joan looked amazing in the suit Regina made for her: the perfect ’’fuck you” to gender roles, laid- back and almost lazy, but with a cheeky tone that made everyone interested in her the minute she striked a pose.

Her Mum looked fantastic in her floral blazer and leather shorts, and once again, the similarities between them were striking. Regina couldn’t stop smiling as her forever shy, insecure mother blew a kiss to the camera, proudly displaying every stretchmark and every sign of her being a middle-aged mother of two without any shame, just like how it should be.

Melnyikov was an absolute diva: Regina had no doubts that once Freddie reaches her sixties, she is going to be exactly like that. She was gorgeous, full of life, cheeky and flirty, proud of her body and her age, filling the studio up with unabashed joy.

Robin looked pretty hot in her cut-out jumpsuit, Regina had to admit that. She seemed a little uptight when Regina first saw her, but this was nowhere to be seen now: she was a little angular, athletic and rather muscular than curvy, but she loved feminine clothes, and so Regina dressed her like that. Let the world see that you are allowed to wear whatever you like, even if people associate you with something else entirely.

Angela was the other favorite of the photographer in her croptop and floral shorts: Regina remembered what she said to her before the shoot, how much more confident she was about her body just by the offer to be a model. And now, she seemed even more confident, not hiding her overweight body like people kept telling her to do so. No, she showed everyone that she was beautiful, and perfect on the way she was.

They were all perfect, all unique- all of them could be called ’’flawed”, but Regina didn’t see those things as flaws. They just made them the people that they were. This is how it was supposed to be.

’’I am so grateful to all of you.” Regina said, once the last picture was snapped too. ’’This meant a lot to me.”

’’It meant a lot to us, too.” Robin said, giving her a kind smile. ’’We all hope it’s gonna work out for you, Regina.”

’’And you better give us a few copies of our pictures, I felt truly fabulous!” Melnyikov chirped, making everyone laugh heartily.

’’Sure thing.” Regina said softly. She smiled as Winifred pulled her into a hug.

’’I’m proud of you already.” She said, and Regina felt happy tears stinging her eyes.

Once Winifred released her, her girlfriends all huddled around her, pulling her into a group hug that amde Regina weak in the knees with happiness.

’’You know what?” Regina said, burrowing deeper into their embrace. ’’I really do think everything is going to be okay now.”

Freddie cooed, kissing her cheek, Brianna gave a soft noise in agreement, and Joan grinned, nodding along hastily.

Whatever happens now, Regina knew her girlfriends will be there to hold her hand.

But right now, she truly believed that after so much heartache and pain, so much struggle and failure, they were finally all where they were supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I gotta admit, writing this chapter made me soft.


	30. Honey, You Will Survive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, dreams really do come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta be honest: when I first started writing this, I had no idea where I was going with it. But I received a lot of support, which seriously meant the world to me- if it wasn't for people commenting/leaving kudos, and asking me about this fic on my Tumblr, I wouldn't have gotten so far with it. So, thank you for everyone who supported me and cared about this fic, i love you all! <3

_’’It’s insane. If someone has told me a few years ago that this is where I’ll be, I would have laughed them in the face.”_

_’’But you’re not complaining.”_

_’’No, I’m not, obviously.”_

_’’You know what? I think, deep down, I knew that this is where I will end up.”_

_’’I mean, you were always optimistic.”_

_’’It’s not just the optimism. It’s the knowledge that we all fought pretty fucking hard.”_

Honestly, packing clothes away for a trip was never exactly Regina’s favorite. She could never really figure out what to pack, and how many: she was already checking the weather obsessively, and two weeks in advance, just to see if she needed flip-flops or knitted sweaters.

’’Are you seriously fretting?” Brianna laughed, patting her own suitcase.

’’Oh, sweetness. I should be the one to be scared of the weather.”

Regina snickered, though she had to admit, Brianna was right. She will need to spend more time out in the open than Regina will.

Brianna wrapped her arms around her from behind, pulling her back against her chest until Regina relaxed with a soft purr, lolling her head back and letting Brianna trail kisses all over her neck.

’’Are you nervous?” Brianna asked softly, and Regina hummed, closing her eyes. Was she nervous? She was. Fashion weeks were always a rush, and Regina was just as anxious about this one as she was when she attended her ever first one. But then again, she was kind of experimenting with some mix and match with this clothing line, and she could never shake off the feeling that people won’t like what she did.

It was as if Brianna could read her mind, because she nuzzled her cheeks gently, pressing a little kiss behind her ear.

’’You’re gonna do great.” She said, squeezing Regina tighter. ’’Come on, you’re a Taylor. People always love your clothes.”

Regina laughed softly, turning around in Brianna’s arms, wrapping her arms around her neck to pull her down into a kiss. She could still visibly remember packing her stuff back at college, when she decided it was time to move on, to try and follow her dreams. Back then, she was just stumbling around in the dark, not knowing if it would ever work out.

But now, she had no doubts anymore, being one of the most recognized and talented young designers in the fashion industry, with a thriving boutique and full of future ideas. And now, she was heading to the goddamn Paris Fashion Week.

Brianna pulled back, giving her a smile. She was quite nervous too: Tenerife was a bloody long way from home, much further than Paris, and Brianna didn’t really have the heart to leave her little family behind. But then again, she was quite excited too: she always dreamt of taking part in a research trip like that, and she finally got the chance.

To think that things were actually going great for once, was almost insane. Brianna was way too used to everything turning to shit, that now that everything was so perfect, it felt almost comical.

But this was their reality now, whether it was unbelievable or not: she was going on a research trip to Tenerife, picked by the biggest name in the field, and Regina was heading to one of the biggest fashion weeks of the world, showcasing her newest fashion line. What else did they need?

’’I want shells from Tenerife, just saying.”

They both whipped around, cooing as Freddie walked- well, rather waddled- into the room, a cheeky smile plastered to her face.

’’If you two will leave me all alone, then I want some souvenirs at least.”

’’All alone? What am I, a shadow?” Joan teased, pressing a smacking kiss onto Freddie’s cheek, making her giggle.

’’Besides,” Joan continued, her eyes shining with happiness, ’’we have some company.”

She placed a hand on Freddie’s bump, giving it a gentle pat. She squealed when she felt a little kick against her hand, making Freddie roll her eyes with a fond smile.

’’Thanks, now you woke her up.”

’’Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?” Brianna asked, brushing Freddie’s hair out of her face. ’’We are gonna be away for weeks…”

’’Why are you implying I’m incapable of taking care of Freddie?” Joan pouted, and Regina cooed, quickly kissing her on the lips to comfort her.

’’Oh, we know you can take care of her.” Regina laughed softly. ’’We just don’t wanna miss the birth of our daughter.”

’’I still have weeks…” Freddie sighed, putting her hands on her hips. ’’You will be right back in time.”

She looked at Brianna, and could see a flash of emotion in her eyes that immediately made her groan.

’’No, no. Don’t even think about it. You have been gushing about this trip for months, you’re not staying home to count my stretchmarks. Neither are you.” She said, pointing at Regina.

’’Paris Fashion Week is a pretty fucking big deal, you all need to calm your mama bear asses down and go to work.”

Obviously, Freddie didn’t quite blame them: they were expecting their very first baby after all, and she would have lied if she said that she wasn’t nervous as hell. But she knew just how much this meant to Regina and Brianna, and she would have hated to hold them back. It was really time that they all achieved their dreams: she was mostly working from home now, sending in designs to Robin, and though she missed painting on walls, missed the rush of work, she still wasn’t sidelined. Robin made sure to assure her, that her work was just as valuable now as it ever was.

’’We’re just really gonna miss you three.” Regina sighed, kissing first Freddie, then Joan on the lips. ’’Facetime us a lot, okay?”

’’Will do.” Joan promised. Before Regina could open her mouth, she spoke:

’’Yes, I will check on Prime Jive. I don’t think you need to worry, though. There’s a freaking line everyday.”

Regina’s face utterly lit up, and Joan grinned too. To think that Regina had to close that boutique because no one was buying anything, and now people were tripping over each other to buy Taylor clothes… well, it was definitely well-deserved.

Joan didn’t quite make it as ’’big” as the other three: she wasn’t going to Tenerife, or Paris, or dipped her toes into online designing. But this was how she liked it: once, people told her that she was stuck at one place, that she should aim bigger.

But she loved being a mechanic, and she loved her three ambitious girlfriends. They were practically living in a smaller mansion now, they were expecting a baby- how much bigger should she aim? As far as she was concerned, they had everything they ever hoped for.

Regina looked down at her suitcase, and a huge smile spread on her lips.

’’It’s insane.” She laughed softly, shaking her head in disbelief. ’’If someone has told me a few years ago that this is where I’ll be, I would have laughed them in the face.”

’’But you’re not complaining.” Brianna said with a grin, one hand on Freddie’s swollen belly, the other tangled in Joan’s hair to pull her into a kiss. Well, she wasn’t complaining either, that was for certain.

Regina laughed, her eyes twinking with a thousand emotions as she looked at her girlfriends. ’’No, I’m not, obviously.”

’’You know what?” Freddie chirped, cradling her bump with a smile. ’’I think, deep down, I knew that this is where I will end up.”

’’I mean, you were always optimistic.” Joan said softly, kissing the top of her head, making Freddie let out a soft little chuckle.

’’It’s not just the optimism. It’s the knowledge that we all fought pretty fucking hard.”

They all hummed in agreement. That was the truth, after all: they all went through so much, from being forced to study something you actually hated, to having a boutique no one was interested in, and then to becoming a promising young fashion designer, whose name was getting more and more recognized; from struggling through college, having your dissertation thrown back in your face, to almost being kicked out of your workplace because a jealous asshole wanted to throw you off the ride, to going on a research trip and becoming a scientist; from having zero ambition and not knowing what life will bring, to having terrible jobs you hated and being molested and made to feel small, to becoming an amazing graphic artist, whose designs were becoming famous; from someone who was called a nobody and a lowlife, to having all your scars torn up, to someone who was proud and comfortable with the people that you loved.

It was the result of all those tears, sweat and blood they put into their jobs, dreams and relationships- everything came to fruition, after all.

’’We should head to the airport soon.” Brianna announced, her smile a mix of longing and excited. She may be having a hard time not seeing her lovers for weeks, but this was all for a good cause.

’’Be very careful.” Freddie said, holding onto Regina and Brianna’s hands. ’’We will be here, waiting for you two to come back.”

’’God, I miss you all already.” Regina chuckled a little wetly. ’’I love you.”

She kissed Joan, then Freddie, and then finally Brianna- once again, they connected in a big group hug, like they always did, those hugs that provided love and comfort through everything. 

They hugged when they were sad, when one of their dreams was shattered, and they needed reassurance: when nothing was working out, when they were hurting and they needed a safe haven.

Now, this hug was like the seal on everything they have ever done, forging them together: a promise that there will be many more dreams to come, and they will support each other through it all over again.

Because the only way they could keep themselves alive, the only way to keep their heads above the water, was together.

And now, that everything was finally great, the only way to celebrate that was together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course I had to give them a happy ending. Also, I hope everyone noticed the little hints that they were going to end up having a baby ;)

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me on Tumblr at bambirex,
> 
> or
> 
> bambirexwrites, where I take requests about fem!queen, so feel free to drop by and send me something! :))


End file.
